7. Confessions
Confessions
Connor
F uck.
“This is a lot to take in.” I exhale.
Jamie hangs his head. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, I swear. Then Keene started arguing with our plan to date her together, and I got sidetracked.”
“You’re something else, dude.” Keene laughs, his expression hard to read. “Way to use me as an excuse for not revealing that huge bombshell.”
Jamie insists. “I would never lie to Connor, or to you. The only reason why we didn’t tell you from the get go, is that we knew how you felt about Bex moving in. We were worried that if you knew our relationship was fake…”
“What?” Keene’s tone is hurt. “You thought we would have ratted you out? Did you really think we would have let you risk your spot on the team and maybe expulsion?”
“No, it wasn’t that.” Jamie explains. “It was more a case of plausible deniability. If you didn’t know the truth, you wouldn’t be caught in our lie if Bex and I couldn’t sell our relationship.”
I consider his words. “I guess I understand. I must admit that at first, I couldn’t believe how fast you two had fallen for each other. I thought it was just a hookup. But the more I saw you together, the more I believed there was something between you.”
“Pretending to love Bex was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. And I’m not that good an actor. The truth is that the more I do it, the more real it gets. At least for me.”
Keene’s next words surprise me. “I think it’s real for her, too.”
“I hope so,” Jamie says.
Seeing my friend like this is something I’m not used to. Jamie has always been confident, almost cocky, in his ability to seduce any woman he set his eyes upon.
“Believe me,” Keene insists. “There’s nothing fake in the way Bex cares about you.
I’ve always been great at reading people’s body language.
Some of the training I’ve had with the military made it almost second nature.
Bex trusts you, Jamie. And the way she lights up when you enter a room isn’t something she could fake. ”
Is that a touch of jealousy I can detect in Keene’s voice? I play devil’s advocate to find out. “You always say that lying is in every woman’s nature. Couldn’t Bex be lying?”
“Not about that. It’s written all over her face.
It’s in the way her voice softens when she talks to Jamie, in the way she’s always touching him.
Some reactions are visceral and can’t be faked.
It’s the same way I know that she hates me.
It’s written all over her face.” Keene is definitely jealous, and Jamie picks up on that too.
“If that’s what you think, then you aren’t as good as you say you are at reading people’s non-verbal cues.” Jamie argues.
Keene reacts with an eye roll. “That’s bullshit. We might have agreed on a truce, but it’s as clear as day that Bex hates me. I can’t even blame her. I’ve been a grade A asshole to her from the moment we met.”
A slow smile spreads across Jamie’s face. “And why is that? Because you hate all women? I haven’t seen you act like that with Candace and the other Zetas, or with any girls who talk to you at a party.”
When Keene doesn’t say anything, Jamie charges on.
“Do you want to know what I think? I think you behave like that with Bex because you’re attracted to her and it scares you.”
“Bull fucking shit.” Keene snorts. “I act like that because she’s annoying and I’m done with women. Especially pretty ones.”
Jamie’s smile widens. “Or, it’s because you hate how much you like her. You don’t want to risk getting burned again, but you can’t stay away from her. So you challenge her and act like a douche just for the sake of talking to her. And before you deny it, you just called her pretty.”
“Oh, come on!” Keene’s laugh is fraught with nerves. “That Bex is pretty is a pure fact. The only way we can coexist is to ignore her. Tell him, Con.”
Now that I think about it, I think Jamie is onto something.
“Sorry, buddy. Your eyes are always on her when she isn’t aware that you’re looking at her. You’ve had plenty of opportunities to hook up at every party we’ve been to so far, but you’ve ignored every offer. I’ve seen you being indifferent, and that isn’t how you act with Bex.”
Keene tries to distract us with irony. “Well fuck. Look who’s a perfect candidate for the position of wingman.”
I call his bluff. “Really? Are you telling me that you’re going to find a hookup at tonight’s party?”
Keene and I have become pretty close since he joined us at summer training, so I know that look on his face as he answers my question.
“Yeah, it’s about time.”
He looks as excited at the prospect of a hookup as if he were going to the dentist.
Maybe Keene isn’t the only asshole in our midst, though. Because this? It’s really funny.
“Great.” I slap him on the back. “Then I’ll be your wingman.”
“Yay.” His eyes roll so far back that it must hurt. But it’s his tone that gives him away. He sounds really deflated.
I offer him a way out. “Or… you could admit that you want Bex and I’ll leave you alone.”
