Chapter 39
Thevan stood above me with his arms crossed.
He scrutinized my face and didn’t seem comforted no matter how much I told him I was fine.
Even in his saffron healer’s robes, he looked like a soldier—it was almost comical.
But I didn’t laugh. With him at my side, I felt more at peace than I had since the first time I set foot in this accursed palace.
“Eat something, Rani.” Tara brought an uttapam to where I sat on a corner of the sofa. “You’ll feel less nauseous if you snack throughout the day. When your mother was pregnant, this was the one dish she could always eat.”
The thick rice pancake was flavored with cumin and mustard seeds and was topped with tomatoes. I took a bite, and the warmth of the seasoning and the tang of the fermented rice batter filled my mouth.
“It tastes like home,” I said.
“Which is exactly where we need to get you,” Parushi said from Nallini’s side, near the other end of the sofa.
“You know I can’t leave.” I pointed to the black pillow, which Thevan had thrown against the wall in disgust when he’d learned its history. “Vishwajeet won’t allow it.”
“We’ll find a way around him,” Tara said. “If we can get the raja alone, I can convince him you need to go home.”
“No.” I put down the uttapam, swiveling to see them better. “It’s not worth the risk. I’ll stay here and make the most of this. Somehow.”
“What’s happened to you?” Thevan looked at me as he would a stranger. “My soldiers and I have rallied the people of Ullal behind you—behind your fight against these monsters—and you want to languish here? You can’t ask more of them than you do yourself. You have to get up and fight!”
“Every time I’ve tried to fight, someone I love has gotten killed.” Tears stung my eyes. “Chaaya and Maraan are dead because I sent them away. Ektha is dead because I failed to protect her. Even Uncle Trimulya was taken from me because I didn’t see Ulagan for what he truly was.”
I slumped against my seat. “The Spirits were clear; they left me a message after my uncle’s death. They wanted me to come here. I don’t want to see who they’ll take next if I fight them anymore.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Parushi stood in front of me with her hands on her hips. “You’re taking the blame for Vishwajeet’s schemes and calling his treachery the will of the Spirits.”
“Messages from the Spirits are easily misunderstood,” Nallini chimed in, her voice small but firm as she stood next to Parushi.
“Vishwajeet told the raja the same thing.” I crossed my arms and glared at her.
“The man is not always wrong,” Nallini said with a shrug. “The point is you can’t be certain that’s what the Spirits were saying. You should at least consider that they might have meant something else.”
Parushi nodded from beside her. “Why would the Spirits want us to bow to those monsters? It makes no sense.”
I wiped my eyes and sat a little straighter. I wanted to hope that there was another meaning to the Spirits’ message, but I couldn’t fathom what it might be.
“What exactly—” Nallini began, but a knock interrupted her.
“The raja is here to speak to the rani!” Vishwajeet’s voice was far too easy to identify.
“Thevan, quick—fix your robe, then answer the door,” Tara said.
“With pleasure.” Thevan’s eyes thundered. “And I’ll take care of him.”
I held out my hand to stop him. The thought of Thevan coming face to face with my husband—the man he’d all but begged me not to marry—made my nausea come rushing back. I wanted those two as far away from each other as possible.
“Thevan, don’t—” I didn’t get to finish because he’d already opened the door.
“His Royal Highness, Raja Lakshmappa Arasa, will have a word with his wife.” Vishwajeet dragged over his vowels, elongating them with his pretentious pageantry.
“Her Royal Highness, Rani Abbakka Chowta, needs to rest.” Thevan waited for a beat, just long enough to irritate Vishwajeet but not long enough to rebuke. “However, I’m sure she would love to see the raja.”
He stepped out of the way and opened the door, revealing a worried-looking Aru and an infuriated Vishwajeet. Vishwajeet stepped forward, but Thevan closed the door slightly, blocking him from entering.
“I wonder if the raja might prefer to visit alone.” Thevan squared his shoulders against Aru’s adviser.
“I am the hand of the raja!” Vishwajeet sputtered.
“And I am the apprentice of the master healer.” I could hear the smirk in Thevan’s voice. “She was very uncomfortable with your behavior at the beach. It would be best if she could care for the rani without any distractions. I’m sure the raja understands.”
“But—” Vishwajeet began.
“Stay out, Vishwajeet,” Aru said. “The young healer is right; we need to focus on my rani and child.”
Thevan closed the door after Aru stepped into the room.
My raja sat next to me and took my hand into his. “How are you? I mean, do you feel any better now?”
“Much better, thank you,” I said. “I was just tired, but your surprise made the journey worth every moment.”
I smiled at him, trying to push the warmth I once felt toward him into my expression. All he saw was the strain.
“No, you’re not better.” He turned to Parushi. “You were right. Thank you for telling me the truth about how unwell she is.”
Aru looked back at me, sadness pulling at the corners of his eyes as he scrutinized my face. He ran his finger down my arm, over my hand, and onto my swollen belly. “You need not be so brave, my dearest. You should not strain yourself, especially in your condition.”
“I am fine,” I insisted, and I tried not to look at Thevan, who glowered from the corner every time Aru touched me.
