CHAPTER FIFTEEN #2
“Yet the people like me are rewarded. We have all the power. We have all the money. People envy us. People gravitate toward those with success and connections, willing to do almost anything to be part of our circle. But we are no better. We would do almost anything to remain in power. Even lose our humanity.”
I opened my eyes, my heart jolting against my rib cage when his breath hitched. He stayed silent, so I continued.
“That was what I’ve been taught since I was little. What I’m expected to uphold. There was never a question whether I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps and treat everyone like they’re worthless.”
He tugged at my hair slightly, just enough to angle my head to the side. “Then why did you help Emily? Why did you bother?”
“Because I couldn’t not. Because not helping her would be wrong. Because maybe I hadn’t lost all my humanity just yet.”
He tugged at my hair harder, making me look at him. A wavering breath left my lips at the fierce look in his eyes.
“You have no humanity. You don’t even regret what you did.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because I know you. I know who you are.”
If only he knew he was wrong. He had no idea that what I’d done to him had changed me too.
“Not really, you don’t.”
His gaze shifted between my eyes, and I could barely breathe when a conflicted expression crossed his face as he searched mine for something.
His chest rose and fell on uneven breaths, the moment extending into sweet eternity, and right there, I thought I caught something warm in his gaze, something that illuminated all the dark places in me and mended all the wounds.
The lights went on in the kitchen just then, and I winced, the moment broken.
I moved quickly, dropping back into the pool and away from Zach before anyone could see us together.
As I swam to the ladder on the other side, I glanced up at the windows and saw a figure I couldn’t discern watch us from the second floor, and I grimaced.
I could only imagine what they must be gleaning from this.
They turned around and disappeared behind the curtain.
My hands grabbed the ladder, and I glared back at Zach over my shoulder. “I don’t want you to come near me again.” I pulled myself out of the pool.
I couldn’t read his expression as he rose to his full height. “It’s too bad that you don’t get a say in it.”
There was no usual punch behind his words, and it made me wonder if the moment we’d just shared had affected him as much as it had me, but then I pulled myself out of the pool and noticed the object on the patio table. My blood froze.
He’d found my laptop.
“What are you doing with my laptop? How did you find it?”
He approached me around the pool. “It’s not like you had that many places to hide it in your room. The drawers in your closet were only my second guess.”
I clenched my hands. “You couldn’t have gotten into it. It’s passcode protected.”
“You really think I wouldn’t have found a way to get into it? You keep your passcode taped on the top of your bottom desk drawer. Not very creative.”
My stomach twisted as I thought about him going through my stuff. Through my videos.
“You had no right! You had no right to invade my privacy!” I darted over to the table to grab it, but he was faster, snatching it before I could. He raised it above his head and out of my reach.
“Give it back.”
“You’re a surprise. I didn’t know you made such videos. And you’re so emotional in them. So different. They sound honest.”
My cheeks went red. He’d watched my videos. He’d seen my deepest thoughts, fears, and doubts. My vulnerabilities.
“Give it to me.” I grabbed for the laptop, but he stepped back.
“‘Loneliness is a chain of darkness pressing around your neck. It’s not visible, but it’s always there, suffocating, squeezing, tethering you to an island so far away in the sea you see nothing and no one.
There is no escape.’” He quoted my words from one of my videos.
“Very deep. I almost believed it for a second. I almost believed you’re such a nice, caring person. ”
“Zach, give it back.” I jumped to reach it, but he took another step back, coming to the edge of the pool.
He extended the hand with the laptop and held it over the water.
My heart stopped. “What are you doing?!”
“Those videos were not the only thing I found on your laptop. You know what else there is? The recordings of all the times you and your friends bullied other students and me, with your face conveniently hidden.”
All my muscles locked up, my gaze darting between my laptop and him.
“It’s interesting that you still keep these videos like they’re something to be cherished.”
“I forgot I even had them.”
“Of course you did. Because what you did means nothing to you.”
“That’s not true. I’m not that person anymore. Now give me back the laptop.”
He released a laugh. “Really? You’re just saying that to placate me.”
My gaze snapped back to him. “No! I’ve changed.” Had he not noticed that no bullying videos were dated after what Aurora, Lana, and I had done to him? “I’m not proud of what I did. I regret it.”
Something flickered in his gaze, and it made me wonder if he believed me.
But as quickly as it appeared, it was gone. “You’ll have to be more convincing than that. Then again, those bullying videos shouldn’t exist. They’re an insult to every victim.”
“I know, but please.” I choked on the word. “That’s the only copy of my personal videos that I have. I don’t have any backup. I’ll delete those bullying videos, just let me have my videos back.”
He tilted his head. “I can imagine how much heart and soul you poured into them. I can imagine how much they mean to you. But you must be punished. You took away control, dignity, choices from me and those students. Now I’m taking this away from you.” He dropped the laptop in the pool.
“No!”
I dove into the pool for the laptop. My heart beat a hundred miles an hour as I grabbed it and surfaced, rushing over to the edge.
I hauled myself out of the pool and almost scraped my knees on the tiles as I leaned over the laptop, hurrying to turn it on.
The screen remained black, and no matter how many times I pressed the On button, nothing happened.
Something sank inside me.
“How . . . how could you do this?”
“It’s cruel, right? It’s almost as cruel as this.” He tapped at his burn scar.
My chest filled with an acid feeling. “I hate you.”
He sauntered over to me and looked me up and down, his expression cold.
“I know. But you’ll never hate me as much as I hate you.
” He got his phone out and snapped a photo of me, his lips curving into a smile.
“Perfect expression. Have sweet dreams.” He ran the tip of his finger down my jaw, then disappeared inside the house.