Chapter Sixty-Two
Riding
Prince Auden’s smile exudes the kind of carefree exhilaration only experienced by those with immeasurable privilege. Even still, my stomach twists with the conflict of needing to lead this seemingly good-natured sorcerer into believing my interest in him is anything aside from forced compliance.
The Prince strides to stand by my side. “Thank you for agreeing to go for a ride with me.”
My stomach turns worse while I curtsy. “Thank you for honoring me with an invitation.”
Heat spreads from the center of my chest as Varic’s stare never seems to relent.
Varic’s shield pulses over my skin as the Prince leans closer. “We do not have to go far if you are uncomfortable—”
“We will ride as far as you like, Your Royal Highness.”
“Please, call me Auden.” His voice is cheerful as he leads the way around the immaculate horse stables.
I nod when his gaze lands on me, though I will not be following this command. Because if his intent is to make me feel more his equal, enforcing me to comply with a command he has issued only separates us further.
Ripples dance across the plush verdant lawn, and the breeze billows between each perfect row of trees, enrapturing me with the motion until Lars pauses once we reach the edge of the clearing.
Stable hands in crisp blue uniforms stand beside ten different horses—the exact number needed for the Prince and me to go for a ride—which seems ridiculous, aside from six of them being for me and my Guards alone.
Prince Auden tips his chin to me before striding over to his white gelding.
My Guards follow as I greet Filly, who awaits just beside the Prince’s horse.
Lars shudders, despite having replaced his fears with calm and trust on our way over.
His blue eyes dart around the ground, and I reach with my magic to pull every thread of worry and apprehension from his chest before imbuing him with a sense of serenity, since calm wasn’t strong enough. I add in trust, hoping it helps.
Malin locks eyes with him and seems to share a secret message before Lars turns to the horse he is meant to ride, this time without trembling.
Fray moves closer to act as support, and my eyes flick over to Varic before I grasp hold of the horn.
Heat builds in my cheeks at the memory of how it felt to have Varic’s hands wrapped around my waist as he helped me up to climb on this same saddle earlier—though with the ease at which I mount the horse, it seems I never required that level of assistance from him in the first place.
I lower myself onto the saddle without issue and wedge the toe of my boot into the opposite stirrup as Fray shares a quick smile before turning to mount his horse beside me.
I turn just as Varic’s gaze darts forward from where he sits atop a brown mare on my right.
The smile on my lips remains as I turn to face His Royal Highness, making it seem as if the expression has anything to do with him.
He mirrors my expression, and guilt slithers through my gut at using my feelings for Varic to trick the crowned Prince into believing he wields anywhere near the same influence.
“See this patch of trees here?” Prince Auden points to a cluster of trees with low-hanging branches and thin green leaves that reach for the ground—much like the one outside my suite’s window.
Though the trees are lush and beautiful, I have yet to feel the call to explore them in the same way I experience from the pines outside the Imperial Palace.
“This is where my friend, Bran, and I would hide from my Guards when we were young.”
My smile is genuine as he seems to recall a time when this happened, while I can only imagine what it must have been like to have whimsy and friendship in childhood.
“So many memories are held within this soil. Every moment we did our best to hold in our laughter so as not to be caught.” The Prince’s laugh spills from him so naturally, a twinge of envy stabs like a knife to my heart.
“Go on then, tell me a similar story from your own childhood.” The Prince juts his shoulder in my direction. Doom encroaches, forcing me to choose between telling him the truth or lying when he continues, “I can just imagine you getting into mischief.”
This assumption of his makes my mind up for me, with the urge to correct him feeling so strong, nothing could stop it. “I apologize, Your Royal High—”
“Just Auden, please.” Heat hits my cheeks with shame swirling behind each of the pink splotches.
“I apologize, as I must disappoint you, for I do not have a similar story to share.”
His shocked expression conjures a laugh to form, though I swallow it down before it is heard.
“I find it hard to believe that you and your friends didn’t cause any trouble in your youth.”
“There was little time to develop friendships, due to my status as an Anomaly being determined shortly after I began my first year of schooling. And since I was the only witch with this distinction, the Emperor required that I train with a mentor and live in the Imperial Palace. From that moment, I had the duty to serve my Empire without time to spare for such things as friendship or frivolity.”
