Chapter 08
“Let me grab my stuff, and I’ll be out of your hair.”
Maya’s voice is still echoing in my head when she pushes my hand away. I see the flash of hurt in her eyes before she turns on her heels and strides off. Fuck. I’ve gone too far. I know it.
But how can I fix this? Do I want to fix this? It’s easier to let her go. No more questions, no more risks. Just clean work. The Chief will yell— might even bench me for a couple of weeks— but it would be normal again.
So why does it feel so wrong?
“Maya,” I blurt out and push off the wall to catch up with her.
She doesn’t stop walking, doesn’t even turn around. Not until I put my hand on her shoulder and make her. Her lips are a tight line, her hands are trembling, and her breathing is shallow. I really fucked up.
“Sorry.”
I whisper, as if my mouth is not used to apologizing. I feel my cheeks burn. Great.
“I got a bit…” I pause, searching for the word.
“Carried away?” Maya offers, her eyes softening.
“I was going to say overly passionate,” I murmur.
She huffs at that and suddenly the tightly coiled feeling in my chest eases. I breathe in and grab her wrist.
“Don’t leave. Come, sit with me as I push paperwork.”
She nods, making a strand of hair fall in front of her eyes. I suppress the urge to brush it away. The fuck, Gonzales?
“We need to have a serious talk, though.”
I look at her, all business now. She is my responsibility now. Her safety is my top priority, so no more running around.
“Okay?” She offers, a bit insecure— still raw and cautious.
“You can’t keep ignoring my commands, Maya. You are putting yourself in danger.”
She quirks an eyebrow at me.
“By following you for paperwork? What kind of danger would that be, Elena? Death by boredom?”
I groan— partially to hide my chuckle— and roll my eyes at her. She grins and the tension finally leaves her face.
“I need you safe, do you understand?”
“Elena, I’m a grown…”
“No.” I quickly raise my hand. “That argument doesn’t hold up. I am responsible for you. When I am out there, I need to focus on my job, Maya. If I am worried about you, I can make the wrong call. That kind of distraction gets people killed.”
She frowns. For a moment I fear she’ll take it personally, but then she nods. There is something in her eyes that tells me she understands. Actually understands.
“I didn’t realize. Elena, I only wanted to help.”
She reaches for my hand, but stops herself right before touching it. Her eyes are pleading. Why do I feel the urge to reassure her?
“I know. And at some point, you will.”
What the fuck? Why did I just say that? But the way her eyes light up—
“Let’s go. Let’s file that report before the next call comes in.”
***
I toss my backpack on the floor, kick off my shoes, and make a straight line for my couch. Three fucking fires in one day. I am exhausted and stink of smoke, but I’m too tired to shower. It will come later.
As soon as my back hits the soft cushions, my mind drifts to Maya. She must have had a horrible day. Why was I so cruel? Because she gets under your skin. The thought comes up quick. Sharp.
“Fuck!” I groan aloud. “How did she already get in my head?”
My fist slams the couch and I squeeze my eyes shut. No woman has ever had this effect on me before. It must be guilt. Guilt for freezing her out like that. For the hurt in those blue eyes. I press the palms of my hands against my eyes. The way she looked at me…
Frustration flames up in my core and I push off the couch. I pace up and down my small living room, practically burning holes in the floor. Why does it bother me so much? I don’t care what other people think of me.
You care what she thinks. I’ve only known her for one day.
“Geesh, Gonzales, get a fucking grip,” I snarl at myself as I sit down again.
There is a dull throb behind my eyes. Great. A tension headache. How can I get rid of this pent-up frustration? The gym. A quick workout should balance me right out.
Just as I get up, again, my phone chimes. Shit. As I grab it, I pray silently that it isn’t the station. I can’t handle being called in again after today. But when I glance at the screen, I see an unknown number. My thumb swipes over it to open the message.
19:04 Maya Carter –
Hey Elena, it’s Maya. The Chief gave me your number. I hope you don’t mind. Can we talk?
I stare at the message for two minutes. The Chief gave her my number. So now I can’t get away from her even in the privacy of my own home. Do you want to? What?
My thoughts tumble over each other. If I want to apologize, this is my chance. The image of how hurt she looked flashes before my eyes again. Fine.
19:07 E. Gonzales –
Good evening. Yes, sure. Not a problem.
My thumb hovers over the keyboard, wondering if I should call her or something. But before I can ask, the three bubbles indicating that Maya is typing pop up. My eyes are glued to the screen.
