CHAPTER ELEVEN #2
“You’re all enjoying life, huh? Living in your neat little bubble and pretending you don’t see people out there barely making ends meet.
People without food, water, or a roof over their heads.
Without feeling safe. How many of you have thought of using your power and influence to actually make a difference in this world?
” He let it all out through his teeth, and I gave him a surprised look, at a loss for words.
He sounded bitter and angry, and as much as I wanted to prove him wrong, I found that I couldn’t. It was true—we were all surrounded by wealth we didn’t use to make a positive change in the world. All that wealth existed to keep us where we were. The less fortunate didn’t matter.
Shame gnawed at me from deep within me, and I reached for my half-full glass of wine I’d left on the table, downing it in two gulps.
Aurora shifted closer to Zach, and my fingers tightened around my glass as she put her hand on Zach’s bicep, her expression sultry.
“You seem so different,” she said.
Was she for real?
Zach glanced down at her hand on him, his lips curling into a smile. “Really? How so?”
“You’re all hot and . . . dominant.” She licked her lips again. “I like that.”
Zach smirked. “Do you, now?”
“Yeah. These three years have done you good.”
I winced. I expected Zach to blow a fuse at that, but he only smiled at her. “You can’t even imagine. It was so good I should almost thank you for that.”
She tilted her head, stopping her glass halfway to her mouth. “I think the past should stay in the past, don’t you think, Zach? Life is too short to hold grudges.”
What the hell? I lowered my glass on the table, unable to suppress a snarl.
He stared at her, and a small smile formed on his lips as he gave her a slow once-over. “You know what? I completely agree with you. So how about you dance with me?”
What? What was going on?
She went on and surprised me even more when she said, “Sure, why not?”
I gave her an incredulous look, to which she shrugged her shoulders and leaned over Zach to whisper in my ear. “What? You were right. He’s so hot. I wonder what he packs in those sexy jeans.”
Zach stood and motioned with his hand for Aurora to go first. “After you.”
She chuckled and batted her lashes at him as she passed me, and I met Lana’s widened gaze.
Zach leaned down to me. “Don’t even think about hanging around that douchebag. You won’t like the consequences if you do.”
I bared my teeth at him, wishing I could throttle him as I watched him and Aurora move over to join the other dancers.
This didn’t make sense. Zach couldn’t be flirting with Aurora. He had all the reasons to hate her too. No way would he be able to get over the way she’d treated him just like that. Maybe I’d called the shots and was the one who had hurt him the most, but she’d hurt him plenty enough herself.
Yet he didn’t take his eyes off her as they stopped and faced one another, and I felt the same sensation in the pit of my belly that I’d felt when I saw him talk with Emily.
The server chose that moment to move by our table, and I reached for a drink blindly. I drank it in all of two seconds, appreciating its burn.
Zach’s hands moved low to Aurora’s hips, yanking her toward him until only their clothes separated them, and my stomach clenched.
Just a little more and they would be dry humping.
His gaze shifted over to me and turned taunting, as though he knew I wouldn’t like seeing them that way, and it felt like it was all just to punish me.
“I can’t believe her,” I muttered, looking away. I couldn’t believe them.
Lana arched her brow at me, sighing when Angel’s friend moved his hand to the underside of her breast, starting to kiss her neck. “Well, I can,” she said.
I raised my brows. “What?”
“I mean, he is very attractive now. We should’ve listened to you. He’s not the same ugly, shy loser anymore. The irony.” She acted as though she hadn’t treated him with contempt just minutes ago. “I bet he’s not a virgin anymore. I’m sure he had all the girls lined up just to fuck him.”
I grimaced at her. “That’s disgusting, Lana.”
She rolled her eyes, her teeth digging into her lip as Angel’s friend rolled her nipples between his fingers over her dress. “Oh, come on. When did you turn into a prude? I bet your panties get wet just at the sight of him.”
My thighs pressed together of their own accord. I didn’t say anything. I had no intention of confessing how he really made me feel. But more importantly, I felt disgusted by how they were looking at him like he was just a piece of meat and not a real person we’d bullied for almost eight months.
