Chapter 11
No. No! He was fucking seeing things.
But he knew he wasn’t.
“Hawke?” Everly reached for him, her touch on his arm both timid and fleeting.
Hawke rolled off the bed and found his pants. He pulled them on with trembling hands, not bothering to fasten them. Balling his fists to stop the damn shaking, his chin fell to his chest.
What the hell did he just do?
He should just walk the fuck out and never look back.
But he couldn’t do that. No matter who or what Everly was, she hadn’t tricked him on purpose.
Her emotions for him were pure. He knew it with every fiber in his being.
Because he could feel them, volleying back and forth, now amplified by a bazillion, thanks to her blood in his system.
What just happened was no one’s fault but his own.
A streetlight came on outside, adding more illumination and breaking him out of his reverie.
Something glinted in the corner by the door.
Hawke peered closer. It was a thin, gold chain draped into the design of another bohemian-like tapestry covering her wall.
He looked around her room. Really looked this time.
Gold hung everywhere. On the walls. From the door handles.
Draped around the mirror above her dresser.
Between that and the bright colors, he felt like he was inside a sultan’s jewelry box.
How had he missed it?
Because he’d been too caught up in his physical reaction to her and not thinking, that’s fucking why.
“Hawke?” She touched his arm again, and his body reacted despite all the reasons why it shouldn’t. Why it can’t. Not again.
He stepped out of her reach and covered his face with his hands.
“Stupid. Stupid! I’m a fucking idiot!” And he was.
The signs had all been there. The lack of fear any normal human would have when confronted with a vampire.
The way he couldn’t read her thoughts or influence her mind.
Her penchant for gold and bright colors…
He’d once known someone else whose room was nearly identical to this one. But it had been a long time since he’d seen her, and he’d almost forgotten—Kohl’s mother.
Kohl’s dragon-born mother.
Kohl’s mother who would’ve been executed for breaking the laws and mating with a vampire, if she hadn’t brought with her something the Master had desperately wanted—Kohl. The dragon/vampire crossbreed miraculously born from the union of sin. He was the only reason she’d been allowed to live.
But Everly was deaf. Supernatural creatures did not have disabilities as a rule. It was physically impossible.
Everly pulled his hands away from his face. Her expression was panicked. “Hawke, please talk to me. I don’t know what’s happening here.” She watched his mouth, eagerly waiting for words of reassurance he couldn’t bring himself to say.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” The question was asked through gritted teeth. Because she didn’t know, you idiot.
“What?” She frowned, shaking her head slightly. “Please speak clearly. I didn’t understand. What?”
Hawke took a deep breath and unclenched his jaw. He asked her again, though he already knew the answer. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
“What you are.”
The words weren’t so much spoken as growled in her direction. But she must’ve gotten the meaning clear enough, for tears filled her eyes. She took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. She was wearing his shirt.
A rush of possessiveness filled him. So strong, he could barely comprehend her next words.
“What? Is this some kind of male vampire bullshit because I’m not a virgin or something?
I’m not a fucking whore.” Her chin rose and she somehow managed to look down her nose at him from her shorter height.
“And even if I was, you have no right to judge me for it. Not when guys have been fucking anything with two legs for…forever and get nothing but a pat on the back and told what a stud they are.”
“What?” It was Hawke’s turn to be confused. “No. No. That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Some of the steel slid from her backbone. “Then what?”
As he studied her face, one tear slid down her cheek, followed quickly by another. She ignored them, didn’t acknowledge what she was feeling in any way. Her entire focus was on Hawke, waiting for him to make it better.
She didn’t know. He understood this to be true all the way down to his bones. Impossible, you would think. And yet there it was.
It didn’t change what he now needed to do. But he could give her as much of an explanation as he could. She deserved that much. He already knew the answer, but still felt the need to ask, “Everly, do you know why Parasupe has your brother?”
A blast of renewed sorrow hit him so hard it took his breath away. Finally, she swiped at her eyes and looked straight at him. “No. I have no idea. I’d only just found him myself when he up and disappeared.”
