Chapter Seventy-Eight #2
Sparks scatter everywhere his open palm glides, continuing up and over my ass while I pant and gasp. “Says the sorcerer who is usually so concerned with my safety, yet just so happens to be taking his time securing my body as we fly over the craggy edges of a rocky mountain.”
He pauses all movement. “Are you accusing me of exercising poor judgment?”
“Merely mentioning how you are acting out of character now that you have me alone for only the second time since we’ve met. When the first time was when you rode with your lap pressed against my ass on the back of this same Dragon.”
Varic’s breath sends loose tendrils dancing around the nape of my neck. “Do you wish for me to quit—”
“No,” I say, with more resolution than intended.
“So, you want me to continue—”
“Yes,” I cut him off again, wishing we were somewhere much more private. “However, at the rate you’re going, we will arrive at the balcony before you ever secure us.”
“Not with Minea flying the long way.”
I turn and squint at the jagged gray of the mountain melding with the greenery growing from its crevices.
“Cirrin and Fray went the short way, behind the Emperor and his Guards, while Malin and Lars are following at a distance behind us.” He traces his fingers up the subtle slope of my lower back.
They flex as they graze me until they press in, bracing my body closer to lock his arm across my shoulders.
The heavy thump of his heart proves how he is just as affected by this as I am, before his opposite hand begins its descent.
I pull in a sharp breath as the sparks scatter along my skin, feeling wholly unprepared for him to repeat this surprisingly sensual process.
My heart slams as his palm presses into the curve of my back to cast down and over the swell of my hip. He halts and releases a breath before dragging his hand lower, calluses catching as they painstakingly carve a path around the curve of my ass.
I shudder as Varic’s breath matches my own, prompting him to tighten his grip while lingering there longer than necessary.
His throat bobs against my temple as he grabs hold of the underside of my thigh, and I groan from the pressure when his fingertips bite into my flesh.
He drags his fingers over my skin while a thousand tiny sparks ignite from the reverence he imparts on me—the kind I’ve only ever dreamed of receiving.
My heart quirks with the feel of his cheek rising in a smirk as he slips his fingers within the crook of my knee. I flex the muscle braced beneath his grip, teasing him with a widening grin as Varic merely shakes his head while pressing in—
Except this time he doesn’t relent. “Is this what you want from me, Tasch?”
I nod as he grabs me harder, and groan with a burst of something pleasurable building in my core, consuming my thoughts the longer he sustains this act of dominance, pinning me in place as he awaits my compliance.
“I’m giving you what you want. Now will you give me what I need?
” The rasp of his voice and the choice of his words are all meant to ply me—to entice me into bending to his will with every pulse he presses into my flesh.
“Is that all you need from me, Varic?” I ask, unsure of my purpose.
A pained whimper exits his lips. “No.”
My core responds before my mind can, positively throbbing with need for him, when I lose all resolve and relent, allowing him to guide my leg around where I brace it tightly behind his back.
Every muscle in my body quakes as his fingers trail their way back in torturous slow motion—branding me with searing heat everywhere his palm drags along the smooth surface of the leathers.
Until both of his arms secure me in position as I straddle his lap with my arms wound around his neck.
And I can’t help but wish we had the freedom outside of this situation for more contact like this.
Varic must mentally communicate our progress to Minea as he says nothing aloud before the Dragon slowly rises—placing too much force on Varic’s legs as he grunts.
“I need to lie you on your back.” His words are factual. Logical. The obvious next step after he’s secured me around him. And yet, terror courses through my veins so intensely, I vehemently shake my head in dissent.
Apparently misunderstanding, he leans in. “I’m going to help you lie down so I can strap your arms in—”
All sound ceases, and my vision closes in.
It’s freezing, and my stomach churns with acid, feeling as if it’s eating itself.
My throat is so parched, I can’t even attempt to swallow.
Fear prickles, and my heart barely throbs in my chest.
“Tasch?” Varic’s voice intones from somewhere outside of myself.
But I’m not there right now. I’m trapped. Caged. No hope for escape.
The pain in every joint and muscle feels as if I am being seared from within. My breath hitches when I pry my eyes open to a darkened room.
