Chapter Twenty-Five
Cuddling with Bullet is my favorite thing to do. Especially after a night of passionate sex. I swear, ever since we opened that door, he has been insatiable. Not that I have been any better.
Like now. I know he needs his sleep after being locked up, then fucking me into the mattress last night, but my pussy is throbbing for his cock.
Slowly, I start to stroke his cock until it’s at full mast. Then I reach over and grab a condom from my nightstand.
I open it as quietly as I can before I slide it down his length.
I’m surprised that he hasn’t woken up yet, but I must have really worn him out last night.
Straddling his hips, I line his cock up with my pussy. Slowly, I let myself fall on him, moaning at how good it feels to be so full of him.
Once I’ve taken him all, I use his chest to raise my hips and fall back down on top of him. By the third time, his hands come to my hips, helping me grind down on him.
“Was my angel needy? Did she take what she wanted?” his raspy voice growls.
“Yes. I needed your cock, and I took it. It feels so good,” I moan. “Jacob, fuck. I’m coming.”
He doesn’t let my body stop. He uses his own strength to move me up and down on his cock, drawing out my orgasm until he finds his own. When he finally stops, I collapse on his chest, completely spent.
“What a way to wake up,” he whispers against my ear.
My cheeks heat. “I would say sorry, but that felt too good.”
He chuckles. “Never say sorry for that. You can use my body whenever you want. It is yours after all.”
I pull my head out of his neck to look into his eyes. “Same goes for you. Asleep or awake, my body is yours. Take me as you see fit.”
His cock jerks inside of me at the offer. I smirk at him.
“You are going to kill me. I’m sure of it,” he grumbles, kissing my neck.
“What a way to go, though, right?”
He laughs. “You’re right about that. Let’s go get a shower. I’ll take you out for breakfast.”
I slide off of him, heading toward the door before looking back at him.
“Or I can be your breakfast.”
His eyes flare as he moves to follow me, but his phone rings.
“It’s Reaper. Go get the shower started, and I’ll come claim my feast.”
I do as he asks, a smile on my face. I cannot believe that this is my life right now. Everything feels right. I feel like I can finally breathe again.
I turn on the shower before stepping inside. I let the warmth heat my body as I clean myself. I’m almost done when Bullet finally comes in.
“I was wondering what was taking you so long. If you hurry, you might still have some hot water left,” I joke.
When I turn to face him, he is grim.
All humor flees me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Honk is coming home in two days.”
There’s the other shoe dropping. We have been living in this fairy tale bubble I created that I actually forgot the obstacles in our way.
My father never wanted me to end up with a brother.
He preached to me over and over again that the life of an old lady wasn’t one he wanted for his daughter.
He didn’t want me to worry the way my mother would when he would go on a ride.
Or for me to end up brokenhearted because the man I chose ended up killed because of their ties to drugs and gunrunning.
He had so many dreams for me, and I let him believe that I wanted them too, but I don’t.
I only want one now, and that is the man in front of me.
“It’s okay. He will see that I love you. He won’t take you from me,” I promise him.
He gives me a sad smile as he climbs into the shower. He pulls me into his arms, holding me so tight that I feel like it’s his way of letting me go.
“I won’t give up without a fight,” he tells me.
“Neither will I, and if he wants to banish you for our love, then I will go with you. I won’t live without you.”
Bullet doesn’t say anything. He only continues to hold me until the water grows cold.
“You’re shivering. Get warm. I’m going to wash up real quick,” he tells me, guiding me out of the shower.
I dry myself off as I watch him. He’s not the Bullet I’ve come to know and love. Right now, he is a machine, going through the motions.
I wish my dad wasn’t coming home.
The thought hits me like a freight train, making me feel guilty. How could I wish that? How could I want it?
When Bullet finally steps from the shower, I look up at him. “I want to go see my mom.”
He is shocked by the request. I haven’t been to her grave since the day we buried her. I couldn’t stand to look at a stone and think about that being all that is left to mark this world of her.
“I’ll take you as soon as we get dressed,” he tells me.
“Can we stop to get some of her favorite flowers? I don’t want to come empty-handed,” I ask.
He steps forward, cupping my cheek. “Anything you want, Angel. You know that. I’ll go get dressed. You do the same. Then we can go.”
I nod. “Okay.”
Before I leave the bathroom, I grab his hand. “It’s going to work out. I won’t let him take you from me.”
He gives me a sad smile before kissing me softly.
I hope we can figure this out because I am tired of grieving the people I love.