“I…”
Just when I thought he would finally admit that he’s as hot for our roommate as me and Jamie, he nods.
“Fine. As long as you two quit pestering me with these crazy ideas of a four-way relationship.”
Maybe I’m crazy. Or maybe, like Keene said before, all the times I’ve hit my head in my hockey career so far have scrambled my brain. The matter is that I’m oddly disappointed that Keene refuses to admit that he’s interested in Bex.
In the past few months, I’ve come to consider Jamie and Keene more like brothers than teammates. If the night with Bex and Jamie was hot, I can only imagine how it would be if we added Keene to the mix.
The craziest thing is that fucking her together isn’t even what excites me the most in a hypothetical scenario where we’d all been dating Bex.
I’m an only child. My relationship with my dad has always revolved around hockey.
I’m grateful to my father for helping me develop my talent.
But my dad’s demands for complete focus left no room for friendships outside the rink.
Our sole objective was making it into the NHL, like my father did.
I didn’t realize how lonely I was until I moved in with Jamie, Keene, and Luke.
They filled a void I didn’t even know existed, and they helped me get over my ex’s betrayal.
I know we’ll be friends forever, no matter where our careers take us. But part of me knows that life has a way of creating distance between friends and even brothers. Once each of us finds love and has their own family, priorities will change.
But if we fell for the same woman and didn’t ask her to choose, we would never have to grow apart.
“It’s time to get ready to go to the arena, guys.” Jamie’s warning pulls me out of my reveries. “We better show up on time or Coach will cut our balls off. He hates tardiness on any day, but on game day it’s pretty much a capital offense.”
“I don’t blame Coach Harrison.” Keene shrugs. “Punctuality is the bare minimum in any professional environment. Tardiness costs money, and in certain situations, it can even cost lives. What?” he glares when he sees the smiles on mine and Jamie’s faces.
“Nothing.” I chuckle. “What’s that saying? You can take a guy out of the army, but you can’t take the army…”
Keene flips us off, but he’s struggling to stay serious. “Fuck you both. You know I’m right. I would love to see the two of you having threesomes without your balls.”
“You’re right. Let’s get ready to kick some UCLA ass tonight.” Jamie says, giving Keene’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. “And then we’ll put those balls to good use. All three of us.”
Keene shrugs him off, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. You’ll be my wingmen. I got the message.”
“Helping you choose the perfect girl to rock your world will be fun,” Jamie winks. “Unless you decide to admit your feelings for Bex.”
Keene doesn’t dignify him with an answer. “See you in twenty minutes. Might as well ride together.”
“I think he’s delusional.” I tell Jamie once Keene disappears into his room.
“So delusional.” Jamie chuckles. “But we planted a seed today. Maybe he’s going to accept that he has feelings for Bex and stop fighting the attraction between them.”
I consider Jamie’s words. “I hope so. The tension between them is as clear as day.”
“Nothing that cannot be solved by getting a room.” Jamie says. “And you should take the same advice, Con. I’ve seen the way you and Bex look at each other.”
There’s no point in denying it. “I know. I’m still a little nervous, though. If this were just about sex, it would be easy. But if I let myself care and she hurt me…”
“She won’t.”
I wish I had Jamie’s confidence. “I’m still a little nervous about letting someone in after Fiona.”
“I’m going to be by your side every step of the way. You’ve got this. We have got this. I know we can make Bex happy, Con. And we can keep her safe.”
I nod. “Yeah. At least on that, we’re all on the same page. Keene included. But we better stop yapping about feelings and go get ready or we’ll really be late to the arena.”
He stops me as I’m about to close my door.
“Con?”
I meet his gaze. “Yeah?”
“I know you want to be with Bex just as much as I do, but can I ask you something?”
I think I know what he wants. “Shoot.”
“Can you make sure I get some time alone with Bex tonight? I need to break up with her as my fake girlfriend and ask her to date me for real.”
“Sure. I have a wingman job to do anyway tonight.” I grin. “We’ll see how serious Keene is about getting laid.”
Jamie smiles back at me. “That should be fun. But, Con? Thank you. I promise next time you want to be alone with her, you’ll get dibs.”
Dibs. I’d be lying if I said that opening my heart again isn’t scary. I’m never afraid to take a hit on the ice, but when I think about how much damage Bex could do if she hurt me, Keene’s denial looks like the safest option.
As I put on the suit that Coach expects us to wear before every game, I tell myself that I’ve got this.