Chapter 37
“Shall we?”
It’s two in the afternoon and Maya is ready to sit down for the last interview.
My stomach churns. Not because I am reluctant to answer her questions.
Not this time. No. It makes my heart drop, because after that, Maya will return home to finish her article.
No more ride-alongs. No more joking in the cantina.
Her laughter no longer flowing through the bay.
It will all be over. And I am not ready for that.
She seems to feel my distress and grabs my hand.
“You know you’ll still see me every damn day, right?”
I nod, my mouth dry. It won’t be the same, though, will it?
Maybe it will be better. I don’t have to worry about her safety, and I get to go home to her.
If I even get to keep my job here to begin with.
Maybe the Chief will transfer me. We haven’t spoken about what we’d do then.
Yet somehow I know it will work out. We will work it out. I nod again and clear my throat.
“Let’s do this.”
“Let’s…”
We settle down in one of the vacant offices.
Maya sits comfortably in an older desk chair—she somehow managed to pull up her legs and wrap her arms around them.
The sight alone is enough to make me melt.
The recorder lies on the table between us, the red light blinking.
I bite my lip again as the same nerves rush over me.
Are we going to talk about Cruz again? I am not sure if I can bear it.
“I hoped we could do things a bit differently this time,” Maya whispers.
I look at her. She must see a certain expectancy in my eyes because she chuckles. The melodic sound makes me smile. You became soft, Gonzales. Whatever.
“Different how?”
“Well, you know how we spoke about full transparency in this article?”
I hum.
“I’d like to talk about who you are as a person. About us. Like… when you…”
She trails off and her cheeks flush. Her eyes drift toward the voice recorder and then toward her toes. The sight tugs at me. I lean over the table and lift her chin. Her eyes finally meet mine again and I smile softly at her.
“When I?”
“… when you started to get feelings for me.”
My smile turns into a smug smirk and I brush her bottom lip with my thumb. She blinks when I break contact and sit back in my chair. I am still at work after all. And if I don’t stop myself now, that desk is going to see far more interesting things than paperwork.
“Is that okay?”
Maya tugs a strand of hair behind her ear.
She is completely oblivious to the thoughts running through my mind right now.
Thoughts like wanting to press her up against the door and have her ride my fingers, bend her over that desk, make her spread her legs in that chair.
But also thoughts like wanting to pull her against my chest. To nuzzle her neck and drink in her scent, and feel her heartbeat against my own.
I want to drown in her and, at the same time, tuck her away into my pocket.
“That’s more than okay, querida. Where do you want me to start?”
Her whole face lights up. She smiles wide at me and her eyes shine. It makes my heart flutter and my stomach flip.
“From the start. The first time you saw me.”
I chuckle. “The first time I saw you, you were a mess. Or maybe I was.”
“You were cold and distant.”
“You were bubbly and chatty.”
“You like that about me.”
“But I didn’t know that yet.”
“When did it change?”
I look at her. Her beautiful face. Not just because she is gorgeous, which she is, but because of who she is.
As a person. Smart, witty, positive and kind.
Challenging and strong. She truly is the whole package.
How could I not love her? When did it change?
In that same stupid moment. My heart recognized her long before my mind did. When did that catch up?
“When we had coffee. Or rather, when I had coffee and you had syrup.”
She chuckles. “Tell me more.”
***
By the end of the afternoon, my hands shake. Maya has left a few hours earlier. I was supposed to go to the Chief right after that. Three back-to-back calls put an end to that plan, and I considered putting it off until tomorrow.
Salisar will be tired and cranky. He is not as energetic as he used to be.
But if he hears the story from anyone else but me, the damage would be even greater.
If Tommy so much as gets an inkling of what’s going on, he’ll be running to the Chief.
I can’t risk that. So, I take a deep breath and knock on the door three times.
“Enter.”
The warm voice sounds mildly distracted, and when I walk into the office I can see why.
Salisar is bent over a stack of papers. His eyes are skimming the words in front of him.
With a wave of his hand, he motions for me to sit.
I close the door, walk over to one of the chairs and sink down.
My legs are trembling, and I am bursting with nerves.
The motion seems to pull the Chief from his concentration and he finally looks up.
“Elena. To what do I owe this pleasure? Drink?”
He grabs two glasses and fills them with orange juice. He pushes the drink toward me and then rests his elbows on his desk. He waits patiently as I sip from my drink and gather my courage. Gosh, why couldn’t this be whiskey instead?
“I… I would like to talk to you about a situation, sir.”
His eyebrow rises, but he doesn’t speak. The silence feels like a pressure that is crushing me. Pressing me into the floor, unless I press back. Unless I speak.
“Sir, I haven’t been honest with you.”
“About Maya.” His voice is certain and low.
He knew. Of course he already knew. He has seen me at my worst. The years after Cruz, I spiraled so badly that they had to send me here.
Fernando took me under his wing. Not just at the station, but also outside of it.
His wife cooked for me, and I went to his daughter’s graduation.
He is more family to me than my own father ever was. Of course he knew.
“Yes. We… we are together.” My voice wavers. “Lo siento, Chief. I… I really thought I had it under control.”
He stays silent for a few beats and I shuffle uncomfortably in my seat. His voice, when it does come, is surprisingly comforting though.
“We have no say in the matter of the heart, Elena. I know that like no other. And you, carino, always find the hardest fires to walk into.” He studies my face for a heartbeat. “Is she worth it?”
The answer falls from my lips before I can think about it. A clear yes. My voice is steady this time. Salisar studies me for another moment, and then leans back into his chair. He runs his hand over his face and lets out a deep breath.
“I wanted you to hear it from me, sir. Before you read about it.”
His hand drops to the desk and his eyes narrow in calculation.
