7. Graham
GRAHAM
NOW
My toes and hands press into the cut grass, body holding steady in a taut, straight line.
The dark canyon before me sleeps, but my brain has been reprogrammed to operate in a different time zone.
Texas is two hours ahead of California, where I woke this morning long before dawn and my alarm.
I’ll need to add power naps to my daily calendar if I want any chance of balancing a cross-country courtship with a grueling production schedule.
Inhale. Move from Chaturanga to Upward Dog.
A chill rushes through me as my bare legs collect the dewdrops from the ground. An arched back and stretched obliques help my lungs expand, but my mind remains clouded. Since yesterday, all I’ve thought about is how good it felt being near Miguel again.
Exhale. Move to Downward Dog and hold.
The subtle changes in his appearance didn’t go unnoticed. The trimmer waistline and purple shading under his eyes are signs he’s faring as poorly as me, but neither detract from his beauty.
Inhale. Step forward with each foot, bringing them together. Exhale. Fold at the waist and grab my ankles. Hold.
One thing has become clear. I shouldn’t have waited a year to chase after him.
He’s too stubborn and proud to come back to me on his own.
I could sense his regret in the way he held on to me in the bathroom.
Even knowing he’s still drawn to me, I’d be foolish to think winning him over a second time will be any easier than the first.
Inhale. Transition to Chair Pose, arms in the air. Exhale. Rise to Volcano Pose and hold.
I lower my arms and rest my hands on my hips, feet shoulder-width apart. An irritated grunt gets swallowed by the canyon. This yoga session has been a complete waste of time. I’m less centered now than when I left the coffee shop without achieving my goal.
Our parting exchange gives me hope, though. When Miguel sets a challenge, he cracks the door open, knowing I’m the unstoppable force barreling toward it. He better brace for impact because I have no intention of slowing down.
I retrieve my boxer briefs from the nearest lounger and drag them up my legs, letting the waistband snap into place. After an important meeting this morning, I’m flying back to Texas. If all goes well, I’ll be one step closer to having my California house back in order before I leave.
Two hours later, I’m freshly showered, fully dressed, and seated at the kitchen table, nibbling on my thumb.
Blood blossoms where I’ve been chewing the skin, and my knee won’t stop bouncing.
I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and pinch my necklace.
My guest has made it through the gate, and I’m waiting for the doorbell to ring.
When it does, I race down the stairs and throw the door open. “I’m glad you came. Wasn’t sure if you read my text.”
With her arms folded across her chest, Carmen taps a bejeweled fingernail on one elbow. “Why am I here?”
Miguel would’ve told her about my impromptu visit yesterday. They don’t keep secrets from each other. I’ve taken a gamble, counting on her meddlesome nature to prevail when I asked her to meet with me this morning.
“Please, come in,” I say, stepping aside.
She breezes past me and climbs the stairs to the living room that Miguel updated to reflect the current decade.
Her tote bag thuds to the hardwoods before she sinks into a sleek, low-profile chair, crossing one leg over the other beneath her long turquoise skirt.
Carmen hasn’t changed much in twelve months, but the scowl on her face is new.
“It’s good to see you,” I say. When she raises an expectant eyebrow, I sigh and take a seat on the leather sofa. “I get it. You’re upset with me for letting him down. I’m trying to make things right, and I could really use your help.”
Her blank expression is so unlike her, I’m not sure what to make of it. “How did you let him down?”
“I made a bad call,” I confess.
She lets out a halfhearted chuckle. “Wow. This is going to end in either a train wreck or an epiphany.”
“This isn’t a joke, Carmen,” I say, gritting my teeth.
“Believe me, I know it’s not a joke. You didn’t see him fall apart.”
“Because he didn’t give me a choice. Neither of you did.” I draw in a steadying breath and hold it for a beat. When I speak again, the tremor in my voice persists. “You shut me out too.”
Carmen didn’t block my number, but she ignored my hundreds of calls and messages. Her loyalty to Miguel is understandable—expected, even—but I thought the friendship we’d developed over the years meant as much to her as it did to me.
She picks at the stitching in her skirt. “I’ll always take his side, even when I think he’s making a mistake.”
“I know, and I’d never ask you to take mine.”
“But you’re asking me to join your little conspiracy,” she says. “Miguel won’t like it, and he will find out.”
Another transgression to add to my long tally. And another reason to beg for his forgiveness. Maybe he’ll give me some grace if he learns Carmen aided with my mission.
“Wait.” Once her earlier comment registers, I perk up. “You think he made a mistake when he broke up with me?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think, but yes. I’m sure Miguel feels the same even if he won’t admit it.”
She knows Miguel better than anyone else does, excluding me, so her opinion carries a lot of weight. It also boosts my confidence about storming his gates and reclaiming my wayward prince.
