Chapter 4
Seam: The empty space between two players on the same team … where things get missed.
Stuff block: When you block someone so hard they regret their life choices.
Jess’s heart hammered as she patted her face with a cool towel. “I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
“Yes.” She took a swig of water.
“You signaled you were blocking Vivienne down the line and then you blocked her crosscourt.”
“She was swinging cross. I thought I could get her.”
“Jess.” Tania seemed almost at a loss for words. “That’s not how this works. I can’t dig around your block if you move it.”
Irritation flared in Jess’s gut, mostly because she knew Tania was right. “It’s just—”
“Listen.” The ref blew the whistle to get them back to the game. Tania ignored it. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but Vivienne is just a person. She doesn’t have superpowers, okay? Let’s stick with our game plan.”
“I know. I’m fine.”
Tania sighed. “All right. Let’s go.” They high-fived each other and went back to get ready for Lee’s next serve.
Lee served to Tania, who gave Jess a great pass, then rolled her hit deep to the corner.
Vivienne chased after it and dove, body stretching long. She managed to just catch a piece of the ball, but not enough. The ball glanced off her fist and continued on its way out the back of the court.
They finally had a point.
“Let’s go!” Tania whooped.
“Yes!” Jess cheered. They slapped hands. “Great shot, T.”
The linesperson tossed the ball to Jess for her serve.
Tania nodded at her. “You’ve got this.”
Jess exhaled and smacked the ball logo twice, like she did before every serve. She looked at Vivienne for a second, then at Lee. Both were waiting, hands on their knees. Lee’s visor put her eyes in shade, but Vivienne’s gaze was clear. Vivienne smiled at her, taunting.
Their game plan was to serve to Vivienne anyway, since Lee was a more effective attacker, given her height, but Vivienne was a phenomenal passer, and still a solid attacker, which explained why they had won the league last year and were currently in the top spot.
All Jess and Tania could do on defense was hope Jess cut off most of the court with her block, and Tania dug up the rest.
Jess jump-served, aiming for Vivienne’s right, toying with the out-of-bounds line. Vivienne stepped into it and passed it easily enough to Lee, who set up Vivienne’s attack.
Jess studied Vivienne’s shoulders, expecting her to swing cross but, at the last second, she turned and crushed one down the line, past Jess’s hands and landing on the rope. The crowd cheered along with Vivienne and Lee. 1–6.
“Woo!” Lee high-fived Vivienne with gusto, then smacked her butt. “Sweet hit, bitch!”
The embarrassment swirled in Jess’s gut at the way Vivienne had so easily hit right past her block. Jess sucked in a breath, not quite able to get it into the depths of her lungs. “Sorry,” she muttered to Tania in their huddle. “I’ve got her.”
Tania wiped sand off her legs. “I thought you were blocking her line?”
“I was. I am. I guess I drifted a bit, I don’t know.”
“Just go harder line. I’ll dig the rest.”
“Yeah.” They slapped hands while Vivienne went back to serve.
Vivienne stood at the back line, ball in hand.
Her gold nails glimmered in the light. She tossed the ball high and hammered a jump serve right between Jess and Tania.
Jess took a step toward it, but so did Tania, so she stopped, then so did Tania.
The ball’s velocity tickled the hairs on her arm before it slammed into the sand.
Jess straightened and adjusted her pony. “Fuck. Sorry.”
Tania’s head dropped. “Come on. We know better. You got the seam.”
“Yeah.” Tania was very nicely reminding her that Jess should be the one passing those middle balls, because that meant that she would be the hitter.
It was more basic team play that, for some reason, Jess was completely forgetting.
And now they were down 1–7, the possibility of a comeback quickly slipping out of their hands. Jess’s heart was beating too fast.
On her next serve, Vivienne sent the ball to the same spot.
“Fuck you,” Jess muttered under her breath as she passed it.
She gave Tania a decent ball and got a decent bump set in return.
Jess wound up, loading the spring as she jumped, the sand giving way under her feet, and imagined smashing the ball into Vivienne’s face.
It hit the sand on Vivienne’s side instead.
Almost as good.
“Yes!” Jess pumped her fist.
Tania hugged her. “There you go. Few more of those. We’ve got this, Button.”
Goddamn, a kill felt so good. Not as good as a stuff block, but pretty fucking good.
But Vivienne looked almost bored. It didn’t even faze her. They were still up 2–7. She and Lee slapped hands and turned their backs to the net to have a quick strategy talk.
