Chapter 15
I hold my breath until Elena and the boy break through the surface of the water. A smile is starting to break through before I notice he isn’t breathing. He isn’t moving. His face is slick from all the water, and his hair is plastered to his pale, grayish skin.
No. Not again. No, no, no. Everything inside me freezes.
Elena yells something and moves over the tiny body. That fragile boy, resting in her arms. Please, God, no.
Tears spring to my eyes and I feel my body freeze up.
My hand is still touching the rope, like El instructed, but only because letting go now means losing touch with reality.
I am in Barcelona, in the sewers, with the fire department.
There is a sound of rushing water. Water. In his tiny lungs. Filling his body.
Somewhere in the distance I feel myself shaking, but I can’t seem to stop. The crew is moving around me, pulling at the rope.
The rope that holds his body—blue and gray, swollen.
With lips an odd shade of white. Skin torn and ruptured from where the water burst out of the cells.
His head lolling back with his thick tongue slipping out.
No, no. Stop. He’s safe. You are not there.
You are in Barcelona, in the sewers with the crew.
My knees buckle and I feel my body slide to the ground.
Rosa glances over her shoulder, but then looks forward again.
At least, I think that’s what she did. I can’t move.
My hands hit the slick algae on the wall, and slip even further.
I know I should shudder. This place is probably ridden with illness and disease hidden in the murky water.
Elena is down there, submerged in it. Her body floating through it as if she were weightless in space.
Fingers and feet hanging down, as she bobs through the water.
Her eyes open but unseeing. Water flowing through her lungs, as if it were any other passage.
Dead. Stop it, Maya. Elena is safe. You are not there.
I am safe. I am in Barcelona. I am not there.
My body feels cold and distant, like I can’t quite reach myself.
I curl inward on the wet ground, shivering like a maniac.
There are loud voices and I slowly turn my head to the side.
Elena. Why is she here? She is holding a boy in her arms and placing him on the ground. He is crying. Why is he crying?
“Maya?” Rosa’s face appears in front of me. “Hey, guapa, can you look at me?”
I blink once, then twice, and then nod slowly. The kid is crying because he is safe. Elena is safe. You are not there. You are in Barcelona, in the sewers with the crew. Everyone is safe. I am safe.
Before I can glance over at Elena and the boy, Rosa’s gloved hand catches me. She shakes her head, and then lowers herself until she is at eye level. Elena steps past her and walks away with long strides, the boy wrapped in a blanket in her arms. Where is she going?
“Do you think you can get up?”
Huh? Oh, right, Rosa is here. Can I get up? I wiggle my fingers and my toes. Yes, I can. I nod.
“Okay then, nina, let’s go.”
Rosa puts her arm around me and lifts me back onto my legs as if I weigh nothing. My legs are a bit wobbly when I try to stand on them, and the rope I am still holding doesn’t do much to keep me upright, but I manage to stay standing.
“Okay, Maya. Let’s go. Just follow the rope one step at a time. Nando and I are right behind you. Everything’s well. You’re okay, guapa.”
I am not there. I am in Barcelona. Everyone is safe.
***
The EMT has me wrapped in a foil blanket and sipping on a bottle of electrolytes.
The stuff is incredibly sweet and its only function seems to be to kill my tastebuds.
Seems to, because it did help me to snap out of the haze.
Granted, everything is still a bit fuzzy around the edges, but at least I feel like I am in my own body again.
Still shivering, still cold, but undeniably me. I sit in the back of one of the rescue cars as the crew wraps up their call. A warm hand suddenly brushes my shoulder. I startle and let out a soft yelp.
“Hey there, tiger. Calm down, it’s just me.”
Elena lowers herself in front of me until her piercing brown eyes meet mine.
They have never seemed softer than now, laced with care and something else.
Worry? She is not wearing her jacket anymore, just her undershirt, which is wrapped tightly around her body.
I notice that her hand quivers and for a moment I think she must be in shock.
Oh, nope. It only seems like it’s quivering because I am trembling so much.
“S…s…sorry,” I stammer, but she is already shaking her head.
“No, you’ve nothing to be sorry about. I should have sent you back, but there wasn’t enough time. This is on me. I’m sorry, Maya. I am.”
I shake my head vigorously.
“No, please don’t s…s…say that,” I shiver. “I s…should’ve kn…known better.” I push out.
Her eyebrow lifts at those words and she tilts her head.
I lift my eyes to search for hers. There is nothing more I want to do right now than to disappear in them, to disappear in her strong and warm arms. Safe and sound, where I belong.
Except that you don’t. I shudder and my lip trembles slightly.
Elena frowns and lifts her hand to gently brush away a strand of hair that fell in front of my eyes.
“What happened?” Her voice is nearly a whisper.
We both know that she isn’t talking about what happened in the sewers. No. This is about what happened before and why I can’t seem to stop shivering right now. This is about Aran.
“We were only twelve, but we just…f…f…felt so grown up,” I speak slowly, as if my mouth is trying to catch up with my brain.
“When school took us s…s…swimming, we were ecstatic. W…we were all over the place, you know. Like how kids can be?”
I meet Elena’s gaze, almost pleading for her to understand.
Her eyes are still soft, and her hand still resting against my cheek.
Warm, safe, and grounding. Her nod is gentle and encouraging.
I lean into her touch a bit more, to find the strength to continue.
She doesn’t pull back. Elena just holds me and I’ve never felt safer.
“It was s…so h…hot that day, and we all jumped i…in and out of the w…w…water the w…whole time. Nobody knew.” A tear slips down my cheek as I look up at Elena again. “Nobody knew, El. Aran was under water for more than two hours, b…before anybody missed him. Nobody knew.”
My body starts shaking again as a sob tears through me.
Elena’s eyes widen and her frown deepens as she surges forward.
Her arms wrap around me and she pulls me close against her chest. My hands automatically find her back, my fingers digging into the fabric of her shirt as if my life depends on it.
My forehead rests against her jaw as my tears drip down her collarbone, but Elena doesn’t seem to mind.
She just holds me there, with one hand against my head, and the other rubbing soft circles on my back.
“When you w…w…went under…”
I hiccup and can’t finish my sentence. But I don’t have to. Her hand travels from my back to my chin, which she lifts gently with two fingers, forcing me to look at her.
“Hey, I’m right here, Maya. I’m okay.”
I nod weakly, digging my fingers deeper into the fabric.
“You’re here,” I whisper.
“I’m here,” she whispers back, resting her forehead against mine.
I feel the tension siphon out of my body as my breathing follows hers. After a few minutes, I even stop shaking.
Gosh, she must think you are an idiot. She runs into burning buildings for a living and you collapse over something that happened twenty-five years ago.
I open my eyes to find her already staring at me with something hungry in her gaze. Something that sends sparks down my spine.
“El…” I whisper, my voice soft and hoarse for other reasons now.
She softly shakes her head and closes her eyes for the briefest moment.
Her chest rises against mine with a long, uneven breath.
For a second I think she’s pulling away.
Her body shifts like she’s about to step back, like she’s going to put the wall up again.
My heart stutters, terrified of the distance, but then she stops.
Her hand tightens at the back of my neck, and instead of retreating, she yanks me closer.
Her lips crash into mine, searching, almost pleading for an answer.
I arch into her and tilt my head slightly, opening my lips to her.
When her tongue slides in, I moan, the sound swallowed by her mouth.
It ignites a fire in us both, and suddenly, we are pressing closer and deepening the kiss with a hunger we knew was there but we both chose to ignore. Finally.