Chapter 50
FIFTY
Hazel
The look on his face makes me feel like I can’t breathe. It’s agony and fury all intertwined, and I see the way his hand shakes as he sets the paper down.
“I can explain.” I try not to cry. I don’t need to cry. We could fix this, easily.
“I don’t know if you need to. It’s pretty self-explanatory.” His tone is so cold it makes my heart ache from the frost.
“I know I said I was going to put the paperwork in a safety deposit box, but I filed it. I figured the state requires the ninety-day cooling-off period anyway. This way, when it was over, we could go our separate ways without having to wait even longer for the paperwork to go through. We could get back to normal faster.”
“So you weren’t even going to give me a chance?”
“Ramsey, at the time… Please, remember, at the time I didn’t know. I didn’t want to admit to myself how much I still lo ved you or that Curtis was twisting everything and manipulating me. I didn’t know you still loved me. I thought you just wanted the ranch back and wanted to punish me for moving on while I still lived here. I thought this would all be a disaster between us and that I needed to plan a wedding to marry Curtis. I thought you’d go back to Cincinnati to play again, and I could go back to my life the way it was.” I rush through my words, hoping if I can say them fast enough, it’ll stop the spread of the poison—like cutting off a limb to keep the rest whole.
A sad smile comes and goes from his lips, and I frown as I wait for him to say something—say anything at all—to let me know he’s not quitting on us just because I fucked up.
“Well… that’s my news. The team wants me back.”
“What? When?” It feels like someone’s just stabbed me in the gut with the way his words make my heart drop and take all of my hope with them.
“Immediately.”
I can hear my heartbeat echoing in my eardrums.
“But you’re not going, right? I thought that was over. I thought you were committed to the ranch and helping your brothers. That we were going to rebuild all this together.” I try not to sound as desperate as I feel.
“I thought that too.” He looks down at the decree. “But now we’re not even married, and this is all yours.” He lets out a huff of air and shakes his head. “It’s funny how the world fuckin’ works, huh?”
“You don’t mean that.”
“No, but you did. You got what you wanted. The divorce. The ranch. The inn. All of it. You don’t need me.”
“Ramsey! You’re being fucking ridiculous. None of that matters. You can’t do this to me again.”
“What matters is you lied.” He palms the piece of paper on the table. “We don’t lie to each other. That’s the difference between us and everyone else in this fucked up world, Haze.”
“You promised. You break that and you’re a liar too. You promised me that you were going to be here for me. You said you loved me.” The tears are coming hot and heavy now. I can’t stop them and I don’t care to. Not with the way he’s looking at me now—like he can see straight through me to the other side, where there’s a life waiting without me.
“And you ripped my fucking heart out!” He pulls the paper from the table and crumples it, tossing it to the floor. He turns his back to me and starts to walk away.
“Don’t you dare fucking walk away from me!” I yell after him, furious that after everything he’s just going to walk up the stairs.
He looks back over his shoulder, his face faltering for a moment before he regains his ire.
“Or what?” He dares me to say what I’m thinking.
“You can walk out of here for good!”
“Was already planning on it, sugar. Kinda the point of a divorce.” He turns to the stairs and makes his way up, pausing halfway to look back at me. “I’m gonna pack tonight and get a flight out of Denver in the morning. Grant and Levi will look after you and the ranch if you need them. You’ve got your brothers here to keep you safe.”
An hour later I’m sitting at Seven Sins as Dakota pours me another shot.
“I thought we were gonna get to have a second burn-the-dress party. The first one was so much fun. This thing where you’re crying and pouting, not so much.” Dakota gives me a pitiful look .
Marlowe and Bristol push their empty shot glasses toward Dakota. I called an emergency meeting at the bar and had just finished telling them my sad sob story.
“You really filed it?” Marlowe scrunches her nose.
“I know I fucked up, but I thought…”
“You thought you were going to marry Curtis. Then he turned out to be a giant piece of shit.” Bristol nods her head like it’s a perfectly sensible thing.