Jess and Tania gave up the next point and the one after that. They managed to put a few good plays together here and there, but they lost the first set 10–21 … and the second 11–21.
Another loss.
Jess couldn’t bring herself to meet Vivienne’s eyes when they shook hands. She knew it was bad sportsmanship, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t handle whatever she might see there from Vivienne—triumph, derision, contempt, or maybe, even worse, pity.
Tania was quiet after the match as they trudged to the locker room. She didn’t even stop to talk to her family, only offering them a halfhearted wave on their way by. Jess beat herself up for the length of her shower.
“Sorry,” Jess said to Tania when they met again at their lockers.
“Don’t be sorry.” Tania toweled off her legs.
Jess sat on the bench, rivulets of water running down her back. “I don’t know why I got so tense.… I felt like I was panicking every second of that match.”
Tania dug into her locker for her underwear, still avoiding eye contact. “At least we don’t play those two again for a few weeks.”
“Yeah.” Jess’s body was heavy. She couldn’t muster the energy to find her own clothing.
Tania pulled on her top. “And Wednesday is the road trip to Horny Beach. That’ll be fun.” Some of the Sunside teams would be busing to Horn Beach—affectionately nicknamed “Horny Beach,” known for its “what happens on the road, stays on the road” vibes—for league matches next week.
“Yeah.” Maybe the change of scenery would help shake her out of this funk.
Or at least Jess really hoped it would.
After her shift on Tuesday, Jess stopped by Nelson’s apartment. “Hi, sweet puppy.” She tucked Fleming under her chin for a snuggle as he licked her face. “Thanks, Nelson. Hope he wasn’t too much trouble today.”
Nelson waved his hand. “Nah. I got you, girl. And thank you again for the banana bread this morning. It was—” Nelson kissed his fingers.
“You’re welcome. Cookies next week.”
Nelson sighed. “My girlish figure…”
Jess scoffed. “Please. You look amazing.”
Nelson pretended to fluff his nonexistent hair. “I know I do, just wanted to hear you say it.”
“How are things going with your gentleman caller?”
“Oh, you know, you know. A lady must maintain some mystery.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Jess snickered. “Yes, keep your secrets.”
Nelson patted Fleming’s head. “You’re dropping him off again tomorrow morning for the night, right?”
“Yup. At about eight, if that works?”
“Sounds great. I got a shit ton of code to comb through and Fleming is the perfect reason to pry myself away from my keyboard from time to time. Where’s your game?”
“Horn Beach.”
“Horny Beach, hey? You gonna get some?” Apparently, Horn Beach had a reputation that extended beyond the SoCal VL.
Jess laughed. “I wish. Not with these pores.”
Nelson ignored her joke. “As if you couldn’t pull a hottie.”
“The evidence suggests otherwise.” Fleming wiggled enough that Jess had to put him down. “Okay, this guy needs a walk. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“All right, miss. You have a good night, Jess.”
Jess clipped on Fleming’s leash and headed for the stairs, his nails clicking on the cement behind her, then she scooped him up for the trip down.
Mrs. Horowitz was on her way up, flowered blue caftan blowing in the breeze.
“Hello, Mrs. Horowitz,” Jess said, subtly switching Fleming to her other side to keep him farther away from her. It didn’t matter. He started growling.
Mrs. Horowitz glared at him like she wanted to growl, too.
“I’m so sorry. He growls at everyone,” Jess explained for the thousandth time. “It’s just for show, he’s really so sweet.…”
“Mm-hmm,” Mrs. Horowitz muttered as she huffed up the stairs. “That dog…”
Fleming looked up at Jess like it was hilarious, tongue lolling.
“I’m really sorry!” Jess called again to her. Once they got to the bottom, Jess set him down and scolded her pup. “Why you gotta be such a tough guy?”
She swore he would have chuckled, if dogs could do such a thing. Instead, he sniffed the patch of grass at the bottom of the stairs and lifted a leg.
When they got home, Jess gave him a scoop of his favorite kibble, watered her plants, and warmed up some leftover chili for dinner.
She wasn’t huge on cooking, but she sometimes made big-batch dishes, like chili or stew, then froze them in individual portions.
As she stirred, her brain replayed points she’d lost to Vivienne—visions of balls hitting the sand, brushing her fingertips and soaring out of bounds, or ricocheting off her forearms in the wrong direction.
She shook her head and opened her book to read while she ate, to drown out the mistakes of the day.
Once she had packed most of her bag for tomorrow’s trip, Jess looked at the clock. She should probably be heading to bed, but … it wasn’t that late.