Chapter 50
Luisa
Amalfi
The door had clicked shut with a thud, sounding heavy, final. “Amy, wait…” she called out, but it was too late.
Luisa leapt off the bed, throwing on some underwear, a pair of shorts and a hoody, Amy’s hoody in fact, one she’d borrowed on Wednesday morning for the flight over. It smelt of her, that thought hit Luisa as she pulled it on and she felt her stomach lurch.
She turned to Bel, thought about saying something but the words didn’t come, then she opened the door and looked out. The corridor was empty. Amy was gone.
***
Luisa went back into the room, letting the door shut behind her again. She stood there for what could have been ten seconds or ten minutes, she didn’t have a clue, leaning back on the door, her eyes closed, trying to work out what to do. All she knew, really knew, was that this couldn’t be good.
She opened her eyes to see that Bel was still on the bed, kneeling, not a stitch of clothing on her, watching Luisa. Her expression was impossible to read, it was calm, even detached.
But her eyes… there was something in them. Was it pity? Maybe regret? Luisa doubted it, probably disappointment that they’d been interrupted. Please, she thought, don’t ask me to come back to bed because that I will not do.
Luisa felt anger welling up, genuine anger, and even though she knew it was at herself she needed an outlet.
“What the fuck was that?” Luisa snapped, her voice raised. Then almost to herself a torrent of cursing in Spanish.
Bel didn’t rise to the bait. “What was what?” she replied innocently.
“You showing up here. Pushing yourself on me. Making me… do all of that.” She paused. “Fuck.”
It wasn’t fair on Bel, she knew that. Bel didn’t know about Amy, they rarely knew if either was with someone in the real world when they were together, and even if she did Bel would have done nothing different. Nor would Luisa if the situation was reversed. This was just what they did.
“I didn’t…” replied Bel but Luisa cut her off.
“You did.” She reached up a hand to her face and caught the scent of Amy on the sleeve of the hoody. Her cheeks felt like they were burning red. “You turned up, you brought the wine, you knew exactly what you were doing.”
“I showed up, I brought the wine. You opened the door. You let me in. You took my hand, not the other way around. And you seemed a willing participant when we moved in here. Don’t rewrite it Luisa.”
“But…” Luisa had calmed down, she was almost pleading. “You could tell my head wasn’t in the right place.”
“And I helped put it in the right place. That’s what we do for each other, you know that by now. You could have said no.”
Luisa paused and looked at her forlornly. “You know I can’t. Neither of us can.”
They looked at each other for a long moment, then Bel said. “She’s your girlfriend? She’s called Amy?”
Luisa nodded. “Yes, why?”
Bel sighed and shook her head. “You and I don’t do this, but for the first and only time I’m going to give you some relationship advice. Don’t waste time standing here talking to me. Find her. Now. And talk to her.” She paused. “You and me… we’ll be fine, we always are. Find her.”
Luisa nodded and reached for her phone, surprised to see her hand shaking from the adrenaline. She tried calling Amy immediately but it went straight to voice mail. “Fuck…”
She tried again and a third time, no luck. Panic rose in her chest. What if Amy had decided she didn’t want to speak to her at all? She loved her so, so much, she couldn’t stand to lose her.
“I’ve got to go and find her,” she said to Bel as she slipped some trainers on. “Please don’t be here when I get back. We’ll speak tomorrow.” She paused. “I’m sorry I shouted at you.”
Bel smiled slightly. “It’s ok, I understand. Now go!”
Luisa headed out into the warm night armed only with her mobile phone and a vague notion that Amy would be somewhere in town.
***
Luisa’s breath came fast, loud in her ears as she hurried into town, half running, half walking. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts, the look of shock on Amy’s face, the way that Amy had coldly told her to take as long as she needed… she never wanted to experience that side of Amy ever again.
She needed to see her, to talk to her, to make her understand and make sure that they were ok.
As she hit the centre of town she tried her phone again, straight to voicemail. Breathlessly she left a message, imploring Amy to just call her back and tell her where she was, and then after she hung up she tried her three more times.
After that she started to walk aimlessly, looking into every restaurant, bar and cafe, trying to see Amy in any of them, but she didn’t see her at all. It was like Amy had vanished.
As the minutes passed Luisa felt her desperation and helplessness rise… where could Amy be?