Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
AMALIA (PRESENT)
A riot of emotions blasted over me and hit me so fast I could barely identify how his confessions made me feel. I hadn’t felt this much or quite frankly anything aside from numbness, annoyance, or anger in a very long time.
I didn’t know what to do with this resurgence of emotions, whatever they were.
His proximity and the determination in his eyes made my breath falter as I stared at him. I found myself internally battling between pushing him away and telling him I wanted nothing to do with him and just giving him a chance to redeem himself.
I’d spent the major part of the last decade building walls around my heart, creating a refuge within myself to never be hurt again.
I’d buried my feelings and convinced myself that they were no longer there because it was easier to deceive myself that they’d never existed than deal with the pain.
Can’t feel something you convinced your brain didn’t happen.
Only the pain was never expunged. I’d just grown to sort it as an inconvenience.
My heart raced at higher speeds the longer I looked at him on his knees. I could hear the remorse in his words, see the vulnerability in his position. I could feel the sincerity in his pleading eyes.
He made my skin flame ablaze, but him being on his knees was about him letting me know that he was surrendering control, something neither of us was very good at.
I was still so mad at him, but I was just as tired of fighting him. Tired of telling myself that I didn’t miss him, that I didn’t crave him.
I knew that if I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, he would respect my wishes no matter how gutting my decision would render him.
But I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. I’d be lying to both of us if I did. Because truthfully, I still loved him. As livid as I was with him for leaving and not trusting me, my heart still belonged to him.
I loved this man and I was so fucking tired of convincing myself otherwise.
I lowered to my knees and cupped his face in my hands. “Okay,” I said, the word so low I was surprised he’d heard me.
“Okay?” he said, his voice thick with emotions, but despite the hesitation in his tone, he leaned into my touch.
I brought my forehead to his and whispered what we both needed to hear. “This is far from me forgiving you, but I’m tired of pretending I don’t love you.”
He met my gaze hesitantly, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He reached up and placed his palms over mine as if to confirm that mine were truly there. “You do?” he questioned tentatively.
I’d known Noah was different the moment I’d laid eyes on him in that bar. But over the weeks that followed, he’d turned into something more.
From the fleeting glances, to the stolen kisses and touches and the week we’d spent at his place, I’d grown to know that he was it for me.
That despite the frustration he’d always seemed to rile up in me, I knew I’d fallen in love with him.
Completely and irrevocably.
I gave him a small nod. “I love you, Noah,” I told him, my voice a mere whisper.
The words had barely left my lips when I realized I’d never said them to anyone before. Sure, I’d told my sister and brother that I loved them, but the weight they carried as I confessed them to Noah felt… heavier.
I wasn’t the greatest with words and there was a lot more I’d wanted to tell him, but those three little words were the most I could manage right now.
I slid my fingers into his hair and closed the remaining gap between us, pressing my lips to his, the single contact seeming to alter everything in a heartbeat.
Our kisses had always felt different, but this one ignited something I’d kept buried deep inside me for far too long.
This kiss felt all-consuming.
My fingers gripped at the strands at his nape while his arms circled around my waist, his hands tightly gripping my hips.
I gasped as he lifted me off the ground and pulled me onto his lap without ever breaking the kiss. His back was now pressed against the wall and he hugged me closer to his body, pulling me as close to him as possible until not even an inch separated us.
I suddenly became hyper aware of every part of his body pressed against mine. My soft thighs hugging his firm ones on either side, my aching breasts pressing against his hard chest. The length of his thick cock brushing against my craving pussy, just a few unfortunate layers separating us.
Even with us both fully clothed, I felt him everywhere.
Arousal flooded my body, slowly growing desperate for more as his lips moved against mine, teasing, tasting, taking .
I sighed into his mouth as he curled his hand around the back of my neck to deepen the kiss. His tongue teased the seam of my lips, silently asking for permission, and I granted it without hesitation.
The second he slipped his tongue into my mouth, tangling it with my own, I moaned into his mouth as I widened my stance to rub myself along his growing erection, the thin fabric of his linen shorts doing nothing to hide it.
“God, how I’ve missed the way you sound when you’re writhing under my touch,” he panted against my lips as he pulled back to look at me. He only broke our kiss for a brief moment before he returned to devouring my mouth with an ardent fervor, making my entire body erupt in flames.
“And I’ve missed the way you taste,” I moaned, biting down on his bottom lip as his hands roamed over my body, gripping.
I worked my hips faster and Noah grunted in approval, the slight thrust of his hips providing me with the perfect amount of friction and urging me on.
My chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as his lips moved from my mouth, down to my jaw until their path ended at the swell of my breasts. The feel of his stubble rasped against my skin, sending tiny jolts of pleasure down my spine.
