Chapter Fourteen
Space. I need space.
I really should have demanded that we bring my car tonight, but Bullet knows how much I love riding. It’s one of my favorite things to do in the world and something I now only do with him.
Still, it doesn’t help the situation we’re in. I love being so close to him, but it’s fucking torture.
Bullet turns his bike off, and I jump off.
“I swear these houses keep getting bigger and bigger,” Bullet mutters as he gets off the bike.
Taking my helmet off, I shake out my hair as I set my helmet on the seat. I look up at the house. “Huh, I never noticed that before.”
“How do you guys even find out about these parties?”
“A text goes out, and then we all spread it around. You should know this, you’re not that much older than me,” I tease.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You ready to go in there?” he asks as he takes off his helmet.
I watch him run his hand through his hair. It’s longer than it’s ever been, but it looks good.
I’m staring.
I force my eyes away from him, and I look back up at the house. Do I really want to go in there? Am I going to be able to say no when I’m offered something?
My therapist said I should do this. She told me to do things that I used to do back when my mom was still alive. Just not as extreme as I have been lately. She reminded me that a girl my age would be in college, meeting new people. Going to events and getting to know the world as an adult.
This party might not be exactly what she meant when she said to get back out there, but I feel like I need to do this. I need to prove to myself and to Bullet that I can go to a party and not get shit faced. That I am over this part of my grief and ready to move to the next step.
“We can head home right now and put on a movie or pull out a board game. We don’t have to do this,” Bullet says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“No, we’re already here,” I say, shaking my head.
I take one step and then another and then another. Bullet falls into step next to me. Side by side, we walk up the porch steps and into the house. The place is jam-packed, and the music is so loud it feels deafening.
Shit, maybe I used to drink so much at these things just to drown out the noise.
We push our way through the living room and into the kitchen. Skyla is standing next to a guy I’ve never seen before and twirling her hair. I look over at the guy and smirk.
He’s totally her type.
She must feel my eyes on her because she looks over at me and squeals.
“Harlee! You made it!” Skyla says as she throws her arms around me.
My nose scrunches up as I pat her back. She smells like weed, liquor, and fire with hints of lavender. It’s overwhelming. Did I use to smell like that?
“I told you I’d come,” I say as I step back.
She rolls her eyes but smiles. “Yeah, but you could have changed your mind. Now let’s find you a drink.”
“No thanks.”
“Do you want to get high then? Chad has the good stuff from NorCal that you like.”
“Nah, I’m good,” I say, and her eyebrows shoot up.
“Who are you and what have you done with my best friend? Because the Harlee I know, she never says no to a good time,” she says, making me wince.
I don’t know why it hurts, but it does. Does she really think I’m not capable of having a good time without the assistance of a substance? Did I really fall that far?
I feel Bullet step up behind me and relax, his presence comforting me.
I can do this, and if I’m tempted to fall off the wagon, he will stop me.
Skyla’s eyes move from me to Bullet, and she smiles wickedly.
“Hey there, good looking, are you actually staying tonight?”
In true Bullet fashion, he ignores her.
“You good?” he asks me quietly.
I look over my shoulder and nod. “I’ve got this.”
For a minute, we just stare at each other.
The DJ starts playing a new song, and Skyla squeals, forcing me to look her way.
“Come on, let’s dance!” She grabs my hand and pulls me toward the dance floor.
As we start to get lost in the crowd, I look over my shoulder and see Bullet standing there watching. Always watching. Always keeping an eye out for me.
Skyla pulls my body into hers, and we start to dance. Song after song, we move together. Guys start to pay attention, and Skyla eats it up while I get lost in the music.
“Okay, I need you to be honest with me. You two are totally fucking, right?” Skyla asks randomly.
“Who?”
“You and Bullet. The chemistry between you two is off the charts. Like I could get pregnant by just standing too close to you when he’s looking at you.”
I look over my shoulder and see him standing by the wall, arms and ankles crossed. His eyes are already on me.
The way he looks at me makes me shiver. Shit, I feel like I could get pregnant by the way he looks at me. My breath catches, and my skin feels like I’ve been electrocuted. Like I’m having an out-of-body experience.
All from one look. One that screams he sees me as something more.
That’s not how friends look at each other.
“So are you?” she asks, pulling my attention back to her.
“No, we’re just friends,” I tell her, trying to hide the bitterness from my voice.
I want to tell her that we want to be together but can’t. She wouldn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how the MC works and how loyalty is everything.
Skyla flicks her hair over her shoulder. “So you wouldn’t mind if I made a move?”
For a split second, I contemplate grabbing her by the hair and throwing her to the ground and punching the hell out of her.
Friends. Just friends.
“Go ahead, but I don’t know if he’s interested. He doesn’t really date or hook up.” I shrug.
“No one’s gonna turn all this down,” she says as she waves her hand around herself as if she’s a prize.
I forced myself to laugh. “Good luck then.”
“I don’t need luck.” She winks.
I take a deep breath and force myself to stay on the dance floor as she flounces away.
Even if I don’t like it.
“Hey, you wanna dance?” a guy in khakis and a polo asks.
Do I want to dance? Yes. With you? No, I think to myself.
“Sure,” I say instead.
Mr. Frat Boy smiles and pulls me into his arms, and we begin to move. Across the room, I can feel him staring daggers into my back, but I don’t stop.
