12. Down And Dirty #2
My boyfriend sighs. “Fuck my life. Then why did you hook up with her the night of the game? Why did you say that you want to date her whether I am in the picture or not?”
“Because I want to. But… I don’t know. When we hooked up, I told myself that as long as I didn’t kiss her on the lips, she wouldn’t be able to hurt me.”
For some reason, I actually get it. But I have no idea how to show Connor that he can trust me.
“Ok. You two clearly need some help.” Jamie takes my hand and turns to look at Connor. “Come with us, Pretty Woman. Let’s go to Bex’s room, just in case Keene comes home.”
I have no idea what Jamie has in mind, but I trust him completely, so I follow him without question.
Despite his many hangups, Connor must feel the same way, because he’s hot on our heels.
Jamie locks my bedroom door with a soft snick. “I missed you, baby.”
His lips find mine, and I melt against him. Jamie Hart isn’t just the epitome of hot and seductive; he makes me feel loved, safe and secure.
A low rumble coming from behind me reminds me that we aren’t alone, though.
I turn to look at Connor, who’s watching us intently.
Slut.
Kurt’s voice echoes in my ears again, dark and hurtful like on the night before our wedding. When he punished me for giving myself to him. For trusting him.
Back then, part of me had believed him. My father had brainwashed us enough to fear any touch, any demonstration of physical affection.
I realize now that I was caught in a vicious circle where I craved that love, I craved to be touched; but at the same time, I thought I didn’t deserve it.
Not until my father was pleased with me, not until I had ten million followers. Not until I was a superstar.
Now I know none of that was true.
I deserve to love and be loved. And there’s nothing wrong with having feelings for these two men. I’ve opened my heart to them, and I’m being truthful and vulnerable. A slut would lie and cheat. She would carry on with both of them in secret, toying with their feelings. I want none of that.
I want Jamie and Connor to feel that their hearts are as safe with me as mine is with them.
“You look so sexy in your business clothes.” Jamie murmurs, dragging his lips down the column of my neck. “I wanted to come to your first class today, but I didn’t think you wanted your boyfriend there, pretending to paint with the biggest hard-on on campus.”
A giggle escapes my lips at his words. “That would have been quite funny. But you can come to my workshop anytime. I was nervous today, and having you there would have made me feel better.”
Jamie begins unbuttoning my blouse with deft fingers. “Then I’ll try to come to one of the next ones. And I’ll try to be on my best behavior. Even though I don’t have one artistic bone in my body.”
That, for some reason, makes me think about Keene. “Art isn’t just about skills and technique. Those can be learned. It’s all about letting what you have inside take shape and express it without holding back.”
He slides my blouse down my arms. “Then it’s like love and attraction. That’s what I feel for you right now, baby. And I want to express those feelings by using my body to make you feel good.”
I nod. “That’s a form of art, too.”
Jamie unclasps my bra, throwing it on the floor. My skirt follows, and I’m left in my lace and silk panties.
“Fuck, Bex. You’re so beautiful. Turn around, please.”
I do as I’m told, and I’m met by blazing green eyes. Connor’s gaze skims down the length of my body, and I can almost feel it like a caress.
“Oh my God.” I pant when Jamie torments the aching points of my nipples with his slightly rough fingers.
“Bex is like a beautiful, perfect canvas, Con.” He says, licking his way down my neck and biting the spot at the base of my collarbone. “And we can make her come alive with our mouths, our hands, and our cocks.”
A pained noise leaves Connor’s mouth. “Jesus.”
He reaches me in two short strides, but freezes short of touching me when Jamie stops him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Jamie challenges his best friend.
A crease appears between Connor’s blond eyebrows. “You just said?—”
“Didn’t you hear what Bex just said? Art is about expressing your feelings.
As long as you keep yours bottled up inside, I’m sorry but you don’t deserve to touch our girl.
I know you’ve been hurt, Con. But this thing between us can only work if you’re all in.
Until then, I have to protect Bex’s heart and mine from the same hurt you’re worried about. This is love, not a game.”
Connor’s hands clench into fists. “I understand that.”
“Then look at us, Connor. You get to watch, but you don’t get to touch. Watch and think about it. Do you trust that we’ll never hurt you?”
Jamie’s hands leave my body to take care of his t-shirt and sweatpants with swift, practiced moves. I can’t see him, but I can feel the heat of his skin when he pulls me against him.
“You’re so soft, baby.” He murmurs in my ear.
His hands travel down the outer lines of my arms, closing around my waist.
