Chapter Fifteen #2
The drums begin a more dynamic tune, and my heart constricts when the page reads from the sacred parchment recounting the history of the Guardian’s Vow, a lyrical string of words extolling the meaningful role an Imperial Guard takes when they promise to protect those of us afforded the Grand title—the Philosopher and myself, deemed essential to the Empire.
My muscles twitch with the stress of waiting for the identity of the sorcerer who will live beside me until one of us should meet our demise to be revealed.
I cannot do this. I need my wards in place if I am meant to make it through any more of this while standing upright.
I tug on those walls, yet the harder I pull, the more they refuse to engage.
I trace the outline of every sorcerer in the seats on high and release a sigh when there is still no sign of Varic.
Fearing what might happen should he be made to bear witness to the atrocities the Emperor commands I participate in, knowing he will overreact and enact even more dire consequences.
He wasn’t made to follow me through these gray stone walls for what will feel like eternity.
He needs the modicum of freedom given to those who lead our Imperial Army.
The page nears the end of his speech, bringing us closer to the moment His Majesty’s selection for my Lead Guard will be revealed, while no other sorcerer present is in possession of anything resembling Hendry’s strength in force magic.
General Fah, in the north, could be a contender.
Though I cannot imagine the Emperor selecting him—not when Varic is an option.
Roy looks to me with sympathy as the page takes a scroll tied with a neat black ribbon before bowing to our Emperor, and my heart lurches the moment thousands of citizens pivot to catch a glimpse of the sorcerer standing in the center of the arched doorway.
Heat crawls from the center of my chest as my ribs expand with the sense of admiration someone in the crowd must be sending me, too focused on the outline of the sorcerer to notice at first how the deep amber color means only one thing.
Because the form moving toward me owns a gait I’ve long since memorized.
One which brings tears to my lashes from the confidence and speed in his step, almost as if he is rushing toward me—something which I might delight in were we free to be who we are to each other.
Not entrapped in these roles where we must pretend we are anything else.
In another life, perhaps.
However, in this one, I need him to turn back.
The urge to rush down the stairs and shove him out through those doors, to command that he shield himself as he needs to escape and take his chances in the forest, which may prove safest. Wishing it were possible to go with him.
To grasp his hand and tug him back, asking him to shield both of us as we run away to create the life I pretend is real every time my mind drifts off to the places it has created which are much safer than this.
I need to wake up and find this is all just a terrible nightmare. Because this can’t be happening. This cannot be real. There is no outcome my mind can conjure where we both come out of this alive and well.
“I fucking hate being right,” Fray whispers. “I fucking knew we’d be fucked.”
“Like there was any way he wouldn’t be appointed,” Lars says, keeping his voice low.
“If the Elder Dragons hadn’t—” Fray starts.
“They know what is to come in ways we cannot,” Malin says under his breath.
I stare over at the Emperor, who preens while I try to understand his reasoning for prioritizing my safety over that of our Empire, since Varic is said to be responsible for why we have not lost control of our border to Minacia.
My Guards do not have to be the most powerful, yet the Imperial Army requires his skills.
The third most powerful sorcerer in force magic would be more than enough for my detail.
Even Roy, whom he sent to protect me overnight, would suffice were he to come to this realization and reconsider his appointment of Varic.
“Hush. Think of how she must feel,” Cirrin says quietly.
“I am thinking of how she must be feeling,” Fray whispers back.
“We will manage,” Malin says. “We always do.”
Defeat drops to my stomach as the occupants in every pew project their exaltations as Varic passes by them, adding to the cacophony of gasps and murmurs while those he has yet to walk by crane their necks to gawk at the sorcerer complicating everything.
His Majesty beams with pride, excitement, and satisfaction—all emotions my magic detects, with his honored guests validating his decision with their cheers.
Yet no relief emanates from his lack of need for my magical intervention.
Instead, my insides vibrate like the ground when a Dragon exits their den, increasing the heat of Varic’s attention rising from my chest to settle beneath my cheeks.
Pain pricks where the tips of my fingernails pierce the tender flesh in the center of my palm—the only thing keeping me from collapsing the moment Varic looks up from the bottom of the stairs, wearing the same ceremonial leathers as my Guards, looking like he belongs here, next to me.
Though not in the way any of us would have ever wished.
Plumes of smoke swirl around his squared shoulders, adding to the nightmarish scene, emitting a woodsy scent from the incense burning inside the gold Dragon heads adorning the railings’ ends.
He takes the first stair in stride, his impossibly bright brown eyes finding mine with an expression I can only describe as cautious elation, and my breath hitches as I cannot seem to look away from him.
The sorcerer intended to be my new Imperial Lead Guard.
The one I helped to save. The one I dream every night of running away with.
Of having the freedom to choose an easier life with—the one I cannot ignore whenever he exists anywhere near my being.
The one I cannot imagine being cursed to watch me suffer, as he subtly smiles while climbing the stairs where he will make a vow, forcing him to be subjected to a type of torment he could never guess.
“Imperial citizens,” Emperor Aldritch projects while a hush falls over the audience.
“I have appointed General Varic Euclid, the last known Anomaly and the strongest force sorcerer on the Continent, to the role of Imperial Lead Guard, where he will protect and defend our Imperial Grand Witch Tasch.”