CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE #3
I thought about being behind the camera for a change. Documenting other people’s thoughts, not just mine. There would be so much to say, so much to share. So many stories to tell that otherwise wouldn’t be told.
My gaze drifted to Zach, and I noted him looking around us with a clear disdain for these people in his eyes. His words about us living in our bubble rang through me.
“You mentioned rich people didn’t help the world. What would you do to help it? If you had the money?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t make TikToks, that’s for sure.”
I tilted my head, following my previous train of thought. “Why not?”
“For obvious reasons.”
“Don’t you think that social media can raise awareness? Bring attention to topics that wouldn’t be covered any other way?”
His eyes met mine with fierce intensity, making my breath catch.
“If they were used by those who really cared, yes.” He continued to watch me, two lines forming between his brows.
“Did you ever try to do the opposite of what your parents told you to do? To be the opposite of what they want you to be?”
I closed my eyes, thinking about the first time Dad had wanted my “help” in closing a deal.
I almost didn’t go to that club. But I went, and when I came back home, I realized I couldn’t sign up for a lifetime of that.
I went to talk to Mom, thinking she’d step up to Dad and tell him to go fuck himself the next time he thought to use me for his gain—for the gain of “our family.” She just laughed in my face and told me we all had to go through that, and that she, herself, had made sacrifices for her organization.
Jumping from one bed to another, taking different lovers to sweeten the deal or make a deal happen in the first place.
And I’d realized Melody would have to go through that too—the sweet, inexperienced Melody who believed in true love.
I’d said then I’d keep doing that if only she gave me her word that Melody wouldn’t. She accepted it dismissively, and that was that.
Not once had she asked me if it had left a mark on me.
“Yeah,” I answered Zach now. “But that’s not important, because I’m here tonight, yet again doing what they want to clean my reputation.”
“Why do you sound as though you don’t care about your reputation?”
I downed my drink and lowered the flute on the table with a soft clank, but before I could tell him that I didn’t really care anymore, the server came with more champagne, followed shortly by Mrs. Shelley, one of Mom’s biggest donors.
“Blair, it’s so good to see you,” she said, moving in to air-kiss my cheeks. “Your mom couldn’t be here?”
“Unfortunately, she was unable to come. She apologizes for her absence.”
“I hope it doesn’t have anything to do with the young Lana’s latest scandal.
Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to come myself.
Such unbecoming behavior for such a young lady.
I only came because your mother is also involved.
” She gave me an assessing gaze. “I also heard about that dreadful article. I’m not sure if it’s brave or foolish of you to show up here after that. ”
I barely suppressed a sneer. “I have nothing to hide. Those were pure lies.” I took a swallow of my drink, forcing myself not to chug it down. I could feel anger radiating off Zach, but when I looked at him, he watched Mrs. Shelley with a calm expression that gave nothing away.
She touched her diamond earring. “Erm, of course. Of course.” She shifted her attention to Zach, and her gaze narrowed in distaste at Zach’s scar, making me bristle. “And who is this . . . young man?”
“Apparently a nobody, judging by the way you look at me,” Zach said before I could reply.
I didn’t even have it in me to care that he was rude or that my mother would give me a hard time if she heard about it.
A muscle ticked in his jaw, and I noticed his hand clench under the table, making me want to defend him and tell her it was so fucking wrong of her to look at him as any less because of his scar.
Mrs. Shelley reached for her throat, her eyes wide. “Good Lord! I think I’ll have to talk to your mom about who might be keeping you company when you’re left unsupervised, Blair.”
Zach snorted out a laugh. “Don’t worry. She doesn’t need to be supervised. She’s in . . . good hands.”
Her eyes widened to an almost impossible extent, her bony cheeks growing conspicuously red beneath her blush.
She hmphed and left, and Zach and I looked at each other.
We broke out laughing, and a warm surprise filled me. For the first time, I felt we were on the same side, and it made me want to prolong this moment until I forgot about anything else but this feeling.
But we weren’t friends. We weren’t on the same side.
My smile faded away, and I downed my glass.
When I looked back at him, he was staring at me, and my pulse jumped. His eyes were almost black, stripping me naked of all pretense and composure. He glanced at my lips.
Without a word, he took my glass from me, placed it on the table, and grabbed my hand. He pulled me after him.