“Jamie.” I moan when his hard shaft presses against the backs of my thighs.
“Can you feel how hard you make me, Bex?”
My voice comes out as a deep rasp. “I love how hard you are.”
“I’m dying to be inside you, baby.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” I encourage him.
Jamie doesn’t make me ask twice. I feel the blunt head of his erection press against my entrance, and I move slightly to the side, leaning against the footboard of my bed to give him better access.
He sinks inside me easily, his hands on my hips keeping me steady, his chest flush with my back.
“Fuck, Bex. You’re so tight, so wet.” His breath fans over my ear, but I know he’s looking at Connor. “I’m falling for you, baby.”
I turn my head to meet his dark blue gaze. “I’m falling for you too, Jamie.”
This is as close to saying ‘I love you’ as we’ve ever come. I know we’ve known each other for just a matter of weeks, but I have no doubts about my feelings for Jamie.
And despite his doubts, when I look at Connor, I know I feel the same way.
Jamie begins grinding his hips, staying deep inside me. The skin on skin contact makes me hot all over. I feel safe and loved with his arms banded around my waist, keeping me as close as two people can ever get.
My eyes, however, are on Connor as he lowers himself onto the plush chair between the nightstand and the window.
The blond defenseman is watching me and Jamie, his eyes dark with lust and an obvious bulge in his slacks.
The corded muscles in Connor’s forearms are tense on the arms of the chair, but he doesn’t move. The only sign that he didn’t turn into ice is the rising and falling of his powerful chest.
“What do you think, huh, Con?” Jamie grinds out. “Do you like the way I’m fucking Bex? Can you imagine how good she feels?”
Connor’s response is a pained groan as his hands clutch the armrests of the chair with white-knuckle force.
“Look, baby.” Jamie coos in my ear. “You make him hard, too.”
It’s my turn to moan. The sensation from Jamie’s movements inside me is heightened by the sight of beautiful, stoic Connor.
“Con, would you like to do something about the problem in your pants?”
“Fuck yeah.” Is Connor’s strangled response.
Jamie’s lips and teeth play with my earlobe as he whispers a question. “It’s up to you, baby. What do you say? Can Connor fuck his own fist while he watches you come on my cock?”
My entire body throbs with need at just the idea, and I nod. “Yes.”
I can’t see Jamie’s satisfied smile, but I can hear it in his voice. “Go on, Con. Our girl has given you permission.”
I watch as Connor frees his thick, long erection from his pants, and my mouth waters.
“Take all your clothes off.” I demand.
His perfect naked body has been living rent free in my head since the night of the Bridgeport game. I’m not shy about how much I want him, and I let my eyes rove all over his smooth skin, stopping where his fingers close around the base of his shaft.
My inner muscles clench around Jamie, and we both groan.
“Are you close, baby? Is watching Connor going to push you over the edge?”
I nod as the throbbing in my clit intensifies with every breath. It feels so good that it almost hurts.
“I’ve got you, baby.”
Jamie keeps one arm banded around my waist to support me, but finds my clit with the other hand.
He pinches my most sensitive spot between two fingers, rubbing them slightly together in a scissoring motion.
I cry out, the pleasure so intense that my whole body trembles uncontrollably. But I’m safe in Jamie’s arms, secure that he’s never going to let me fall.
“Fuck, baby.” He pulses inside me, the first warm spurt of his release spilling inside me. “I’m coming too.”
Jamie holds me tight as we ride our highs, and for a moment, I almost forget that we’re not alone.
But as my skin is still tingling with the aftershocks of one of the most powerful orgasms I’ve ever experienced, I can feel Connor’s eyes on me.
His fist is still closed around his shaft. His movements are slow and deliberate, from base to tip in a hypnotic rhythm.
“Are you going to be ok if I let you go, baby?” Jamie asks.
My knees feel a little wobbly, but I can stand. “I’ll be ok.”
As he withdraws from me, Jamie turns me around to kiss me.
“I love you.” He says it so softly that only I can hear him.
I’m about to say it back, but Jamie swallows it with a kiss.
“Jamie.” I murmur when his lips leave mine.
“I know, baby. I know you feel it too.”
“I do.”
His smile is pure happiness, and for one moment my heart is so full that I think it could burst.
“Oh, what is that?” My eyes stop on his shaft, still fully hard.
A few white creamy patches are visible on his skin. “Did you make a little mess?”
“That isn’t my mess, baby. That’s all you. You came so hard that you got your cum all over me.”
“I’m sorry.” I’m slightly embarrassed that I did that. I had no idea that I could do that.