Chapter 8 - Absolute #3
Thankfully, not something we'll have to hash out in my time. Future problems for a future class.
But as far as Ashton's current problem, he hadn't the first clue.
Im not alone
[ Dylan ]:
come to my place then
Oh.
Well, that's…
Oh.
Ill be off work in half an hour
If Ashton went to Dylan's place, what would they… What would he expect?
You know what he'll expect. It's exactly what you'd expect in his shoes.
Could… Did Ashton want that? Beyond the fantasies and the theoretical, that was. Sure, they'd fooled around on the rooftop, but…
It's just sex. You have sex all the time. This shouldn't be a big deal.
But it was.
It shouldn't be. He might not even want it to be. But that didn't change the fact that — to Ashton? It plain and simple just was.
I'm not gay
You're just sitting here on a toilet in the men's room with your pants around your ankles; asshole still tingling from fingering yourself because a guy told you to while you were sexting; ignoring — how many hot women out there on the other side of this wall tonight?
Face it, you like guys.
You like him.
You like what he did to you, with you, for you. And you want more of that.
For him. To him. From him.
[ Dylan ]:
still have your finger in your ass?
NO
Ashton gritted his teeth, face flushing with heat.
[ Dylan ]:
whatever
stop bitching and come over
we can suck each other's cocks
Ashton swallowed harshly.
or you can fuck me
He shifted, trying to work out which…
…which do you want to do more?
He didn't know. He didn't know! He didn't know, which meant it wasn't a no, and that was —
It was completely unacceptable. He couldn't. He couldn't.
no one will know
Ashton's thumb hovered over the keys of his phone for so long. He tipped his head back, squeezed his eyes closed, and —
Tapped the glass.
[SEND]
Where?
His heart was beating fast, but this time it was anxiety and not lust making it run a million miles a minute.
Look, you just… You sent it. Still doesn't mean you're going.
[ Dylan ]:
I can be there in 30 min
Faster, if you've got a car and come pick me up from the computer lab
Ashton was up, dressed, and washing his hands before he knew it; checking his teeth in the mirror before he grabbed another mint. He didn’t have a tab tonight, meaning the only thing left to do was claim his jacket from coat check and have the valet bring his car around.
During the day, campus parking was the tenth circle of hell, a true marvel of the modern age standing as a monument to poor planning.
But here, late at night, when all but the nerdiest of students had left?
It was reasonably empty, offering an oasis of privacy that left Ashton reeling with the realization of just how much of his life — from classes, to meals in Mu Tau Rho's dining room, to even the room he shared with the other guys — was spent hemmed in with other people.
He hadn't thought about it in so many words, but that night on the roof when it'd been just him and Dylan… It'd been just him and Dylan. And that'd been…
Good. It was good.
Turning off the engine, Ashton leaned back in seat as he considered the glowing windows of the computer lab, thumb tapping a staccato pattern on the steering wheel.
If you do this, if you choose this…
There's no going back, is there?
It won't just be some stupid thing you tried once on a lark, on a dare.
It won't just be about the sex, if you do this. It won't be like all your other dates, the women you hook up with in bars.
If you could just walk away like you do with them, then you would've done it already. If you do this, you'll have to admit —
It'll be about —
Him.
Ashton closed his eyes, lips parting at the memory of Dylan's mouth on his. The way it had felt to be shoved up against the wall in the closet, the shock and the heat of that hard body pressed flat against his?
The way Dylan had been so careful with him, there up on the roof. Giving Ashton what he needed, taking away the doubt; checking in so Ashton could check out and just…feel.
A calmness spread through him, unrolling like a carpet. Dylan didn't seem to care if Ashton wore the right clothes or the right shoes, went to the right school or fraternity or clubs. He didn't demand or expect anything of Ashton, other than to show up.
So Ashton would show up.
You may as well; you've come this far already. What, you thought there was ever a chance of backing down?
Ashton snorted, shutting the door of his car, before stopping in his tracks.
He kicked me out. That morning I was being an ass in the lab. And I - I tried to get him in trouble with his boss, and…
And then he took Ashton up to the roof, instead of throwing Ashton back out on his ass again.
Like I probably deserved.
Ashton bit his lip, leaning against his car.
Alright, so… if he kicked me out, then I should stay out. If I want to do this right, I mean. Do it for real. Show him I respect him, that I'm here for more than just…