Chapter 45 - Gwen - Bumping into You
Chapter 45
Gwen
As we leave the firehouse hand in hand, whistles and catcalls follow us out. Niall shakes his head at the antics of the members at his firehouse crew.
Now, we’re heading to his home. The house Niall grew up in. Suddenly, I’m full of nerves. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to see the place he’s called home since childhood, but I recognize how important it must be for Niall to share this intimate space with me, the place he shared the last few memories with his mom. Seeing Niall in this house will bring out an aspect of him that I don’t think I’ve seen yet.
Niall leads the way in to his childhood home. Ever the gentleman, he holds the door out for me, allowing me to walk in first.
His home is a charming bungalow-style home, a huge front porch leading into an open concept interior. There are built-in bookshelves on the wall off to the side of the living room holding a myriad of books, pictures, and knickknacks that have been gathered over the years. The house is quaint, with natural wood accents and exposed rafters. Large windows give it a cozy, natural feel.
“This house is adorable,” I say.
“Thanks, not much has changed in it since my childhood except maybe some updated technology and appliances,” he says, standing off to the side with his hands in his pockets as he watches me walk around the room.
I smile at him. “Well, it’s perfect. I especially love all the pictures of you and your mom here,” I say, gesturing to the shelves of framed photos.
He stands next to me and takes a more recent picture of him and his mom off the shelf. “My mam was an amazing woman,” he says. “Losing her was like losing my best friend; she was my everything. Since her passing, I’ve become a shell of myself.”
“I can’t even imagine how hard that had to be,” I say, leaning in to give him a side hug as we both look at the photo.
After setting the picture down on the shelf, Niall walks over to the couch to sit down. I follow and sit next to him.
“Tell me more about her,” I say.
“She was amazing. She loved to cook food for anyone who was in need. She was constantly feeding the neighborhood. She was a very observant woman and wise beyond measure. No matter the problem, my mam would have a solution or the right words to say. And she was brilliant. Never have I met someone who could solve the Wheel of Fortune puzzle so quickly or answer most of the Jeopardy! questions. We’d have weekly picnics at the beach. In the colder months, she’d bring warm Irish potato soup or Dublin Coddle soup. We’d pack it in a thermos and sit wrapped in blankets.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“Maybe this fall when you come up, we can head over to the beach and have ourselves a picnic,” he offers.
“Yes, please. I’d love that.” I smile. “Did your mom ever get to meet Greg and Trent?” I ask.
“She did, many times. I’d tell her I was bringing my mates home for the weekend, and she’d cook up a feast.”
“Oh, I bet Trent loved that. That man can eat.” I laugh, scooting closer to Niall as he pulls a blanket over us.
“He can, but my mam didn’t mind. She loved that I brought home friends and loved cooking for them even more. She’d harp on about how they weren’t eating enough and told them they were welcome to come over anytime.” Niall sighs happily, his expression softening at the memory.
“Seeing your house,” I say, “gives me a glimpse into who she was, and she seems like someone I’d have loved to spend time with.”
“I’d have loved that,” Niall says, then kisses the top of my head.
We lie there on the couch talking, Niall sharing memories of his mom, funny antics from his childhood through college, and life at the firehouse. I look up at another picture of his mom, the woman who raised him to be the man he is today. You’d be proud of him , I tell her.
I nod off during a lull in the conversation, and Niall kisses me lightly.
“Come on sleepyhead, let’s get you to bed,” he teases.
He scoops me up in his arms, blanket included, and I lay my head against his chest. He takes me into his room and lays me on the bed. Moments later, he snuggles in next to me and pulls me in close.
“Sleep well, mo ghrá . I love that you’re here.”
“Me too,” I say before drifting off, safe and warm in his arms.
In the morning, I wake up to the bed empty next to me and the smell of coffee. Niall must’ve gotten up already. I slip out of bed and head to the bathroom. After washing my hands, I splash water on my face in the sink. Something to help wake me up until I’ve had some of that coffee. I turn off the water to hear Niall moving around downstairs. This all feels so domestic, so easy.
That’s how it’s been the whole time with Niall and I—easy. We get along really well. He’s the happy to my grumpy, always trying to make me laugh and succeeding most of the time. He truly cares about me, and that thought makes my heartbeat quicken in my chest. I want to make this long-distance relationship work. I want to be with him, no matter what that means or where we live or who is traveling where.
When I enter the kitchen, Niall is glancing through the mail on the counter while listening to some voicemails on his phone. He’s shirtless with grey sweatpants, and they ride his hips like a model’s.
“Morning,” I say, giving him a peck on the cheek.
“Morning, beautiful,” he says, handing me a steaming mug of coffee.
I take it and slowly sip it while I walk into the other room to look at the pictures on the bookshelves.
Then I recognize Greg’s voice coming from Niall’s phone.
“. . . she seemed so much more herself on the cruise. I’m hoping our little deal did the trick to get her out of her funk. . . .”
What deal? What is Greg talking about? Did Niall tell Greg about our pact, our fake relationship? I walk into the kitchen, closer to Niall. He looks up at me from the island where he is sitting, shock on his face.
“. . . Thank you for not telling her. She’d be furious with me if she knew I’d asked you to spend time with her. . . .”
I can feel the blood drain from my face, while the beating of my heart simultaneously thumps loudly in my ears. I feel as if I’m going to pass out or explode.