“What about your maid?”
Fury descends like a torrential downpour drenching me after a drought, as every emotion connected to Drusilla’s most egregious betrayal infiltrates my veins to the point my hands shake so hard I tighten my fists to keep from slapping the leather reins against the pommel.
“My assigned attendant, Drusilla.” A familiar coolness enters my tone, indicating she is near. “A witch who takes her role seriously, and who would never entertain any sort of kinship, especially not with me.”
“I would think the witch closest to you would soon become your confidant.” Prince Auden’s gaze flicks over to Varic. “Since otherwise you are surrounded by sorcerers.”
“If you truly wish to know why we are not close, I will tell you.” He tips his chin in assent.
“There was a time I had hoped my relationship with Drusilla could become friendly. I was young and na?ve and gossiping with one of my original Guards.” The Prince raises his eyebrows in confusion, so I explain, “One who was assigned prior to me turning eighteen, when the Guardian’s vow could be made, as it eventually was by those protecting me now.
” I pull in a breath and allow my eyes to wander, needing something to keep my mind from drifting too far as I trace over the shapes in the garden.
“As I was saying, Drusilla was preparing me for bed when I recounted what I had overheard some Imperial servants in the laundry service whisper about a rebel group forming along our southernmost border.”
Prince Auden nods in encouragement, his hazel eyes conveying their rapt attention.
“The next day, Emperor Aldritch ordered their execution.” I withhold the whole truth, as learning it was me who dealt their death blow would surely erode his sympathy for me.
Something warm, pained, and inherently Varic draws me back toward him. My vision clears until his pinched expression stares back at me with concern and sympathy.
But I don’t need his pity. If anything, I need him to ignore me.
Prince Auden’s eyes are unfocused, yet somehow aware. “He made you witness their execution when you were only a teenager.”
I nod and pull in a breath as the Prince shakes his head. “I am so sorry.”
A sharp sensation permeates my sternum at his casual expression of compassion.
“I appreciate your sincerity. However, I am not the one in need of sympathy when the witches who did nothing to warrant their own deaths have yet to be mourned properly.”
“My apology is for pressuring you to speak of such things, as I am apparently unaware of the level of cruelty you have endured, and I would not have asked you to do so had I known.” The Prince’s eyes pin mine.
Since I cannot think of what to say, I try to relate.
“I do not blame you. I did not recognize the power of my words, nor was I aware of how Drusilla was assigned to me as a spy. Though, in hindsight, it is obvious. Unfortunately, I tend to learn most lessons in the hardest of ways.” The Prince smiles at my ardent expression of self-deprecation.
“For example, I was curious about the history of our Empire and wondered whether or not witches had ever been sanctioned to learn any other form of our inborn magic, like our sorcerers. I shared this query with my mentor as Drusilla arrived to collect me. The next day I learned the Emperor banned me from studying anything without his approval, after which he kept me from accessing much of the information my peers were given.”
The Prince remains silent as he stares down at the ground while we sit atop our horses, who sniff the dirt and turn to watch as birds flit around us. After another moment passes, the Prince looks to me with sorrow reflected.
“I hope you recognize you were not the one to cause their demise.”
“I knew the Emperor well enough to know the danger in disclosing such information. I was careless in my excitement at there being a group trying to overthrow him, and I sincerely wish I had thought not to mention it in Drusilla’s presence.”
“The worst thing you did that day was act like any other witch your age.”
“With the responsibility of protecting our citizens, which I failed in that day.”
His hazel eyes study me, seemingly perplexed as his brows draw in at the center. “I am astounded by how you can endure so much hardship and recount a tragic memory with such a calm demeanor.”
“You have so astutely described the act of emotional suppression,” Varic says, with no attempt at hiding the derision.
“Something Imperial Grand Witch Tasch has needed to utilize with alarming regularity in order to survive this long, Your Royal Highness.” He tips his head as the Prince stares back with an indecipherable expression before his eyes return to mine.
“I was simply admiring your ability to maintain decorum while recounting the event with such vivid detail.”