“The article?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jesus Christ, Elena.” His voice is a breathy mutter. He throws his head back and stares at the ceiling. For a moment I am tempted to look up as well, but I keep my eyes on the Chief.
“Is there any way you can stop this from going public?”
“No, sir. Maya… it’s her job on the line too.” I swallow but keep my chin up. Those few words carry all the weight of this conversation. All my worries, all the risks, and all my willingness to take responsibility for my actions.
“So, why now? Why give me this headache?” He looks at me again, his eyes almost somber. Yet there is something soft in his gaze, tender even.
“Because I respect you, sir. Not just as my Chief, but also as… as my friend. I should have come to you sooner.”
Salisar lets out a tired laugh. The quiet kind that doesn’t hold any joy at all.
The kind that tries to reroute stress and empties the brain from excess thoughts.
He bends forward and looks at me. His eyes are calm.
There is no anger in him, not even resentment.
I had expected him to yell. Instead he seems relieved?
“You understand this will cause a storm? They will come for you, Elena. And when they do, they will drag up your past. They will leave no stone unturned. The municipality will want a scapegoat.”
I nod and close my eyes.
“I’ll take whatever repercussions come my way, sir. I just cannot hide her. I won’t.”
He studies me for another beat and then nods.
“Then don’t. But you will step back from media access, effective immediately.
When you are contacted by any journalist, including Maya, regarding this topic, you will give them no comment.
There will be no appearances unless approved by me.
The press office will handle the fallout.
You will focus on the job.” He sighs and then nods again.
“You let me handle this, Gonzales. I’ll take the heat. ”
I startle back into my seat at those words and just stare at the Chief. He doesn’t just offer to have my back. This is a promise of shielding me, even if it will dent him in the process. My fingers curl around the armrests until my knuckles turn white. I shake my head.
“Sir, no. I couldn’t… I won’t ask that of you.”
“You didn’t,” he huffs. “And I didn’t offer it either.
It’s not a choice, Elena. It’s a fact. When you entered this station six years ago, you were a mess.
Chiefs were scared of you. The wonder child that was so headstrong.
I saw who you really were, and how everything that happened to you damaged you.
That’s why I reached out to you, Elena. That is why you let me help you. ”
I blink at the words. Had I? It doesn’t feel like it had been a conscious choice.
Salisar had been in my face the whole time.
He was rough when I needed it, but he was also gentle when I would turn into myself.
I had taken a liking to him and he to me.
It never even crossed my mind that this was related to the incident.
“If anything good came out of that day,” I whisper more to myself than at him, “it’s that I found my home here. With you and the crew, sir.”
He nods at that and raises his glass of juice.
“I’ll drink to that.” He takes a sip and scrunches his nose. “Dios, I really wish this was whiskey instead.”
A laugh bubbles up from deep inside me. It startles us both when it falls from my lips. As I clasp my mouth with my hands, Salisar starts to laugh as well. The emotional tension breaks and we chuckle together for a few moments until we come back to ourselves.
“Sir, I never meant to shame you or the station,” I sigh.
“You haven’t, Elena.” His smile turns softer now.
“If anything, you’ve made me proud. I knew that Carter was something else when she walked in here.
Bright, eager, and a big heart. It was clear from that moment that she only wanted the best for our station.
Naturally I can’t give her press access anymore, but I hope we get to see her around more often.
If she is worth it for you to risk everything, she is more than welcome to our family. ”
I nod. “She is, sir… worth it, I mean.”
“Good,” Salisar smiles, “because you are going to be on administrative duties for at least a month after the article comes out. We’ll call it an administrative reassignment as an answer to your transparency.”
I feel the blood drain from my face. A whole month of paper pushing? But the Chief grins at me.
“Just on paper, Elena. No, you won’t be able to respond to calls during those days, but I’m intending to put you in charge of drills. There just happens to be a fresh batch of rookies around that same time. Honestly, I would have gotten you off the streets for those days regardless.”
I let out a relieved sigh, followed by another chuckle.
It makes perfect sense. Salisar can’t look away this time.
It will be public. There needs to be a consequence.
But since I am here of my own volition, before the article is printed, he can turn it into a formal warning and a slap on the wrist. It will show on my record, but that’s the worst of it.
“Effective immediately you will have no media access, no ride-alongs with Carter, and you will not give any more interviews. Press Office and HR will run point. You focus on drills.” He pauses for a beat, before smirking.
“You and Maya will also attend a full Q&A after the presentation of the article. You can bet your ass that it will garner attention. This story is going to leak soon. I’ll speak to our press office so that they can prepare you two.
” He studies my face for a bit and I groan.
“Yeah, you’ll hate it. Suffer. This is something you need to push through to get to the other side.
Not a request, but an order. Do I make myself clear? ”
“Yes, sir.”
My voice doesn’t tremble even though I, indeed, hate the idea. He nods and leans back, looking into his orange juice with another pang of regret in his eyes.
“Alright. Wrap up for today. Go tell her all about it.”
“Thank you, sir.” I hesitate for a moment. “Sir?”
He looks up, his eyebrow lifted. “There is more?”
I chuckle.
“Nothing like that, Chief. But I would like to speak to Tommy. I know he is the one who… came to you.” I swallow harsher words. “He betrayed the trust as much as I have, sir. I want to set the record straight.”
Salisar’s facial expression doesn’t change—he looks at me for a moment, and then rubs his chin.
“I never liked that kid,” he grumbles under his breath, before slightly lifting his chin. “Just make sure you keep it professional. This can’t be turned into a witch hunt. Document everything. No confrontation without a witness. You’ll keep an eye on the crew?”
“Always.”
“I thought as much.” His eyes dart back to the paperwork in front of him. “Enjoy your evening, Elena.”
“Thank you, Chief. You too.”