I haven’t told them the whole story. I’d kept it to the important parts. Curtis was manipulating me the whole time to try to get the ranch. I found out. He was gone. Drove out of town, never to return. I didn’t want them to have to keep my dirty little secret, but I’m worried keeping it from them might eat me alive. Especially when the secrets are starting to mount up.
“But I lied to Ramsey. I told him I’d put the papers in the safety deposit box,” I say as Dakota slides another drink my way. I take a sip. “This tastes like it’s watered down,” I complain.
“It is because you’ve already had three shots. I get wanting to drown your sorrows, but let’s not drown you, too, okay?” She raises her brow.
“I don’t want to remember any of this.” I stare down at my whiskey and Coke. “I just want to go back in time and fix it. I can’t lose him twice. I can’t.” The tears threaten, and Marlowe rubs my back, and I throw back the rest of my drink. It doesn’t even burn like it should and for some reason, that brings the tears. Now I’m that girl, crying in the bar over her man while her friends huddle around her drunk ass trying to convince her she’ll be okay.
“You know I love you, and I hate to say this, but…” Dakota shakes her head. “I think you’re gonna have to go throw yourself at his mercy.”
“How? ”
“Beg?” Dakota winces as she makes the suggestion.
“Get naked?” Bristol adds.
“Oh, better yet—put on some of the lingerie you got for your honeymoon.”
“Yes… let’s remind him of how I tortured him when he first got here.”
“I’m fairly certain that man likes being tortured.” Dakota pours me another drink, this one very obviously ninety-nine percent Coke and one percent whiskey, and I frown at it and then her.
“Maybe just remind him of how much you love him?” Marlowe gives me an encouraging smile. “But the getting naked and begging thing might not hurt.” Her smile turns slightly pained as I glare at her. “Sorry, but I don’t think they’re wrong.”
“Men are easy creatures to manage once you figure out their weaknesses, and you already know Ramsey’s. So use them,” Bristol encourages. “And then once you’ve got him where you want him, tell him how you really feel now.”
“Am I crazy for wanting to make it work with him?” I stare at the bubbles rising and breaking on the surface of my drink.
“No. Somehow… someway… it’ll work out. You’re like magnets, always finding your way back to each other no matter the obstacle in between. You’re meant for each other.” Marlowe’s got all the right words even though she doesn’t know exactly how right they are.
“He’s going to try to run again. I know it. I’ll probably go home, and he’ll already be gone.”
“Then you go to Cincinnati after him.” Dakota shrugs.
“To Cincinnati?” I ask, giving her a shocked look.
“If you love him, and he loves football… maybe let the man have one last season.” Bristol looks at me thoughtfully.
“But the ranch needs me. We have to rebuild the stables, and I had plans for remodeling the inn. ”
“Does it need you?” Dakota’s brows raise. “Or could it manage without you for a few months as long as you make trips out here? Grace, Kit, Elliot, Kell… hell, even Cade is doing a good job of keeping things running while you’ve been dealing with the aftermath the last few weeks. Bo and Anson, I’m sure, would be willing to check in on things too.”
I take a long chug of Coke, wishing it was more whiskey. She had a point. A point I didn’t love because… I like feeling needed around the inn and the ranch. I like being the one to make sure everything’s functioning. I like putting in the long hours it takes and going to bed exhausted.
But I also really love being married to Ramsey Stockton. I love watching the way he lights up on the field, and I’ve never gotten to see him play in his home stadium in the pros. I didn’t hate the idea of listening to tens of thousands of people chant his name when he sacks the opposing quarterback for the third time like he did in college.
“She’s thinking about it,” Bristol notes.
“Maybe she needs another drink?” Marlowe points to my half-empty glass.
“Yes. One more shot for good luck. I’m going to need it for the begging I’m about to do.” I push my glass forward, and Dakota tops me off before she looks at Marlowe.
“Can you take her home?” Dakota asks.
“Yep. I don’t mind,” Marlowe agrees.