“What is it?” Varic asks from afar.
The amber glow of Varic’s magic surrounds my wrists. And my heart sinks the moment I notice its purpose—protecting my skin from the metal shackles locked around each of my extremities.
“I’m here,” Varic whispers as we lurch back, finally feeling something outside of this awful memory. “I have you, mei waella. I won’t let you go. You’re my world, and I have you. I promise.”
Tears flow down my cheeks as the metal chains clink.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Tasch. I think I know what this is. Because it happens to me, too. I know this terror, and I hate seeing you enduring it.” His voice is still distant. Floating.
I lift my shaky hands to my neck and clench my eyes closed, forcing more tears to fall as my fingers curl around the metal collar.
“I will be here, and I will hold you while your mind tries to convince you otherwise. But you are here. You are in my arms where you belong. And I am going to keep talking until you come back to me, because you are so fucking strong, and you can do this, Tasch.” His words feel closer, almost as if he’s saying them in the strange room where I’m chained to the wall.
“You are going to come out of this terrible memory of one more thing you have survived. Because that is what you do, mei meida. You live through all that the Emperor forces you to endure. Because you care—you care so fucking much about citizens you have never met. You take your role so seriously—much more than I wish you would, because selfishly, I want to tear you away and save you from this.”
A sharp intake of breath stings my lungs, and I feel him everywhere—his warmth, his muscles tensing as he rocks me, helping me to come out of this terrible flashback with gentle words and motion.
Bringing me back from another time when he was there to support me through what would otherwise have been just another tragic part of my history.
I pull in a breath of his warm spice scent, his skin emitting the nutmeg and clove fragrance. The smell of him—as he rocks me back and forth. I turn into the curve of his neck, and he shudders when the tips of my lashes brush his skin.
But then he groans—because fuck. The leg strap wasn’t meant to maintain this position.
“We don’t have to lie down. Minea can keep coasting. I can hold you like this.”
I release a breath and wish I could say that I’m ready.
But I’m not, and I hate myself for putting him through this kind of pain, all from the irrational fear of being restrained.
When this is Varic—the one who would never harm me.
The one who is willing to let the strap cut into his leg because he needs to make sure I feel safe, regardless of the cost to him or his body.
Yet I can’t lie back. Not yet. I’m too fucking scared.
“I’m here. It’s me, Tasch. I’ll be with you the whole time, however we ride. I’m here, and I’m with you. Whatever you need, mei meida.”
My shoulder rises as I try to stave off the tickling sensation from his breath while I steady my own.
I am here, with Varic. I am not in that room. No one can see us.
The Emperor won’t know what we’ve done.
Varic will never secure himself without me. I can do this to ensure his safety.
“I trust you,” I say, voice breaking.
“Oh thank fuck.”
I let out a laugh.
“I didn’t mean—” He stops talking when I press back against his hold to look up at him.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Varic.”
“No, but—”
“Stop.” I raise my brows for emphasis. “You helped me to come out of a terrible memory. Now, will you please allow me to express my gratitude?” I snake my arms around his back, hugging him close as I lift my mouth to his ear and whisper, “Thank you.”
“I should be the one thanking you for forgiving my carelessness, as well as for putting your trust in me afterward.”
My cheeks wobble with the small smile curving up my lips. “Thanks accepted.”
“I will hold on to you the whole time, and I can brace your hands in mine, if that will help you to feel any safer.” His voice is gentle, caring—loving—as I nod.
I shiver when his fingertips glide around my arm to pry my hand from his back and bring it around to the side.
My mouth clamps shut and I hold in a gasp when the tips of his fingers course up the center of my palm, caressing the skin in encouragement as he moves my fingers apart.
Then my breath hitches when he threads his own between them before closing his fist to secure our contact.
“Like this.” He squeezes four times, bringing more tears to my eyes as he claims me in that mysterious way of his.
Minea decreases his speed to hover as Varic takes hold of the belt meant to go around his torso, loosening it to fit around both of our bodies while bracing me with his wrists.
Finally satisfied with the length of the leather, he leans forward and shifts the way he supports my back, maintaining our closeness as he guides my spine to lie against the black leather.