Hundreds of memories flash through my mind, from our initial meeting to laser tag, jumping in the water, talking on the balcony, intimate moments between us, and my heart stops beating.
None of it was real.
He was just pretending to like me because Greg asked him to. How ironic when pretending to like me was exactly what I’d asked him to do. No wonder it was so easy for him to agree. He’d already agreed to pretend for Greg.
Niall quickly presses stop on Greg’s voicemail.
“Gwen, I—”
“Don’t say a word!” I snap.
“Listen, mo ghrá , I can explain,” Niall says, reaching for my hand.
I step back and say forcefully, “No.”
Niall stops, worry in his eyes. “Please—”
I hold up my hand to silence him and shake my head. “It was all a game to you. Nothing was real.”
“But it was real.”
“Not based on that voicemail it wasn’t. You just pretended to like me this whole time—for Greg! And I fell for it like some fool.”
“Gwendolyn, it’s not like that—”
“Would you ever had told me Greg asked you to date me if I hadn’t heard his voicemail? You had so many chances to clue me in on the whole charade. But you chose not to because this is all fake, some game to you.”
I swiftly turn my eyes on him, glaring.
“That’s not true.”
“Don’t. Don’t lie to me, Niall. All you’ve done is lie. I heard what Greg said, clear as day. I just can’t believe I fell for your lies. I can’t believe I was blindsided again by, by these secrets.” I say the last word through clenched teeth. I’m angry at myself for trusting that Niall wouldn’t hurt me, wouldn’t keep things from me.
“Gwen, please let me explain. It’s not like that at all. What I feel for you is real. It may have started off—”
“What was the deal with Greg? Was it to stop me from being a workaholic? For your information, I love my job,” I spit out.
“It wasn’t like that,” Niall says. “Greg and Trent both thought—”
“Trent was in on it too?” Now I’m furious. “How many people knew about this favor? Were Margot and Holly in on it also?”
“They didn’t know anything about it. Gwen, please—”
“I’m sick of everyone deciding they know what is best for me. Everyone just needs to get over the fact that I have a successful business. I hate that everyone keeps trying to change me. That they keep things from me, like I can’t handle the truth. You know what . . . I’m done.”
“What are you talking about?” Niall asks, pain evident in his eyes.
“I’m done with us.”
I have to get out of here. I have to leave this place. I hurry to the bedroom to pack my things. Niall didn’t love me for me. He just wanted to change me. And stupidly, I fell for it. I fell for another man who wants to keep me from my job.
With a packed suitcase, I take out my phone and order a rideshare to the airport. From there, I can be home in a few hours. Back where I should be, to the safety and solitude that won’t hurt me. I won’t be made to look like an idiot, not again.
Then I head for the front door.
“Gwen,” says Niall, who had followed me to the door. Tears fill his eyes. “I need you to hear me. It wasn’t like that. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way. I thought we’d grown real feelings for each other so it wouldn’t even matter. A funny story to tell later,” he says.
“Do I look like I’m laughing? No. No part of this was funny. This is so different from the pact we made. No one could have gotten hurt with our pact. But your pact with Greg, how did you think I wouldn’t get hurt by that? I thought I knew you better, but I guess I never knew you at all.”
My phone pings, letting me know that my ride is here. “Well, that’s my ride,” I say.
Niall’s eyes go wide. “Gwen, please don’t go.”
“I won’t deny that we had fun on the cruise,” I say, ignoring his pleas. “And I don’t want to ruin Greg’s post-marriage bliss, so I won’t tell him that I found out about your deal.” The words drip from my mouth with contempt.
“Goodbye, Niall,” I say, then leave through the front door, tears rolling down my cheeks.
The next day, I wake up late, feeling like a freight truck hit me. I glance at my clock and notice it’s one o’clock in the afternoon. My face is puffy from crying myself to sleep. My phone rings, and I flip it over to see Niall is calling. I send him to voicemail, noticing I have four missed calls and nine missed texts from him. I read the most recent text.
Niall
Gwen, please call me, we should talk.
I silence my phone. I can’t do this. I can’t handle the calls and messages right now.
I can’t just sit around all day, because I might be tempted to answer one of his calls or read more of his texts. So, I do what I do best. I take a quick shower, drink some coffee, and head to my office.
The quiet of the office on the weekend and going through next week’s events will help me clear my head of the Irish hottie. No, the Irish liar.
Even though I still have feelings for him, I have to remember that he lied to me. everything was fake, just a favor for my brother. I want to strangle Greg for interfering.
When I had been with Bradley, he had hid his true feelings from me for months. Then hearing that Niall had lied about our entire relationship makes me wonder if he ever had genuine feelings for me. Did he even like me for me? Or was he just spending time with me for my brother’s sake?
How is a relationship supposed to work when one person withholds vital information?
Answer: it doesn’t.
Which is why it can’t work out for Niall and I. And if Niall was lying to me from the start of our relationship, what would that mean for the rest of it? And if you add on the fact that we don’t even live in the same state, it’s too much for me to take.
Shaking my head to clear away unwanted memories and thoughts of the past week, I pull out next week’s contracts to review. I’ll just dedicate my life to my work and making other people’s dreams come true. Having my friends and family will be enough.
I don’t need a man; all they do is cause heartbreak.