Chapter 13 Briar
brIAR
Even after taking a scalding shower, I can’t stop shivering. Taylor sits down beside me on the sofa and hands me a cup of tea.
“Thanks.” My throat is sore from the labored breathing in the cold last night. The air is much dryer in Montana than it was in Seattle.
Bensen and Gale are standing by the small foyer with their arms crossed, while John is sitting forward with his elbows pressed to his knees. Roman walks in last with a towel over his head and plops down across from me on the other sofa.
They all watch him expectantly. I refuse to meet his gaze, so I stare at his legs instead.
“No one knows what darkness truly looks like until it already has a hold of you,” Roman says cryptically. It sounds like a rehearsed statement. “No one knows how vicious the shadows are until the Dark Forces are upon you.”
My eyes flick up to his, confusion pulling at my brow. The dark what?
He’s the only man on earth who could pull off being serious with a goddamn towel on his head.
But he looks fucking sexy as hell with strands of his hair falling over his forehead.
The tight black shirt doesn’t leave much to the imagination either—not that I’d need one after seeing his bare chest last night.
“We are the ones they send when the job is too dirty for the officials to handle. We are the violent leftovers of society, recycled into weapons for the secret underground forces no one dares utter a word about. We’re crafted for one thing and one thing only: to kill whoever the fuck we’re ordered to and clean up messes the uniform-wearing forces can’t be tied to.
” Roman’s face is a display of unconcerned truth.
My breaths become shallow, and I hold on to the mug a little tighter. Taylor sets his hand on my knee and gives me a sympathetic smile like he feels bad that they have to tell me this.
I look each of them in their eyes and mutter, “You’re serious.”
A collective nod.
“Why are you telling me this? I shouldn’t know this if you’re in some secret branch. Isn’t that, like, a security breach?” I move to stand, but Taylor firms his hold on my leg, silently telling me to stay put.
Roman’s eyes darken, and he tilts his head to the side as he unwraps a piece of candy and slowly places it on his tongue. “Because the enemy of our enemy is a loose end.”
I glower at him. “It’s supposed to be friend.”
“We don’t do friends, Squirt. Not when it comes to work,” Roman says with a crooked grin.
Work? This is beyond work.
“Uh-huh, I’ll believe that when I don’t see you guys fawning over every woman that looks your way,” I shoot back.
John huffs. “Stop. We are tasked to blend in. It’s okay that we—”
“Get your dick wet?” I deadpan. Taylor bursts out laughing beside me. I spot Bensen quickly smothering his grin with his hand.
“Why here of all places? And why me? I’m useless. I don’t have anything to do with…whoever you guys are fighting with.” I set down the tea before I spill it all over myself.
“We’ve been digging up the black market’s gatekeepers. This particular group is known as Sub-Rosa, but you wouldn’t believe how much shady shit goes down in small, insignificant towns like these, where no one bats an eye at anything happening,” Gale adds.
Bensen leans against the wall and grunts. “Think hard, Briar. What do you have or have knowledge of that would be useful to an underworld operation? Because honestly, it’s been pretty damn quiet around here until your uncle was terminated and you showed up out of nowhere.”
My uncle was terminated? My eyes widen and my stomach drops.
Was he working with the black market? Like dark web shit or illegal weapons trade? My heart beats faster, and the few sips of tea I took are already bubbling like they might come back up.
They all stare at me expectantly. Like they genuinely think I’ll have the answer they want to hear.
“I don’t know anything. Especially about my uncle.
Maybe important documents or the item I’m supposed to be looking for that’s worth money…
but other than that, I don’t know.” My fingers curl into my palms, and I hesitantly look up at Roman.
His gaze could cut stone. I consider clarifying that it’s a flash drive but can’t bring myself to say it.
What if it’s the only thing keeping me alive?
One thing is clear, I can’t trust any of them.
John gives me a pitiful frown when I start trembling again. “We will have time to discuss this later. Can we figure out lunch first? Let’s try to clear our heads. We’re all tired.”
Gale stretches and nods. “Pizza.”
Taylor and Bensen are quick to agree.
It’s crazy how they’re able to just push this world-shattering news aside with the mention of food. It seems like they are so desensitized to danger that they don’t even care that we could literally be sitting ducks here.
Roman’s standing over me. “Calm down. All you’re doing is stressing yourself out.” I blink and am a bit mortified at how I just totally zoned out for a few moments.