I lean forward, elbows planted on my knees. “Tell me what I’m up against. Is he seeing anyone?”
“He’s been on one date.” Carmen’s smirk looks deviant. “I knew if he went out with someone, you’d hear about it. So I created his profile on a dating app to move things along.”
“You’re already conspiring against him.”
“I prefer to call it gentle interference.” Her haughty, raised chin reminds me of him. “I’ll help you, but only if you promise to give him a fair shot. If he meets someone he likes, don’t interfere. Give him the chance to work things out for himself.”
She might as well gut me with a meat hook and hang me from the rafters to bleed out.
Knowing Miguel doesn’t sleep around brings me some comfort, but even he’s capable of rebelling against his principles and jumping into bed with someone.
If he does, there’s nothing I can do about it, and my feelings for him won’t change.
“I’ll leave his dating life alone, but I plan to go full throttle in my pursuit.”
“No one expects anything less from you,” she says, patting me on the knee.
I narrow my eyes. “That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”
“Take it however you wish.”
What I wish is for Miguel to unblock my number so I can talk to him while I’m in Texas.
Free time will be hard to come by from now until filming wraps in March.
I’ve bulldozed through every obstacle to accelerate my career, but I never thought movies would stand between me and what I desire most in the world.
Ignoring the heft of Carmen’s stare, I brush my thumb across my bottom lip. “Is there any chance he’ll come back to me?”
“Yes, but he won’t make things easy for you.”
I smile for the first time today. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from him.”
“Well, then…” She scoots forward on the chair, and her lips curve into a mischievous grin. “What do you need me to do?”
The first-class flight attendant gestures toward the main cabin door. While the other passengers are stretching and collecting their belongings, I sling my backpack over my shoulder and slip out of my seat. One positive of keeping clothes in two houses is having the ability to travel light.
A side exit on the jet bridge leads me to the VIP car that will escort me from the Austin airport. My shoes have barely touched the tarmac when I secure my earbuds and dial my manager, Jonathan Reed.
He answers on the third ring. “You want to scale back the interviews.”
“That’s what I said.”
I had texted him before my flight took off from Burbank, informing him we needed to discuss my media schedule. He likes to make a fuss when I spring things on him, but he enjoys the thrill of the unexpected.
A driver in a black suit and hat opens the car door for me. I mouth a “thank you” and switch the call to video once I’m in the privacy of the back seat.
Jonathan leans toward his laptop, giving me a close-up of his scruffy grey beard. “How many do we need to cut? The PR team got two more requests on Friday.”
“All of them. I’ll do The Starlight Show, then I’m taking a break.”
Between filming five days a week and spending weekends pursuing Miguel, plus travel, I won’t have time to spare for interviews and pandering to the press.
As it stands, I’ll need to squeeze in extra work on the plane and cut down on my sleep schedule.
Production won’t end once the cameras stop rolling each day, not for me.
He stares over the rim of his reading glasses, unmoving. I check my phone signal to see if we’ve lost connection. A few more seconds pass before he taps his fancy, engraved pen on the desk.
“Interviews are free promotion, Graham.”
I raise an empty hand he can’t see. “There’s nothing to promote yet.”
“Free publicity, then.”
“Don’t need it or want it right now.”
He grunts and glares at something out of frame.
Jonathan’s in his late sixties and has worked in the movie business for longer than I’ve been alive.
He spent a decade as a talent agent before transitioning into management.
I got lucky when a mutual acquaintance referred me to him.
Jonathan keeps his roster small, choosing clients based on personality and potential.
If he invests his time and expertise in someone, he wants to be damn sure his efforts aren’t wasted.
“A month ago, you asked me to fill your schedule. Now you’re asking me to clear it. What gives?” he asks.
“Something came up. A personal matter.”
His bushy eyebrows pull together. “Do I need to get involved?”
“Not yet.”
“Before you do anything drastic, give me a heads up. I don’t like surprises.”
“You’ll be the first to know,” I say.
He jams the pen in a mug packed with other pens, and the expression on his pudgy face softens as he switches from manager to friend. He’s known about my sexuality since the beginning of our working relationship, and he’s been a supporter of me and Miguel from day one.
“Hope everything works out this time, bud.”
“Thanks. Me too.”
We end the call as the car enters Austin traffic, the only sight I’ve seen in the city besides the studio lot and the neighborhood where Maisy and I are staying. She won’t be home until this evening, which means I’m walking into another empty house.
I sink lower in the seat and massage my temples.
An afternoon alone could be good for me.
I’ll use the time to meditate and strategize.
The coming days will be hectic as we prepare to start filming on Monday, and I need to stay on top of my game if I want to succeed at juggling two lives. Although I should be good at it by now.