Chapter 22 - Ryder
Blinding white lights assaulted Ryder's eyes as they flickered open and shut. A constant humming sound reverberated in his ears, making him look left, where a machine beeped at regular intervals. His vision was blurry, and everything ached like he'd been trampled by a stampede of wild horses. On the plus side, he was breathing. No acute, searing pain shot through his midsection at the intake of each breath. That was nice. Definitely an improvement from the last thing he could remember. The sensation of lying on soft fabric wrapped around his naked skin registered next, as did a few beeps of various medical devices. He was alive. Somehow.
“You're awake!” The high-pitched, musical lilt of a woman's voice sounded nearby. It was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard, and it erased all other concerns from his mind. Relief flooded through his chest. Elena. He tried to push himself up onto his elbows, but the effort proved to be too much for him. With an exasperated groan of frustration, he flopped back onto the bed weakly. “Don't overexert yourself. You were badly wounded,” she added gently, and a soft hand stroked his arm.
He leaned into the touch with a contented sigh. The ache in his limbs evaporated under her fingertips. Gods. She was safe. Here, with him, alive and in one piece. A feeling of warmth and bliss spread through his veins at the realization. He hadn't lost her. With tremendous effort, he managed to make his vision focus. Sure enough, Elena sat right beside the hospital bed, dressed in loose-fitting light blue nurse scrubs, her auburn hair tied back in a ponytail. Her emerald eyes shone brightly with concern as she brushed stray strands of hair out of his face.
“Hey, Elena,” he rasped hoarsely with a small chuckle as he reached for her hand and grasped it tightly. “I almost didn't recognize you.”
That earned him a very light smack on the shoulder. “Don't start,” she warned him in a half-amused, half-irritated tone that made him smile. “How are you feeling? Any pain in your abdomen or trouble breathing?”
He chuckled again, shaking his head. With every passing second he spent staring into those gorgeous green eyes that glittered with beauty and magic, the haze cleared away a little bit more, revealing more of the world around him. The smell of antiseptic and bleach filled his nose, outweighed by the lingering scent of lavender and honeydew that clung to Elena's skin like an aura. A curtain shielded their corner of the room from the hustle and bustle just beyond it. As far as he was concerned, they were the only two people in existence. He squeezed her hand tenderly, trying to find the words to express everything running through his head.
“I'm sorry,” he said at last in a hushed murmur. Those simple words couldn't begin to encompass what he needed her to understand. “For everything. For being such a coward and pretending you didn’t matter to me. For pushing you away for years and thinking I was better off without you. You do matter to me. You always have.”
His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, and he coughed. His lungs were heavy and sore, and his throat was dry. Elena handed him a cup of water without comment and held it steady while he drank it, looking at him with a strange mixture of wonder and uncertainty. The cool liquid soothed the roughness and eased the knot in his stomach.
“What are you saying?” she asked cautiously as she set the glass down on the table beside her.
He squeezed her hand again and smiled as much as his tired muscles allowed. He was too tired now to say all the things he wanted to say, so instead, he lifted his free hand up to caress her cheek gently. His thumb trailed softly across her smooth skin, tracing along her delicate jawline as if committing every curve to memory. Tenderly, he tugged her closer. She accepted the pull willingly, leaning down over him with wide eyes filled to the brim with surprise and anticipation.
Wordlessly, he tilted his head towards hers and pressed his lips against hers lightly. The kiss sent a rush of warmth through him, washing away any last shreds of doubt or hesitation. He poured everything he could into it—his fear and uncertainty, his longing and regret—hoping that she could understand. From the way she responded, it felt like she did.
“I love you,” he breathed into her mouth as they pulled away for air. Gods. It felt good to say it out loud for the first time. He traced his fingertips down her neck and over her shoulders lightly. “I'm a fool. For all these years, I've wanted to protect you by keeping my distance and avoiding getting attached. Turns out you're pretty capable of protecting yourself. And me.” His chest tightened at the memory of Elena kneeling beside his broken form in the forest clearing as he bled out on the damp earth. “Thank you,” he added softly as he gazed into those endless depths of shimmering green. “For saving my life. Twice.”