“Zach? What are you doing?”
“I want to dance.”
I raised my brows at him. Dance? “No. Let me go. Zach.”
He only tightened his hand around mine, and I didn’t see how I could resist him if I wanted to avoid a commotion. I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to resist it; the idea of dancing with him warmed me all up.
The men around the room turned to follow me with their gazes. Zach drew me closer to him, shifting his hand from my forearm to my lower back, and my belly stirred at that possessive gesture.
We stopped in the middle of the dance floor. His body pressed against mine as he wound his arm around my waist, and I felt myself leaning into his touch as I placed my hands on his shoulders, more than aware of all our points of contact. We began to move.
His shoulders felt so strong under my hands. His hard body was a perfect contrast against mine, and I felt like staying like this forever. I looked around us, starting to fully enjoy dancing with him.
When I brought my attention back to him, I found him watching me closely.
“What?”
“You enjoy their attention, don’t you?” He motioned with his head at the men who were still watching me.
I took in a quick breath. “No, I don’t. And you’re the one who wanted me in the spotlight. You can’t fault me for other men watching me.”
He scoffed. “Don’t tell me you don’t care about it. I’m sure if any of those approached you, you wouldn’t deny them.”
“That’s not true.” I shook my head. “I told you. I’m really not the kind of girl you think I am.”
“No?”
“No. I’m not, but even if I were, I don’t see a problem. I don’t think it would be bad if I wanted to enjoy sex with whomever and however often I wanted it.” I raised my chin. “Besides, I wonder what you’d say if you knew what all the guys I fucked looked like.”
He stopped moving, his eyes narrowing. “What does that mean?”
Fuck. How could I let it slip just like that?
I averted my eyes. “Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything.”
He framed my chin and made me look at him, starting the dance again. “No, tell me.”
Redness spread across my face, and I shook my head, lowering my gaze. Just what the hell did I have to say that for? “It’s none of your business, Zach.”
“I think it’s exactly my business, so why don’t you stop playing around and say it?”
My heart started to pound fast in my chest. How could I tell him something so pathetic? It would only add to the arsenal of information he could use against me.
But he already knew I’d liked him back then. This couldn’t be more embarrassing than that.
“The only guys I slept with, the only guys I was interested in were the ones who . . .”
“Who what?”
The loud drum of my pulse was all I could hear for a moment, and I took a deep breath. “Who looked like you.”
He stopped dancing again, and my throat tightened at the change in the air between us. “What?”
I licked my lips. “Yeah. I would look only at those who reminded me of you, and when I fucked them, I . . .” I swallowed. “I imagined it was you who was fucking me in their place.”
His face went slack. “You fucked them because they looked like me? You imagined me in their place.”
My chest constricted. “Yes.”
“You’re lying.”
“Do you really think I’d lie about something so embarrassing and pathetic?”
His eyes shifted between mine, and slowly, his lips formed a big smile.
Heat poured into my cheeks as his gaze filled with dark satisfaction, and he tightened his arms around me, bringing me even closer to him.
My eyes almost fluttered closed in pleasure as the move brought a wave of his cedar scent to me, our lips so close now we could be kissing if either one of us moved even an inch—
“Blair. What are you doing here with him?” Lana spat out, the furious clicking of her high heels coming to a stop right next to us. Zach and I separated.
“He is right here,” he said, staring her down.
She blinked fast, her mouth opening then closing before she resumed glaring at him. “Why did you come here?”
Zach grinned. “I wanted to see how the other half lives. How all of you go to sleep peacefully knowing you fucked so many people over.”
Her lip trembled as it curled into a sneer. “Keep getting in my way, and I’ll fuck you over next, you fucking loser.”
His grin widened. “Are you really?”
She flinched, all color draining from her face. “What does that mean?”
“You’ll see,” he replied cryptically.
She divided a look between us, clearly afraid of what Zach could do, and then it dawned on me. He wasn’t here because of me. He was here because of Lana.
“Whatever. Enjoy the party.” She spun around to leave, but she did it too quickly, and the tresses of her gown swished in a wide arc, catching the tray of a server passing next to us.
The glasses fell and tipped over the edge of the tray, crashing to the floor.
My hand went to my mouth as the glass broke and sprayed the female server’s shoes.