“Was he lost?”
The sarcasm was lost on her. “Sort of.” She sighed and walked around him to sit on the bed.
Hawke turned to face her but didn’t join her. There were way better things they could be doing on that bed than talking.
Her fingers twisted in her lap, and she said nothing for a few minutes.
But he had all the patience in the world, because he knew once they left this room, this apartment, things would never be the same between them again.
So, he waited, drinking in every detail until she looked up at him and began to talk.
“We were separated at birth and both grew up in foster care. I would’ve never known about him except for these weird memories—daydreams?
—I’d always had of being around a baby. Later I found out I’m actually older by two years, and those memories weren’t just my imagination.
” A wistful smile softened her features.
“I remember the way his face would get all wrinkled up when he’d cry and peeking at him through the bars of his crib when he was sleeping.
” The smile fell. “But that’s about it. Until I started looking into it, I never even knew if they were real or just the creation of a lonely kid who’d always wanted a sibling. ”
“You grew up in foster homes?”
“Yeah.”
Her tone and the careful set of her expression told him a lot about her experiences in the system. “How did you find him?”
“I have some connections, thanks to my job. I got a hold of a copy of the records from when I was first put into foster care.” She gave him a smile that took his breath.
“I was right. There were two of us.” The smile slipped from her face.
“We were in the first home together for about a year, and then we got separated and lost track of each other.”
Hawke studied her closely, processing every emotion that now ran through his blood. She was telling him the truth. “Do you know who your birth parents are?”
She shook her head. “No. There was only ‘Jane and John Doe’ on the records I found. I don’t even know if they were alive or dead when the state got a hold of us.”
He wanted to ask her more about growing up in foster care.
Were her foster parents good to her? Was someone there to help her with her homework?
Did they feed her well? Provide for her?
Help her deal with her differences? Did they learn to sign?
Or did they raise her like any hearing child and that’s how she became so good at speaking and reading lips?
But he quashed the urge. That information wasn’t important right now.
He went to sit beside her, and she twisted around to face him, bending one leg on the bed.
He caught a flash of the heaven between her legs just before she pushed the tails of his shirt down to cover herself and he had to clear his throat.
It shouldn’t be possible, but he wanted her again.
“Everly, I have to tell you something.” Because there was no way he could not tell her. She deserved that much, at least.
“What? You’re married?” Her tone was teasing, but her eyes were worried. “That would really suck, being that you live so long. Or do you have an open marriage? It would make sense.” All the fun fell from her face. “Do you live forever? Is that true?”
Hawke huffed out a breath, something between a laugh and a sound of impatience. “Yes. I’ll live a really long time, provided no one chops off my head or rips my heart out of my chest.” And so will she. “No. I’m not married. Never have been.”
“Do vampires even get married?”
“Sometimes. Not normally to each other.”
“Why not?”
“Because vampires need human blood”—or shifter blood, as they are more human than vampires—“to survive.”
“Oh.” She dropped her eyes to her hands where they twisted in her lap.
He dipped his head to catch her attention. “I have to tell you something about your brother, and about you.”
She must have noticed the tension gnawing at his shoulders, for the steel was back in her spine and little worry lines appeared between her brows. “What would you know about my brother, or me, for that matter, that I don’t already know?”
He ignored her defensive tone. Words jumbled on his tongue until he heaved a sigh and decided the easiest way would just be to show her.
So, he got up and went rummaging around in her bathroom until he found a little hand-held mirror.
Returning to the bed, he hooked a hand behind her neck and brought her in for a kiss.
He meant it to be quick, just enough to re-awaken the passion in her.
But his body betrayed him, and by the time he pulled away, they were both fighting for breath.
At least he’d managed to awaken the beast inside of her. Hawke held up the mirror to her face.
At first, she kept her burning eyes on him, on his mouth, ignoring the evidence right in front of her, until he indicated for her to look in the mirror with a nod of his head.