When Harlee said she wanted to come here, I was shocked. She has never shown any interest in visiting her mother.
Yet here we stand. She smiles down at the grave, tears in her eyes as she replaces the week-old flowers with new ones.
“Someone comes to see her. That’s sweet,” she whispers.
“I do. It’s where I go every Sunday morning. I bring new flowers and talk to her.” I let the admission linger in the air.
After several moments of silence, Harlee turns to me, grabbing my hand. “Thank you.”
I smile. “I don’t do it for you. I do it for me. Her too, I guess.”
I lower myself to the ground, smiling when Harlee does the same.
“I sit here and I tell her about everything going on in my life. I seek her guidance sometimes. Other times I sit here in silence and try to imagine her sitting next to me.”
She leans her head on my shoulder. “Do you feel like she is here with us?”
“I do. Not just here, though. As we go through the day, I feel like she is always with us.”
Harlee snorts. “Mom, I’m sorry about what you saw this morning. Please don’t smite me.”
I chuckle. “I’m sure even her spirit knows when to step into the next dimension and give us some space.”
“I sure hope so because she doesn’t need to know about some things. I like the thought that she is always with me, though. Does it feel awkward to talk to her?”
I shake my head. “Not for me. It’s like she is my own personal counselor.”
Harlee smacks my arm. “You mean I could be talking to my mom instead of some therapist?”
“You like your therapist and you can’t talk to your mom when she is what you needed to talk about,” I remind her.
“I know. I do like therapy. I feel like it has helped me so much. Still, I think I want to try talking to my mom too.”
“Do you want me to go wait at the bike? Give you some privacy?” I ask her.
“No. You can hear this.” She clears her throat.
“I remember when I was sixteen. This new biker boy came to the club. He was so handsome and I fell in love with him the moment I laid my eyes on him, but he wouldn’t pay me any mind.
So I was a brat. I would antagonize him anytime I could because I wanted him to look at me.
He never did. Do you remember what you told me, Mom?
You told me that a man like him shouldn’t look at a girl of only sixteen the way I wanted him to look at me.
You promised me that if I was patient and focused on myself then one day he would notice me if it was meant to be. ”
She starts to sniffle, so I pull her closer to me.
“I didn’t think you would go through the trouble of dying so you could bring us closer together, but I guess maybe I should have.
You have always had your own way of making our lives better.
I thought your death would kill me too, but it didn’t.
It made me stronger. I know I wasn’t something to be proud of for a while there, but I hope when you look down at me now that you are proud of the woman I have become.
I hope you bless this relationship with Jacob because he is every bit of the good man you told me he was.
He treats me right and puts me first the way you promised me that the love of my life would.
I know Daddy is going to give us issues, but I hope you come down and touch his heart, reminding him that you both raised an amazing daughter who makes the right choices, even if I faltered off the path for a bit.
I love you, Mom. I’m sorry I haven’t come sooner.
I promise I will come every Sunday with Jacob.
We will make sure you always have your favorite flowers, and on holidays I will bring your favorite wine to pour one out with you.
I won’t let a day go by that I don’t tell you how grateful that I am that you were my mom.
I miss you so damn much, but I know you are with me. With us.”
I let her words sit for a moment before I speak my own.
“Eleanor. It’s me again. I’m sure you are tired of hearing my voice by now, but I can’t help but seek you out when you have been a guiding light in my life.
Honk is coming home soon, and I know he won’t like that I am with your daughter.
I can’t help it, though. I love her with my entire being.
I would give her my last breath if that’s what she needed to survive.
I hope you would have approved of this union, but I have a feeling, by Harlee’s admission, that you planned this from the start.
You were always a sneaky one. Offering comfort while also bestowing your wisdom upon us all.
You are truly missed, but not forgotten.
We will never forget you. Not with the mark you have left behind.
Not only in me or your daughter, but everyone at the club.
They all still speak about you with light and laughter.
You are still bringing joy to those you loved.
I hope you can be with Honk as he learns how to deal with life without you.
I know it has to be hard for him because even the thought of not having Harlee in my life makes me want to take my own life so I wouldn’t have to bear the pain.
I love her more than words can express, and I hope that brings your soul rest knowing that she will always be taken care of. Until next time, you beautiful soul.”
I press a kiss to my index and middle finger before holding it up. The breeze picks up a little, making me feel like she grabbed the kiss and ran off with it.
“Do you think we will be ok?” she asks.
I close my eyes, feeling Eleanor all around us.
“Yeah, we will be.”