17
T he sight of Gavin sucks every ounce of joy out of me. All afternoon my heart has been up in the sky with Ford but now this perfect day has plummeted into the ground like a landmine.
“Gavin, what are you doing here?” After our phone call, he probably thought I’d come crawling back because of my money problems. That I’d give in to his demands. That’s why he’s here. Because I’ve survived too long without him.
“Hello to you too, Reese.” Gavin adjusts the cuffs on his Brioni suit. Always tailored. Always in control. That’s Gavin.
“How did you find me?”
He arches a brow. “I have a tracker in your phone.”
I stand there, rocked. “What?”
My conversation with Bosko made me think he was overreacting, but now I wonder if I haven’t been paranoid enough. He tracked me. What else has he done without my permission?
“I have to take care of you, Reese,” he clips. “Because God knows you can’t do it yourself.”
I close my eyes and pretend for one second he believes in me. Loves me. Cares about me.
But the lie doesn’t land. Not anymore.
Gavin’s eyes narrow. “You look different.”
“I cut my hair. And I gained five pounds.” Saying it out loud feels like I have power.
Annoyance creeps into his expression as he extends a hand to the buttery leather couch. “Sit.”
Gritting my teeth, I obey. He settles across from me. Those cold blue eyes used to intimidate stylists, publicists stare me down.
“It’s been a month. It’s time to come home.”
“You said the summer.” I feel like a petulant child arguing with my father.
“We have contracts that still need to be ironed out.” He squints, inspecting me. “Are you off your meds?”
“I ran out,” I lie, hating myself.
“I thought so.” Sighing, he pulls a pill bottle out of his suit pocket and sets it on the wagon wheel coffee table. “What would you do without me, Reese? You’d never survive.”
But I have. And I can.
Time spent here has given me clarity. I don’t feel as foggy or as numb as I typically do.
I’ve never let myself dream about anything other than being famous. It was already set in stone for me. But on Runaway Ranch, the possibilities seem endless. My life seems up for grabs. A life I wasn’t sure I wanted at one time.
If I sing, I want to sing with my whole body. No more drugs, no more drink, no more strange men in my bed, or dark holes in my head.
“If we wait too long between albums, they’ll forget about you.Right now, we can spin your absence to RCA as a resurgence. But that means there are contracts to sign and songs to sing.”
I hold his gaze. “I don’t want to do that album, Gavin. It’s shit, and I sound like a robot. I want to do my songs.”
“You disappoint me.”
I flinch. It still stings.
Gavin leans in, his hands gripped so tightly around his knees I can see the white of his knuckles. “You’d give up everything we worked for…” His head swivels around the lodge. “For this? Some fucking summer vacation?”
“It’s not a vacation, it’s…”
Clarity.
Calm.
Hope.
“It’s my life,” I say, covering my bangles with one hand. “You’re not allowed to control it.”
He snorts. “Your life. Let me tell you about your life . Your parents didn’t want you. They abandoned you, and now you’re pushing me away. The one person who’s been there for you. I’ve loved you like a father.”
For the first time in forever, anger sparks inside of me. I don’t trust Gavin.
Maybe I never have.
Memories crash into my head.
Gavin putting that pen in my hand. Let me help you, Reese.
Gavin tying my wrists to the saddle. Let me help you, Reese.
He didn’t help me at all, did he? He hurt me.
He purses his lips. “Do you honestly expect me to let you go after I created you? After everything I’ve given you?”
A chill rolls through my spine.
“I’m done here, Gavin.” I stand, but he’s on my heels.
He clasps my elbow and pulls me close. “Don’t make me get Muirwood involved. I will if you keep throwing these petty fucking tantrums.”
The blood drains from my face. I stand so still my entire body is a heartbeat.
“That night you tried to take your own life, who stayed with you?” He leans in, a growl in his voice. “Who got you better?”
“You did.” Tears well in my eyes. “You.”
“That’s right. So you think real fucking good about whether you want to bite the hand that feeds you.” I flinch when he reaches out to stroke my hair. “Who will take care of you, my shiny little shooting star?” he asks in a softer tone. “Who will want you? Who will help you? What will you do? Because remember, you failed at that, too.”
A tear slips down my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut.
“There a problem here?” Boots thud and I open my eyes to see Ford at my side.
Gavin drops his hand.
“No,” I whisper. I turn into Ford, trying to wipe my face covertly, but his eyes narrow. Damn him. The man doesn’t miss a thing.
Gavin runs a hand down his tie. “Who’s this? The help?”
A dark shadow crosses Ford’s face, and he aims a glare so icy at Gavin that a chill runs down my spine. “Ford Montgomery,” he says.
“I’m here to take Reese home.”
Ford crosses his arms. “That wasn’t the deal I heard was arranged.”
“She spent the summer.”
“Summer lasts until the end of August around here,” Ford says easily, but the muscle jerking in his cheek tells me he’s angry. “Not sure how you do it in the city, but that ain’t it, son.”
Gavin’s nostrils flare at the barb.
I smother a smile.
“Reese.” Gavin’s face reddens, a telltale sign he’s at his boiling point. “We need to speak. In private.”
Bosko’s words drop into my head like a whisper of help. Whatever you do, don’t go back with him. Lie. Put him off to buy yourself time.
“We’ve said all we needed to.” I take a deep breath and lift my chin. “If I go back, I want you to open up my accounts. I want to see everything. Contracts, lawyers, accounts.”
The briefest flash of worry crosses Gavin’s plastic face. I hide a smile. Gavin can make ripples, but I can make waves.
He laughs dryly. “It’ll take time. But if that’s what you need to come home…”
“I do.” I smooth a hand across my dress. “I need that. And then I’ll go to the studio. I’ll do the album.” I give him my sweetest smile. Whatever I have to do to protect myself, to buy me time. “I promise.”
Gavin’s gaze is dark, but he says, “I’ll hold you to that, Reese.”
Then, without another word, he stalks to the door, whipping it open and storming into the bright July sunshine.
Ford pulls me into him. “You okay?”
“I’m so sorry,” I sniffle, fighting back tears. “I had no idea he was coming.”
“How’d he find you?”
I flinch. I already know he won’t like it. “He said he has a tracker in my phone.”
Ford swears.
I stare at the door Gavin exited. The urge to give in like I’ve always done resurfaces. It all feels hopeless. Like I’ll never escape.
“Maybe I should go with him.” My voice is hollow. “Make it easier.”
No matter how much anger and distrust I feel towards Gavin, there’s still the fear he’s right. What if I can’t do it? Will the summer really make a difference?
I wait for my mother’s voice. Be brave. Instead, I hear Ford’s.
“Don’t go.”
I look up at him. “What?”
Ford’s handsome face is creased with something I don’t recognize. “I don’t want you to go.”
“You don’t?” I breathe.
“No, Birdie. I don’t.”
“Why?” I bite my lip. “Because of Grady?”
“No.” His throat works. “Because of me. I like you here.”
“Yeah? You like me, Country Boy?”
“You’re a pain in my ass, but yeah.” His voice softens. “I like you.”
My heart riots in my chest. I can’t think of a time in my life when someone has truly wanted me around. It makes me feel more than wanted. It makes me feel everything. Especially happy.
Ford cups my cheek. “Stay, okay?”
And then he leans down and kisses me, on the ranch, in front of everyone.
The black hole, the past—I may never get over them.
But Ford makes me feel like I can. If only for a little while.