Chapter 21
BECCA
“Don’t overthink it, just send him a text, it’s fine,” I say to myself, hyping myself up to send my husband a message. Think of it like a business meeting to discuss some details.
With that thought in mind, I feel more confident as I put on my work mask. I type out the text.
There, I can do this—a perfect professional meeting request email. Did I actually just do that?
Before I can think it through, Sam responds.
Sam
Of course, I will be there, always.
Great. I type up a few words, add an attachment, and send the meeting invite. Ping.
Sam
Did you just send me a meeting invite… with an agenda?
Maybe.
Yes, I want you to prepare for the topics I want to discuss. Feel free to add to it if it isn’t sufficient.
Sam
You are one incredible woman :) I’ll review the agenda items and come prepared.
I sit at the bench in the park. I chose this location strategically because:
1) I can walk here from work, saving on gas. Not that I have been purchasing it, but the environment and all, priorities.
2) The bench doesn’t force us to look at each other. I can sit here, enjoying the view of the winding, slow river and the weeping willow branches gently grazing the water’s surface.
3) If my anxiety gets the best of me, I can simply get up and walk away. Rather than get distracted by his attractive face.
Sam approaches moments later with the biggest smile on his face. I stand up, straightening a non-existent wrinkle in my business attire.
“Sam,” I say, reaching out my hand to shake his.
Am I really shaking my husband’s hand right now, the man who walked me through an orgasm a few nights ago?
“Thank you for meeting me on such short notice,” I get out, forcing a calmness I don’t feel.
Sam hides a smirk as he grabs my hand. He squeezes it gently, slowly brushing his thumb up and down my skin. I suppress the shiver I feel at his touch. I don’t pull my hand away as fast as I should.
“No problem at all, baby. I reviewed the agenda items, and I’m prepared,” Sam states, attempting to sound professional. “So, the first order of business, the house you sold?”
I stop, confused, “How did you know it sold?”
He raises an eyebrow. “The second I saw your name on the real estate sign, I saved the listing, made sure I got notification updates.”
Why does a technology setting sound so sweet?
“Uh, yes, then as you know, it’s pending. If the deal goes through as planned, the sale is 1.4 million.”
He grins instantly. “Congrats, baby. I knew you could do it.”
“Thank you.” The word slips out automatically, but a knot tightens in my stomach. We’re drifting toward uncomfortable territory.
He leans in slightly, studying my face. He’s close enough that I can feel the heat of him, and for a second, I forget why we’re here.
“What is it? You’ve got that look again—like you’re swallowing a whole damn monologue. That’s not like you,” he chides.
I huff a soft laugh despite myself. “You know me too well.”
“Damn right I do.”
“It’s about the commission check.” I force the words out, even though I know they will hurt. “I don’t feel comfortable depositing it into our joint savings.”
Sam’s smile falters for a second. Then he straightens and nods.
“Of course. I get it. I really do. And I’m not upset; I don’t deserve to have access to your safety.
” He reaches across the bench, brushing his knuckles against mine.
“You earned that money. My careless decision broke your trust. I know it won’t come back overnight.
” His voice lowers. “You don’t owe me a cent, or even forgiveness—but I’m here to earn it.
A little at a time. No matter where this leads us. ”
I breathe out slowly. The tightness in my chest loosens, just a little. “I see that you’re trying,” I whisper. “I just … can’t shake the feeling that it could happen again. Especially with the salon build still going on. You’re so involved.”
He nods, jaw tight. “I’m working on stepping back from the salon. Trying not to leave Holly in the lurch but also trying not to leave you there, either.”
I flinch before I can stop myself. He notices.
His expression softens. “I know,” he says quietly. “I should’ve shown you that same consideration. I didn’t. I hate that. And I can’t undo it.” He takes a breath, voice thick. “But I also can’t make a bigger mess by walking away now without a clear de-escalation path.”
“Holly mentioned that she has a plan.” I pause, gathering my thoughts, “I don’t want Holly, or any woman, to be in a bad business or financial situation.”