“You are as stubborn as you are lovely,” Aru said with a sigh. At least he understood one part of me. “I will have food and drink sent for all of you. As well as anything else Nallini or your healers need.”
He got up, and Tara immediately stepped to his side, bowing before she spoke. “I apologize for being so forward, Raja, but I wonder if I might impose upon your time. For the rani’s sake.”
“Anything for my rani.”
He followed her toward the windows, next to my despondent aloe plant. I couldn’t see them without craning my neck, so I looked down at the table in front of the sofa and fiddled with my teacup to avoid looking at Thevan.
“Raja, I fear the rani has concealed the extent of her illness from you.” Tara made sure I could hear her even though I wasn’t looking in their direction.
“I knew something was wrong,” Aru said. “Even though Vishwajeet kept insisting she was fine. That’s why I spoke to Parushi and called you here.”
“Very perceptive of you, Raja.” Tara buttered him up. “Her mother had a similar illness when she carried Abbakka. Thankfully, the cure is a simple one: a tea made from paarijaata blossoms.”
I tried to hide my surprise. Nobody had ever spoken of such a cure with me—not even Chaaya. She would have told me about it if it were true. This lie had to be Tara’s way of getting us out.
Aru turned to the door. “I will send someone to collect the blossoms immediately!”
“Forgive me, Raja, but it’s not so simple.” Tara’s words stopped the raja in his tracks. “The paarijaata blossoms we need are not the common white ones. We need purple paarijaata blossoms. I have seen them grow in only one place: our holy mountainside just beyond the fort in Ullal.”
“I remember my grandmother telling me of the purple paarijaata. I thought it was legend—a story for children.” He sounded distant and nostalgic, but his voice sharpened again as he continued. “I will have someone get them from Ullal and bring them here.”
“An excellent idea,” Tara said. “Hopefully, they can collect them quickly enough and keep them fresh enough for the tonic to be effective by the time they come back. I will do my best to make sure the rani does not deteriorate too much in the interim.”
Tara had my full attention now. Even though I couldn’t see her, I could hear the way she pushed him with her tone. The undercurrent of doubt and the emphasis on all the possible problems she presented. She was luring him to a solution she’d already found.
“Hope is not enough!” Aru smacked his fist against his palm. “There’s no point in going there and back. Take the rani to Ullal and get her what she needs. I will send a whole company with you to clear the way.”
“Very wise.” Tara sounded appropriately deferential even though she’d led him exactly where she wanted. “But I don’t want to impose upon the raja so much. A whole company is far too generous of you. We can go faster with a small group. With your permission, we’ll pack and leave immediately.”
Aru was silent for a moment before agreeing. “That is true, and speed is of the essence. Go as a small group. I will make sure the stables prepare horses for all of you, and the rani will ride my white stallion.”
“You know best, Raja. Thank you.”
Footsteps shuffled on their way to the door, which closed with a thud. Even so, we could hear Vishwajeet’s voice ringing through the halls as they left.
“Well, that takes care of that,” Tara said. “Let’s get packing. We need to leave as soon as possible.”
Parushi headed for the door. “I’ll go to the stables and make sure they have enough horses for all five of us.”
“Five?” Thevan said. He arched his eyebrow at Nallini and crossed his arms.
Parushi stepped to Nallini’s side, her hands on her hips as she glared at Thevan. “Yes. Five. You have no idea what she’s done for us while we’ve been here.”
“Perhaps you don’t know all she’s done while you’ve been here.” Thevan didn’t break eye contact with Nallini as he volleyed words with Parushi over my head, from one end of the sofa to the other.
Parushi’s hands balled into fists, and she leaned toward Thevan. Thevan shifted his weight to the balls of his feet.
We didn’t have time for this.
I cleared my throat and stood up, placing myself between them. “I don’t presume to know everything about what any of you have done.”
Nallini looked at me with unblinking, clear eyes, awaiting my decision.
It was true that we knew little of her before she came to us, but she’d helped us far more than she needed to, really. Not to mention the fact that she still hadn’t given Vishwajeet enough information for him to send the rest of her things, let alone a bed.
“If Nallini wants a horse, she may have one,” I said.
Nallini maintained her mask of calm, but her shoulders relaxed as she exhaled. “I would like to come.”
I raised my hand when Thevan opened his mouth to object. He fell silent, and I twisted to show Parushi the same gesture because it was clear she had a wicked remark hiding behind her triumphant smile.
“This is not the time to argue or gloat.” I looked from Thevan to Parushi and shot my words straight at them.
A hint of pink appeared on both their cheeks—I hadn’t missed my marks.
“We need to pack and prepare to leave. Parushi, tend to the horses. Nallini, pack for yourself and Parushi. Tara, I’ll need your help.
Thevan, keep guard . . . and make sure we have enough weapons ready for our journey home. ”
Warmth filled me as I spoke my last word.
It dawned upon me that I had already spent my last night in this infernally shining palace with its smooth white walls and gilded words with hidden barbs.
No more hiding away in my chambers and wondering who was watching my every move.
No more trying to make myself small to fit into the mold they’d made for me.
No more acceptance of a fate that made me hate the very skin I lived in.
I was going home.