Chapter 20 #3
Vivienne stared at the sky, her silence loud and long. Then she spoke, voice flat. “I can’t believe you would even ask me that.”
Jess waited for an answer while her nerves continued to dance. “Did you?”
Vivienne looked at her again, eyes flashing. “Absolutely not, Jess! I already told you, I would never, ever throw a game.”
“So you didn’t miss that last ball on purpose?”
The anger darkening Vivienne’s face faded into disappointment. “You don’t know me at all, do you?”
It echoed in Jess’s head. You don’t know me at all, do you?
Did she know Vivienne? “I … I don’t know. You just looked … happy when we won.”
Vivienne huffed a small laugh. “I was happy, Jess. I was happy for you.”
Jess’s thoughts swirled, trying to make sense of what Vivienne was telling her, trying to sort out how much she did or did not know about Vivienne.
She didn’t know what Vivienne’s parents were like, or her favorite color, or what she liked to eat for breakfast, no.
But did she know if Vivienne was the kind of person who’d throw a game?
If she was the kind of person who might smile for her opponent after a crushing defeat?
Yes, she did know that. “So you…” Jess trailed off, unable to put any thoughts into a sentence.
“You got in my head, okay?” Vivienne fiddled with the blanket. “I second-guessed—and third-guessed myself, if I’m being honest—over and over in that match. You beat me, fair and square.”
Jess studied her face … her beautiful, perfect face.
Vivienne returned the gaze head-on. Her eyes were wide and clear …
deep and dark … and easy to fall into. But there was only honesty in them.
Maybe Jess didn’t know Vivienne well in some ways, but in others …
she very much did. “Okay.” Jess nodded. “I’m sorry, I just had to check. I know you didn’t.”
The tension left Vivienne’s face. “Okay.”
Jess felt warm, even in the ocean breeze. Relaxed in a way she … really never had before. It felt good, to be able to ask such an embarrassing question, and for Vivienne to comfort her and still take her seriously. Really good.
They watched in silence for a few more minutes. The idea of holding Vivienne’s hand crossed Jess’s mind, but she could never actually go for it. “Why can’t you sleep, do you think?”
Vivienne sighed. “Pressure to win, I guess.”
Jess snorted. “You can’t be that worried.”
Vivienne turned her head and shot Jess a look. “What do you mean?”
“You guys are amazing. And you’ve beat us so many times.”
“Well, as we just established, not last time.”
“It’s just … You’re so good.”
Vivienne went up on her elbows. “Are you kidding? Your team is on fire right now. And you’re an amazing player, by the way—the way you see everything happening at the net.… Not to mention, everyone is terrified of your block.”
Jess snorted again.
“They are!”
“You’re not.”
Vivienne wrenched both eyebrows up. “You think I’m not? Haven’t you noticed I almost always roll shot past you?”
“I thought that was just ’cause you’re short.”
Vivienne’s jaw dropped, then she burst out laughing. “I knew you were calling me short!”
The laugh was contagious. A giggle slipped out of Jess, too. “You are kind of short.”
Vivienne gasped and shoved her. “I am not! You’re just tall!”
“That doesn’t make you any less short.”
Vivienne’s peal of laughter was music, in harmony with the stars, brighter than any burning meteor.
Once their giggles quieted, Jess tucked her hair behind her ear. “But for real. Why do you feel so much pressure to win?”
After a few beats of silence, Vivienne sat up and rested her chin on her knee with a sigh. “I have to win or I’m a complete failure.”
Jess sat up, too. “Are you shitting me? In what world are you a failure? You … You’re perfect.”
Vivienne studied Jess a moment before she spoke again. “My brother is a cardiothoracic surgeon and my sister is a world-renowned child psychologist with a bestselling book. I’m a lifeguard who plays volleyball. I am the failure of the family.”
Jess turned her words over in her head and something clicked. Vivienne, a shining star—the billion-year-old kind, not the meteors above pretending to be stars as they flashed and went out—thought she was a failure.
“You are … Vivienne … You’re the most incredible person I know.”
Vivienne rolled her eyes, but her mouth was soft. “Stop.”
“You’re smart, funny, determined, strong … beautiful.…”
Vivienne swung her gaze up to meet Jess’s. “You think I’m beautiful?”
“You … You know you’re gorgeous, all right? And all-around amazing. By any standards.”
“Scarlett—”
“Your sister is great, I’m sure. But you…” The words dried in Jess’s throat.
Vivienne shifted and blinked slowly, eyelashes thick and alluring.
“You’re also great.” Jess’s next inhale was a shudder.
The tension was too much. Her brain told her to run away before she could be rejected, before she could fuck everything up.
Before Vivienne could look at her in disgust and horror, and she’d have to face her on the court tomorrow.
Jess leaned back and cleared her throat.
“But it’s so late. We’d both better get some sleep. ”
Vivienne sighed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
They stood. Jess shook out the blanket for her and handed it over, their fingers touching.
“You want a ride?” Vivienne asked when they got to her car.
The panic welled in Jess’s chest again. “That’s okay. I’ll walk.”
Vivienne still looked sad, though, eyes wide and dark in the shadows, and Jess couldn’t leave her like that.
“You’re great,” she said again as Vivienne opened her door. “Whether you win tomorrow or not.”
“Thank you, Jess. That means a lot to me.… And I need you to know…” Vivienne paused, studying her feet before she looked up with a devious grin. “I am going to win.”
A spark of adrenaline ignited in Jess’s gut. She grinned back. “We’ll see.”