19:09 Maya Carter –
I appreciate that. Tnx!
Listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot and… well… I was hoping that maybe we can have a do-over?
It’s probably a stupid question, but will you think about it?
I can practically hear her stammering the words— her voice high-pitched, fast, insecure. Since when did you get so perceptive?
I blink at the screen until it goes black. Then I blink again. She is waiting for your answer, moron. Shit, of course. I unlock my phone again and start typing.
19:12 E. Gonzales –
Not stupid at all. I haven’t been on my best behavior. A do-over sounds… good.
19:12 Maya Carter –
Seriously? You mean it?
19:13 E. Gonzales –
Would I say it if I didn’t?
Tell me what you need.
I hesitate for a brief moment, but then I type again.
19:13 E. Gonzales –
Please.
I stare at my screen again, seeing the bubbles come up. Vanishing. Coming up again. Wasn’t this what she wanted? What she needed? I reread my text. I was polite, friendly even. I’m not a total monster. Although Maya might have a different opinion of me right now.
Before my thoughts can spiral, my phone chimes again.
19:15 Maya Carter –
Knowing you, probably not.
Can we meet a bit earlier tomorrow? Have that chat where we get to know each other better? Doesn’t have to be at the station. There is a great coffee place nearby, a ten-minute walk tops.
My treat.
I hesitate. Taking this outside of the station might get messy. Lines will blur. But then again, the Chief ordered me to be open. Being in a less… professional setting might help with that. Uh-huh. I feel the muscle in my jaw tighten. Fuck it.
19:16 E. Gonzales –
Text me the location. Meet me there at 8:30.
19:17 Maya Carter –
Thank you!
She follows up with a pinned Maps location. Oh, it’s the place right down the street. Fernandes made me go there once or twice when she felt particularly girly. Good coffee, nice view. Could be worse. Yeah, there will be a nice view, alright. Really?
I grunt once more and head toward the bathroom. Clearly, I need a cold shower instead of a workout.
***
I’m still in my civies when I enter the coffee shop. It just opened and there are only two other people inside. My eyes roam the menu above the register. Not that it will change my order.
“Can I help you?” the barista asks, cheery.
I suppress a grunt. It’s barely 8:30.
“Coffee. Black.”
“Right away, ma’am. For here or to go?”
“For here.”
The woman lifts one eyebrow so quickly that I almost miss it. Then she smiles, all happy and polite.
“Please, find yourself a seat.”
My eyes sweep over the small room and settle on a corner spot near the window. It is private. Good. I am not in the mood to be overheard.
I’ve just sat down when Maya enters. I glance at my watch. 08:33. Late. She waves at me, her face bright and sunny. Fuck. Already forgiven.
After she orders something at the counter that I didn’t catch, she strolls over and sits in the chair opposite me.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” I reply. My voice is suddenly deep and gruff.
“Thank you, Elena. I am so glad you agreed to this.”
Her eyes study me. Is she looking for a reaction? I shrug casually. Before either of us can say anything, the server stands next to us.
“One coffee, black,” she emphasizes with a wink, “and a caramel latte. If there is anything else you want, just let me know. Enjoy.”
Caramel latte, really? What an insult to coffee.
Maya is still looking at me, watching me intensely.
“W…what?”
I murmur my question as I let my hand glide over my face. Do I have something there?
“You seem to disapprove of my choice,” she smiles smugly at me.
Her eyes sparkle as she tilts her chin toward her cup. She’s testing you. I feel the corners of my lips tug.
“I do. That stuff is diabetes in a cup.”
“Let me guess. If you could have an IV-drip with pure caffeine, you’d take it.”
“It’s only logical.”
She raises an eyebrow.
“Logical how?”
“Well,” I muse, “the dosage is more effective for a start. And it gives you freedom to move around.”
She snorts at that and shakes her head.
“So does a paper cup, Elena. And tasting it makes it so much more pleasurable, doesn’t it?”
Her voice comes out playful and sultry. The innuendo makes me bite my lip. Her eyes widen for a moment, and crimson creeps up her neck. Wait, what? I should look away. So, why am I holding her stare and smirking?
“You win this round, Carter. I love a soft, velvety taste on my tongue.”
Her eyebrows shoot up as I return the quip. Very professional. I grin as the crimson spreads across her face, though. Cute. Very fucking cute.
“So, what do you want to know?”