Friends. We’re just friends.
I’ve never been Skyla’s biggest fan. I’ve always just dealt with her because Harlee liked her. She’s one of those girls who is only friends with people she thinks can give her what she wants. It’s always about her. She’s an attention seeker and loves to be the star of the show.
That and she is a perpetual flirt. In the past, she’s only flirted with me when Harlee wasn’t looking. Tonight’s different, though. For some reason she thought she could come right up to me with Harlee in the same room.
“Come on, don’t you want to dance?” she asks as she tries to touch me.
I step to the side so her hand falls between us. For a split second, annoyance filters across her face before she catches it and tries to look seductive once again.
“Go away, Skyla.”
“Come on, Bullet, you don’t have to play hard to get.”
“I’m not playing shit.”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, you know you want me. Don’t you feel the chemistry?”
Chemistry? There’s no fucking chemistry between us. Just the idea of her touching me makes my dick shrivel up and die.
“Skyla, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but it’s not happening. Now go find somebody else to fuck with.”
Skyla huffs. “Come on, Bullet, you don’t have to deny it. I know you’re worried about upsetting Harlee’s feelings, but it’s okay. She told me it was fine. She gave me her blessing.”
How fucking dumb are you?
Everyone knows Harlee doesn’t like to share anything, let alone the people she cares about. She’s an only child who was spoiled fucking rotten between her parents and the club. Sharing isn’t in her DNA. So yeah, my girl might have said she gave her blessing, but she wasn’t serious.
I can almost guarantee that if I try to take Skyla up on her little offer, Harlee would come over here and put an end to it quickly.
Just thinking about Harlee beating the shit out of this girl makes me smile.
“Ah, I see you’re warming up to the idea,” Skyla coos as she steps closer.
When she reaches out to touch me, I catch her hand, preventing her from doing so.
Leaning down, I get close to her face. “I’m going to say this one last time, and I want you to hear me.
You and me, we are never going to happen.
Ever. You do absolutely nothing for me, and I have no desire to listen to you moan.
We are never ever going to happen. Am I clear? ”
Skyla rips her hand from mine as she huffs, “I don’t know what Harlee sees in you. You’re such a dickhead.”
“Trust me, sweetheart, I’ve been called worse.”
“If I walk away, you’ll never have a chance with me again,” she warns.
“Do us both a favor and go.”
She rolls her eyes and stomps off, acting like a child.
Thank Christ. I thought she’d never leave. Looking up, I scanned the crowd looking for the object of my affection. What I see has anger filling my veins.
Some clean-cut asshole has his hands all over my girl. I wait for Harlee to pull away, but she doesn’t. She just lets him touch her as he dances.
I fucking hate it. The only person who should be able to touch her is me, but I can’t.
Her father’s warning plays through my mind.
I can’t have her. He made that clear from day one.
Harlee stops moving her body, going taut. Before I know it, I’m moving toward her as the dumbass tries to grab her and pull her into him.
“Let me go,” she demands as she shoves him in the chest.
“Come on, baby, we were having such a good time,” he slurs.
He pulls her into him again and tries to grind his pencil dick against her, making me see red.
Without a second thought, I reach out and grab him, pulling him away from her. “No means no, motherfucker.”
“Hey, I found her first!” he cries as he stumbles backward.
“Bullet…” Harlee warns behind me.
I ignore her and keep my eyes on the dumbass in front of me.
“Do you know who the fuck I am?” I ask, pointing to my chest.
His eyes drop to my cut and widen when he sees the Lotus MC patch.
“Ah, I see you’re catching on now, aren’t you?”
“I-I didn’t know, man. I didn’t know she belonged to you,” he stammers, making me shake my head.
“It shouldn’t matter if she’s mine or not. If a woman tells you no, you stop. You understand me?”
The guy nods as he swallows hard.
“Get out of my sight.”
The guy tucks tail and runs the opposite way, pushing his way through the crowd.
I turned back toward Harlee. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“Am I okay?” she scoffs.
She turns on her heels and walks away. I follow her through the house and outside.
“What the hell was that, Bullet?” she yells as she comes to a stop next to my bike.
“That guy had his hands all over you, and you weren’t interested.”
“So that gives you the right to step in? I had it handled. I can handle myself. I don’t need you to step in and try and save the day. Stop acting like you’re my brother or my dad.”
Is that really how she thinks I see her? As my sister?
I stepped forward, crowding her against my bike. I lean down and get into her face.
“Trust me, Harlee, I already have a sister, and I don’t need another one.
The last thing I think I am is your brother or your fucking dad.
Me stepping in had nothing to do with having brotherly feelings toward you or anything like that, because trust me, I don’t have those.
That guy needed to learn respect, so I showed him. ”
“We’re friends. You’re not sounding very much like a friend…” she says as she breathes hard.
I glance down and check her out before looking back up at her. “Trust me, Harlee, the last thing I want to be is your friend.”
Before she can run her mouth, I pick her up and set her on my bike. I grab her helmet and shove it onto her head before doing the same with mine. I get onto my bike and reach back and pull her legs forward until she’s pressed up tightly against me.
When I start my bike, everyone looks our way. As I drive away, I keep one hand possessively on her thigh.
Now everyone knows who she belongs to, even though I’m not supposed to have her.
She’s mine.
Always has been. Always will be.