Chapter 52
BECKHAM
My dad went to work, even though we were told by the court that I essentially had to be babysat twenty-four hours a day. He said not to take things too seriously, that no one would come checking on me, since he’s powerful and all that.
I don’t bother leaving the house. Where would I go, anyway? Sage is dead, my brothers hate me, and I burned down the one place I’ve always gone to when I needed clarity.
I decide to spend the day in bed, wearing a pair of Vinny’s sweatpants that he left at my house, my chest bare.
I consider slitting my wrists, but I think I want to see how this all plays out, and I want to get the chance to apologize to Sage’s family.
I owe them that. I owe Kai and Vinny my apologies too, but I know that I need to give them time to grieve before I approach them.
As far as grieving goes, I don’t think I will. I lost so much in the flash of my eyes that I can’t feel a fucking thing anymore. I haven’t been able to cry since I got home from the police station. My entire body and soul just feel numb.
I’m on my seventh episode of some show about storage units when my doorbell rings. Pausing the TV, I swing my legs over the side of my bed to get up. As I walk through the house, I half hope it’s the cops coming to make sure I’m abiding by all my rules so they can drag me to jail after all.
The cold of early January hits my face as I pull open the front door, and I find Vinny and Kai standing there, both in black hoodies.
My mouth falls open a fraction, a small gasp squeezing through my lips. I take a breath in, studying both of their faces and reading the anger and devastation etched into their skin. The air feels sharp and ragged as I finally speak.
“Hi.”
Kai pushes through the door, shoving me backwards as he and Vinny both step into the house, the door shutting loudly behind them.
I stumble back, catching myself before I fall. “What the fuck?”
Kai grabs me by the shoulders. “Let’s talk.”
Pushing his chest, I try to get him to step away from me, but his face twists with a pleased smile as I struggle to get away.
“Talk, then,” I growl, my cheeks heating. I haven’t had a chance to get angry about all this yet, and part of me wonders if Kai is here to pull that reaction from me—like maybe, deep down, he’s doing me a favor.
I find Kai’s eyes, so dark but so tired, and he smiles from ear to ear before he pushes me down onto the couch. “Oh, not me. I have nothing to say to you, murderer.”
Vinny steps into my line of sight then, like a scared little mouse coming out from behind the big, bad wolf, and I shake my head at him. “What is it, V?”
His teeth smash together, his jaw going tight enough that the vein in his neck bulges out. “You destroyed everything, Beckham.”
“I know,” I breathe, looking up at him from the couch, tears filling my eyes.
He looks so fucking sad, like there’s nothing but a dead soul behind his exhausted eyes, and it makes me want to die all over again.
If I’m the reason Vinny feels like this, I don’t deserve to be left breathing at the end.
His strong hand goes around my throat then, and he uses the hold to lift me up until I’m in the right position for him to punch me across the face. I grunt, my head snapping to the side as heat spreads through my cheek.
“You fucking destroyed everything,” he growls, then he punches me again.
I cry out this time, swallowing hard around the hold he has on my throat. “I’m sorry.”
He punches me again, and again, and again, until he notices there’s blood coating his knuckles, then he drops the hold he has on me and takes a step back.
“Don’t stop,” I say, crying, wiping the blood from my nose and lip as I stand up. “Keep going, I deserve it.”
Vinny’s eyes find mine, emeralds that I looked into during the best moments of my life, now empty, and I feel a sob clawing up my throat. I swallow down the noise before I can show both of them that I’m broken, then I take a step toward Vinny.
“Hit me again, V.”
He clenches his jaw tighter, then storms toward me and throws his fist again. Grunting, I fly back down onto the couch, putting a hand to my bloody nose. “Vinny.”
Climbing on top of me, his knees go to either side of my ribcage on the couch as he hits me across the face again, my blood spraying onto the upholstery. “Fuck.”
I smile at him, because I can feel the blood covering my teeth, and his green eyes flare as he looks down at me. That's when I feel it—he’s hard.
Running my tongue over my teeth, I let my lips pull up at the sides a little higher. “You like seeing me like this? Covered in fucking blood?”
As the realization hits him that I’ve noticed he’s turned on, his face curls into disgust, and he grabs my face in his big hand, squeezing my jaw. He spits on my face, “Fuck you.”
I smile, his saliva dripping down my cheek. Malice in my words, I spit right back. “I know you want to, baby.”
Before he can react, I punch him across the face, knocking him off balance so he falls to the floor. I hear him swear under his breath as he catches himself, and I sit up to look at him. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
Kai laughs, and I’d almost forgotten he was here, standing in the corner like some lurking fucking gargoyle.
“What the fuck do you guys want? Huh?” I bark, standing up and moving away from them, the blood dripping from my nose and mouth, making it hard to breathe. “Just get the fuck out and leave me alone.”
Kai takes a slow step closer, like a lion teasing their prey. “Careful, Becks.”
I chuckle, spitting on the floor as the taste of blood becomes overwhelming, and then I look at Vinny. “Is this what you want? To hurt me? Kill me? Teach me a lesson? Well, lesson fucking learned, V, I mean nothing to you anymore. Now fucking leave!”
“That’s the lesson you think I want to give you?” Vinny sneers, standing up and prowling toward me, his face a mask of hate that makes my stomach dip.
Before I can answer him, he’s grabbing me again, slamming me against the wall and pressing against my back.
His dick is still hard in his pants, and a small twinge of panic runs through me when a desperate, angry whisper slivers from between his lips.
“No, Beckham, that isn’t the lesson I want you to fucking learn. ”
I feel him twist as he holds me, then he calls for Kai to come over. “Hold him down.”
As I wriggle in his arms, fear settles in my gut that I haven’t felt in a long time, one that tells me he’s unhinged, that this isn’t really him, that I need to get far away from whatever Kaiden-shaped monster is inside my soulmate before he does something he regrets. Something he can’t take back.
“Vinny,” I say, struggling against him as Kai comes over and puts himself on top of me, then they’re dragging me back over to the couch, my arms bent behind my back like they were the other day when I got arrested, totally at their mercy, left with no defense to get away.
As I’m shoved down on the couch, I feel Kaiden hold me in place, using my arms to keep me pinned against the upholstery that smells like detergent and old smoke, then he’s laughing, his voice unrecognizable. “Teach him a fucking lesson since he really wants one, Vinny.”
Vinny chuckles, my sweet and caring and handsome love, and it feels foreign and far away, then he’s yanking my sweatpants down to my knees, my boxers following soon after.
I shout, “Vinny!”
He doesn’t say anything, but I can hear how heavily he’s breathing as he puts himself behind me, then I hear his zipper sliding down before he frees himself from his pants.
“Why don’t you at least use some of the fucking blood to lube yourself up, Vin, huh?!” I scream, desperate, angry, hating him. “This is what you want?! Me scared of you? Hating you?!”
He spits on my asshole, then pushes inside, making me scream as pain slices through me.
“Yeah,” he says softly, his voice tired. “This is what I fucking want, B.”
I feel the tears rolling down my face before I even realize I’m crying, then my body is turning numb as he thrusts into me, his hips hitting my ass punishingly. Biting down on my lip, I refuse to give him any more satisfaction than he’s already getting.
Kai is still on top of me, his weight holding down my chest and my arms as Vinny fucks into me from behind, and I let every muscle in my body fall lax in an effort to relieve some of the pain.
I know I deserve it, though, every ounce of pain they can give me, because I took everything they loved. I destroyed the lives they had.
So as the man I love thrusts into me from behind, and the brother I would give my life for holds me down as punishment, I press my eyes closed and take it.