And I mean it. Even if Holly and I will never braid each other’s hair or send matching memes, I want her to succeed. She’s Sam’s family, even if I was never really brought into the fold.
“Helping family matters. But not at the cost of our marriage,” I say, spine straightening.
His throat bobs as he swallows. “You’re right. And I owe you another apology. For what I said about your parents.”
I blink, caught off guard. He is jumping around on the agenda!
He continues, “Your parents are kind, loving people. And they raised the most incredible woman I’ve ever known. That alone makes them rich.”
“Okay, that is agenda points #1 and #5, a little out of order, but I can adjust … “ My voice cuts, and I’m unable to get the words out. “Why … how?” I stop to collect myself. “Are you saying things such as ‘favorite girls’ and that I ‘can’t go anywhere without you’ in your everyday conversations?”
Sam exhales sharply before speaking. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but no.
Never. I will admit, Rick gave off some misogynistic vibes.
He’s a big player in the scene, especially being a self-made man.
From what I have gathered through his mumblings, Rick came from a divorced family; his dad raised him.
I think his mom ran off with a lot of money. At least that is the gist I gathered.”
He huffs out a breath before explaining.
“I’ve thought about why I said that, and honestly, I have no good answer.
All I can think of is getting caught up in the moment.
When you want to look good in front of someone, you tend to mimic them.
I never thought of what I was saying as degrading, which I know it was.
I thought of it as me trying to fit in. When I say it, it sounds so high school, and really it is. ”
I can understand how people get caught up in the moment, embellish things, all to fit in. I did it plenty of times growing up to cover up the fact that I was lacking in areas. I told people my sweater was “vintage” and from my grandmother, when really it was a thrift-store purchase at a discount.
“I hear your statement. I don’t accept those terms, but moving on.” I look down at my phone to see the next bullet list item. “Next point. ‘Two of my favorite girls.’ I don’t think I can unhear that. Holly, begrudgingly, I can see how that statement would come out. But Mandy?”
“I promise you that I have never even thought about Mandy more than an oxpecker.”
“A what?!” I burst out laughing before I can help it.
“An oxpecker. Those are the birds on a rhino that eat the bugs off of them. They have a complex symbiotic relationship with the rhino; they eat the bugs and make loud, shrill noises when danger is nearby. She has always been a hanger-on around Holly, a presence I just accepted as part of life.”
“She wants you,” I point out.
“I didn’t know that, but now that you have said that, I will keep my distance from her completely. I never crossed the line with her, ever. But now I will stay so damn far from her she can’t even see me with her beady little oxpecker eyes,” Sam says matter-of-factly
I pause for a second, absorbing the information. “Wait, that simple?”
He nods. “That simple. You shouldn’t have had to tell me that. I see that now. But if you don’t want me near her, I'll stay far away.”
“Just like that?” I balk at him.
“Of course. I should have set the boundary without you saying it.” He pauses before continuing, “Baby, I know I’ve messed up, but I promise you, you speak up to me about your discomfort, and I will listen.”
I let that settle, feeling a little uneasy.
“Um, thank you.” I pause, preparing myself for what I’m about to say.
“I realize now, I expected you to see things, to know how I felt about areas of our life I never spoke up about. I … I should have trusted you to listen. That doesn’t make what you did okay, but I played a part in the silence between us. ”
“Thank you. But I should have looked closer too.”
Feeling uncomfortable in the direction of the conversation, I look back at my list.
“Okay, that takes us to the next agenda item.” I brace myself, not wanting to hear this. “Why?”
“Why what, baby?”
“Why did you give Holly the money from our account?”
Sam was expecting this question; it was attached to the calendar invite, but I can still see the pain in his eyes. “I didn’t think you’d leave. I thought …” Sam falters before continuing, “I thought … no matter what I did, you’d still be there.”
“More than that, why was Holly’s dream more important than mine?”
Sam leans in, eyes focused on me. “It didn’t start with the money; it started with her car accident.”