He just won’t leave me alone, and I’m beyond sick of it.
I stand up and slip by him. “Eat without me. I’m going to bed,” I grumble as I head down the hall toward my room. Well, temporary room. Nothing here feels like mine, and I hate it.
I just want to feel like I belong somewhere for once.
Heavy footsteps follow me into the hallway. I don’t bother looking to see who it is. I know it’s Roman in all his asshole glory.
The second I step into my room, I shut the door behind me and flip the lock. I collapse onto the bed and stare at the ceiling as Roman tries the doorknob. A weak grin forms across my lips for a fleeting moment because I hear the lock unclick and he’s stepping into my room.
“Seriously, Roman?” I snap, propping myself up on my elbows. My response sounds muted—my rage has long since faded, and I’m too tired to fight with him.
He doesn’t argue with me right away like I expect him to. He just stares at me with his typical unreadable expression.
“You could’ve died last night,” he finally says, tension feathering across his jaw.
My heart squeezes. I know I almost did. That’s why I’m pissed off that he just wants to be a jerk as if nothing happened.
Roman opens his mouth like he wants to say more, but then his brows pinch together with confliction. Don’t tell me he actually has emotions.
I give him a steady glare. “I’m aware.”
He stares at me for a few seconds longer before cursing and running his hand through his hair. Roman turns and faces the door like he’s about to leave, but he doesn’t move a muscle. He stands there and fists his hands at his sides before sighing and letting his shoulders slack.
“Thank you.”
My jaw drops and my brows lift. Did he just thank me? “What for?” I say in a clipped tone, not letting him off the hook that easily.
Roman whirls on me, a fire in his gaze that matches the one I saw in his eyes at the race. He comes down on the bed and straddles my body, hands pressing into the mattress on either side of my head.
I inhale sharply and firm my lips, refusing to give him the satisfaction of whimpering in fear at his stupid games.
He lets his gaze move to my mouth, shifting closer and letting his lips brush against the shell of my ear. I hold my breath, waiting for him to whisper something cruel, but nothing comes.
Roman breathes me in and leans back to look into my eyes once more. “Thank you for not letting me drown. You…saved my life.” The way he says it makes it seem like he’s in so much agony—like he’s never had to thank someone before.
I bite my lower lip and decide to not tease him. For the first time it seems like he’s genuinely trying to be nice to me. Even if he called me a whore, like, two hours ago.
“You saved me first.” I soften my gaze and offer a meek smile in an attempt at a truce. Roman studies me like he’s searching for some ulterior motive in my features.
Now that I know he’s in some secret military operation, I guess his demeanor makes more sense—his emotionless reactions to everything, his violent behavior, the distrust in his eyes.
I observe him back in equal silence. It’s a mutual exchange of consideration for each other, like we are only now truly trying to understand the other.
I see his scars differently—some must be from dangerous missions.
But the one that looks self-inflicted… What’s the story there? Would he ever tell a soul?
Something tells me the answer is no.
“I shouldn’t have…but I can’t seem to keep myself on track with you.” Roman sits up at the edge of the bed and lets his gaze drop as he focuses on something on the floor across the room. “You’re awfully distracting.”
“You’d have let me die?” I say, more humorously than not.
His mask cracks, and he looks at me with a lopsided grin. It’s so innocent, yet his words are venom. “I’ve let many before you die, Squirt. Even the pretty ones.”
My pulse flutters at his daring gaze, and I swallow the knot forming in my throat. “Why save me then? You didn’t have to protect me.”
Roman frowns slightly, letting his eyes fall to the cuts on my legs.
“Because you are peculiar, Briar. Sad and broken. Lost and hopeless. You strive to survive so desperately, but you don’t know why.
” He pauses and holds his hand up to the sliver of warm amber light that cuts through the shadows of the room from the window.
His scarred hand lights up, and warmth is reflected in his somber expression.
It might just be the weariness that tugs at my eyes or the heaviness in my bones, but I find him achingly beautiful in this moment, touching the strands of light but staring longingly as if they are not his to take.
His hazel eyes shift my way, refracting the amber hues like autumn fire. “I’ve only ever seen that kind of hopeless drive in the Dark Forces soldiers. So why does a young woman like yourself have a burdensome amount of trouble in her lonely eyes?”