His teeth grazed my skin there before he nipped and sucked at it. Then he worked the neck of my top and bra under my breasts to free them.
One of his hands moved to cup one breast, pinching my nipple while his mouth latched onto the other, sucking and twirling his tongue around the hardened peak.
Fuck, I missed this.
I missed him .
“Noah,” I whimpered as he moved his attention to my other breast. My hands gripped tighter on his hair, pulling his face closer and I felt him smile against my skin at the gesture.
Pleasure and need continued sweeping through me as he kept licking and sucking. Then he bit down, hard , my lips parting as I screamed out his name.
“That’s my girl,” he groaned against my skin.
I dragged his head back up and hovered my lips over his mouth. “Your girl needs you,” I whispered with urgency.
The moment the words fell from my lips, he fastened my legs around his waist and stood, holding me in his arms before slamming my back against the wall. His body engulfed mine as he grinded up his erection into me.
I let out a soft whimper and brought my hips forward, wanting more.
We were both breathing hard, my hands fisting the fabric of his shirt, needing for it to be off him.
Shifting, he brought my feet back down to the floor and reached over his head to grab the back collar of his T-shirt, helping me remove it in one fell swoop and throwing it somewhere to the side.
I brushed my lips over his as my hands slid from his shoulders down the expanse of his chest, my nails gliding across his perfectly toned abdomen, marveling at how his muscles tensed and tightened as I moved lower.
I hooked a finger into his shorts and underwear, teasing and reveling in the shudder that traveled down his body. I then slid my hand inside and wrapped it around his cock, squeezing and tugging at it the way I remembered he liked it.
He braced a hand above my head, his other one gripping my waist as he jerked forward. “ Amalia ,” he choked out.
I basked in the sound of him being at the mercy of my touch. “I love when you call out my name like that,” I said against his lips, toying with him.
His head fell onto my shoulder and he whimpered, the vibration reverberating against my skin and sending another wave of pleasure pooling down to my core.
I ghosted my lips to his ear. “I love the feel of you in my hands,” I whispered before biting and tugging at his earlobe.
My words were barely out when I felt the hand at my waist suddenly gone. I barely had time to register what he was doing when he swiftly unfastened the button of my pants and pushed his hand between my thighs.
I sucked in a sharp breath, my hand on his cock halting in its movements.
“Oh, my—” My head fell backward against the wall as he effortlessly slipped two fingers down my drenched pussy slowly, teasingly.
He let out a satisfied sound and his cock twitched in my hand. “Look at you being so wet and I’ve barely touched you,” he praised, resting his forehead against mine, his fingers teasing my entrance and drawing a moan from me.
He pressed a brief kiss to my lips at the sound, like a reward for still reacting to his touch like no time had passed.
“Look at me, pretty girl,” he ordered and the moment I met his gaze, he stopped his teasing touches and pushed his two fingers hard into my cunt.
“ Fuck me ,” I gasped, my hand growing lax around his cock and slipping out of his shorts.
“Patience, Amalia. That’ll come soon enough.” He chuckled, pleased with himself as he drove his fingers in and out of me, his thumb joining and pressing against my clit.
I would usually be annoyed with his taunting, but with the feel of his fingers inside me, I barely could think straight to remember to breathe, let alone try to retaliate.
Instead, I gripped his shoulder with one hand, wrapping the other around his wrist, and started rocking against his hand. “Noah, please ,” I moaned.
He hummed in approval as he drove his fingers into me even harder, his thumb firmly stroking my clit. “Now, take my fingers like the good fucking girl you are and drench my hand. Understood?”
I nodded and rode his hand faster, my orgasm creeping up my body. He must have known because he slammed his lips to mine and crooked his fingers inside of me, sending me over the edge.
My eyes fluttered closed to relish in the release of years of pent-up need as my cunt clamped down on him.
My lips parted on a moan and he slid his tongue inside, kissing me softly as he still pumped his fingers inside me, matching the way his tongue tangled with mine.
His fingers were still inside me when I opened my eyes and settled my dazed expression on him. For a moment, we both stood still and stared at each other.
Him watching me come down from my high while I let myself drown in the desire in his eyes.
Still holding my gaze, he moved his fingers out of me and lifted them between us. “What a pretty fucking sight,” he growled before smearing my wetness against my bottom lip.
Then he leaned forward and sucked it into his mouth. His eyes slid shut as a groan tore through his chest before he let my bottom lip go and straightened himself, his gaze meeting mine again.
His irises turned black. A dark hunger I’d never seen before had taken over.
“Bedroom. Now.”