And I was just like them—cruel, selfish, and self-serving.
Zach was right when he said we didn’t do anything to make a difference in this world.
He was also right when he said I was fake.
I’d always been fake. People didn’t matter to me, just whether they were useful to me or not. Or so it was until some time ago.
The box I’d kept locked my whole life opened an inch, and I reminded myself of who I wanted to be.
But that was the thing—it was easier to keep the status quo than to change.
It was easier to keep holding out in this world, the only way I knew how, than to try the righteous way.
But taking the easy way came with a downside—it made me feel empty.
It made me feel so empty, like a never-ending void of nothingness.
I wasn’t happy or satisfied with myself.
I’d never actually been.
“You shouldn’t let your guard down around him,” I said to Lana. “Both Aurora and you shouldn’t.”
She gave me another roll of her eyes. “Aurora just wants to fuck him. It’s not like she’s going to marry him, so chill.”
“Isn’t she the one who said slumming it with the poor was beneath her?”
Lana chuckled, then moaned when Angel’s friend twisted her nipples again. “Not if they look like him. I think we did him a favor. Funny what a traumatic experience can do to a guy.”
I glared at her. “Are you serious?”
She scowled at me even as she arched her back, responding to Angel’s friend’s touches. “God, you’re such a buzzkill. What’s going on with you tonight? It’s like you’re this stuck-up, rigid bitch who always does good. Since when do you get offended about that stuff?”
“Since I was responsible for that traumatic experience in the first place, remember? Do you even regret it? Do you ever stop to think about how wrong it all was?”
She observed me like I was a stranger. “Yep, something’s definitely gotten into you because this isn’t you.”
Maybe she was right that this wasn’t me, or perhaps she wasn’t. I just knew I couldn’t be flippant about what we did to him, not now.
“Besides, you said it yourself—you’re the one who gave him that scar,” she added. “So if there’s anyone who should feel guilty, it’s you.” With that, she closed her eyes and wound her arm behind the guy’s neck, moaning when his hand slipped under her dress.
I stared daggers at her, my hand itching with the urge to slap her. What a bitch. As though she hadn’t bullied him too. As though she hadn’t participated in it. Fuck her.
“Are you okay?” Angel asked me, and I remembered he was here too.
“Yeah.” I stood. I had no clue where I wanted to go, but I knew it had to be somewhere that wasn’t here.
Angel stood too. “How about we go someplace more private now that you don’t have your guard by your side?”
I didn’t like his tone nor his insinuation, though his words had struck a chord. Zach was controlling me, and I was letting him, like a dog on a leash.
“How about you stop being so desperate and take the hint?” I walked away without a particular destination, glancing at where Zach and Aurora were dancing .
. . only, they were gone. My stomach dropped as my gaze swept over all the familiar and unfamiliar faces around the room. I couldn’t see them anywhere.
There was only one reason they wouldn’t be here.
Where are you? I texted Aurora.
I turned to look at Lana while I waited for Aurora’s reply and saw Angel was now sitting next to her. His hand worked her under her dress, while his friend continued tending to her breasts.
I rolled my eyes. That was quick.
My screen remained dark even after ten minutes, and I started tapping my foot, my fingers poised over my screen to type her another message.
Just then, her text popped up on the screen.
On the way to one of the rooms upstairs. Can’t wait to see if he’s as huge as he felt against me when we danced. Talk later.
Shit.
Don’t go there with him. We need to talk first. It’s important.
I tapped my foot faster, growing more restless. Minutes passed, but she didn’t reply.
“Fuck!”
I should go upstairs and find them and . . . do what? He wouldn’t hurt her, right?
I had a bad feeling. Something about them together didn’t sit well with me.
But maybe I was just paranoid. Perhaps he just wanted to fuck Aurora to let off some steam himself. There didn’t have to be anything more than that.
The party had completely lost its appeal now, and the images of them together, enjoying each other, fucked with my mind.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I so obsessed with him? He hated me and wanted to hurt me. I shouldn’t give him this much headspace. I shouldn’t give him this much power. He already had too much power over me.
Irritated, I went to the coatroom to get my jacket and left without saying goodbye to Lana and the others.