She blushed deeply and looked down sheepishly, suddenly shy. “Of course,” she replied meekly, her voice trembling slightly. “I can't have my baby's father dying on us like that. We're going to need you around to help out.” When she glanced back up to meet his gaze again, it was with a twinkle in her eyes that made his heart swell with joy. “You are going to stick around, right?”
“Of course I am,” he replied without hesitation, cradling her beautiful face in his hand. “You're my mate, after all. Where else would I go?”
Elena snorted derisively and rolled her eyes affectionately. “You'd better keep that promise. Tolliver is going to track you to the ends of the earth if you try to run away, you know,” she told him in mock seriousness.
“As he should,” Ryder agreed, smiling faintly up at her. “I wouldn't have it any other way. If you'll have me?”
She answered him with another kiss. Her lips lingered against his as she whispered against his mouth, “Yes.”
For several seconds, they remained frozen in place, basking in each other's embrace. It was liberating, finally letting go of all those barriers and walls that he had built to guard against attachment. A part of him still feared that he was putting her in danger, that he'd screw things up somehow like he always did. Despite all his efforts to convince himself that he alone could handle everything, though, at the end of the day, it had done nothing to keep those he loved out of trouble. He had needed them in the end—and her. He had always needed her.
So, even though he worried, he couldn't stop smiling. He didn't have it in him to keep denying what he felt. She was everything he had ever wanted, and she had gone through hell and back to prove that she could handle whatever came their way. Without question, he belonged by her side. Now, it was time to live up to that responsibility.
“What happened out there?” he asked eventually once they pulled away from each other and caught their breath. He pushed himself up into a seated position and surveyed the ward around them as memories of the battle came rushing back to him. “Is everyone else all right? And Asher, where did he go? Are we—”
“Calm down,” Elena interrupted gently as she placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. “Everyone else is fine. There were some fairly serious wounds, but they've all been treated. The rogues are gone. We don't know exactly where yet, but from what Zach has told me, it seems like they've scattered to the winds.” It wasn't exactly overwhelmingly reassuring news, but it was enough for now. A dozen stray rogues working on their own was infinitely preferable to a fully formed gang of rabid wolves out for blood. “Asher was seen heading east by himself. They're tracking his movements, but Zach wants to talk to you before doing anything drastic. That's all I know.”
Ryder nodded slowly, sinking back down onto the mattress. Staying upright was exhausting, and thinking about all this made his head spin. Once he was fully healed, they would figure out how to best deal with everything. For now, however, he was satisfied with the knowledge that his friends were recovering quickly and that his mate was safe beside him. His hand found hers once more and laced their fingers together. They could work through the rest of it as they went.
“You need to rest,” Elena muttered softly as she brushed aside some stray hairs plastered onto his forehead and kissed the top of his head. “I've got another potion brewed up if you're struggling to relax. Or some run-of-the-mill painkillers if you're in pain, or—”
“You make a very sexy nurse,” Ryder interjected playfully with a lazy smirk, running his fingers across her cheek. “I'm fine, Ellie. I have everything I need right here.”
He patted the empty space on the bed beside him, indicating for her to join him. “I'm at work,” she protested half-heartedly, rolling her eyes at him.
“And I'm your patient,” he countered, “so it's your job to tend to my needs. Now come here.”
With one last glance at the clock on the wall to make sure that no check-ups were due anytime soon, Elena threw her hands up in mock defeat. She slid onto the hospital bed and nestled herself comfortably into his chest, curling up beside him. Ryder wrapped his sore arm around her waist and pulled her close with a contented sigh. She felt wonderful beside him—soft and warm and safe—and she fit perfectly in his arms. They lay entwined on the narrow surface, listening to each other breathe in rhythmic harmony with every pulse of life flowing through his veins.
This was right. He knew this deep in his bones and heart. The rest could wait. Right now, they were together, and that was all that mattered. For the first time in his life, everything was as it should be.