Chapter 19
Was it insane to need someone you hadn’t known for long? Perhaps. Supposed that made me insane.
On the surface, there should be nothing we had in common.
We’d barely scratched at the little things, like our morning routines or our preference for books over movies, but did we need to have more in common than not?
Could we get along by simply getting along?
We found each other attractive and were able to have a conversation with ease.
Already, this was more than I’d anticipated from a relationship.
I might never be able to explain the power Asher held.
How his well-timed smile or well-intoned word opened my eyes and lungs.
How he heightened my senses and pulled me out of the dull gray world I’d made for myself.
But not being able to explain it didn’t make it less valid, didn’t make the draw to him less intense, nor did it make this drive to be the man he wanted any less essential.
When I’d texted him this morning that I was on my way, the response had been a slew of mangled letters I’d hoped was affirmation he was awake and would be ready. He’d sent a pin of his location before passing out last night, and the place was easy enough to find.
Just as I stopped at the curb, a form, hunched and hidden deep in the hood of a Cressmann U sweater, detached from the shadows of the front porch of an older farmhouse-style home and trudged toward my Range Rover.
“You’re sure this is okay?” Asher asked when he opened the door, glancing around. The street was all but lifeless at this time on Sunday morning.
“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t think anyone here will recognize me.
” I hated the way that sounded. “Asher, you do understand that I’m not embarrassed by you, right?
” He nodded, but it wasn’t as convincing as I’d like.
“I don’t care how young you are. You’re more mature than many my own age.
And I don’t care about your family history or anything my parents would. ”
Asher smiled and nodded again. “You’re not out. I have to keep reminding myself, but I do understand. My best friend isn’t out.”
“Jamie,” I said as if to prove I listened to his every word. I might not have all the cousins memorized yet, but Jamie was important.
“Jamie. Yeah. His daddy used to beat on him because he was a little outwardly gay once, so I understand the need to hide that part of yourself.”
“Jesus.” What was it they said? Things could always be worse? At least my parents wouldn’t beat me if they knew. Not physically, anyway. “I want to know you, Asher.”
He lowered his brows. “I don’t …”
“I want to know all these things about you. Your world is different from mine. I want to see the beautiful and the ugly through your eyes. I want to see where you grew up and meet your friends. Someday, I want to know the people who shaped you into this perfect man.”
A pretty pink stole into his cheeks. “I’m not perfect.”
“Perfect to me.” I reached for his hand and tugged, but he shook it off, chuckling.
“You keep sayin’ pretty shit like that and we’ll never get to breakfast.”
“Right.” I adjusted in my seat, then pulled from the curb and headed for an off-the-beaten-path breakfast place I’d found online. The out-of-the-way spot might give my nerves about being seen with him like this a bit of relief.
“Coffee, and it’s still hot.” I gestured to the steaming cup I picked up on my way.
“Mmmm,” was his only reply.
“Sleep okay?” I asked as I navigated through the neighborhood to the main road.
“Yeah,” he croaked as if he’d rolled out of bed two minutes before I got here. “Just not long enough,” he added through a yawn.
“Was Cressmann U your first choice of college?” I asked, glancing at the oversized sweater he huddled in.
“Yeah.” He paused and cocked his head. “Actually, no. At one point, I was sure I’d go to Auburn. The commute is close enough I could’ve stayed at home, but my stepdad went to Cressmann. When I thought of living in the dorms, getting the whole college experience, I changed my mind.”
“You don’t mind having a dormmate?”
“Nah. He’s only around half the time. I think the dude’s a whore—” He stopped himself. “Eh, I shouldn’t judge. He’s very, uh, selfless with his body and stays out with whichever girl he’s into for the week.”
I swallowed to wet my dry throat. I’d once considered being promiscuous in college. It seemed an acceptable time for a person to sow their oats, to figure out who they were through carnal acts. If Asher wanted the same, I could hardly fault him for it.
“Is that how you envisioned your college life? Having sex every night, perhaps with someone different every night too?”
Asher softly laughed, but at least he didn’t lie. He might never lie to me again. The man was honestly regretful over not coming clean at the beginning. Though, had he, I would’ve avoided him, and we’d never have gotten to know each other as we had.
“Yeah, I mean, okay, yeah. I figured college would be the exact opposite of everything, not just in that one way. There’re no screamin’ kids that need help gettin’ ready for school, but I still can’t break myself from the habit of gettin’ up early.
There’s no one makin’ sure I do my homework and eat, but I do.
” He paused for a breath. “So, sure, I thought I’d finally see some action between the sheets since I’d not had an opportunity for it before, which, like all those other things, didn’t change either. ”
“Sex doesn’t have to be in a bed,” I said before thinking better of it.
Asher laughed out loud. “Finally, I’m wearin’ you down. You got more dirty talk, old man? Hit me with it.”
I shook my head as I grinned. “That’s all you get, Playboy.”
“Awww.”
“For now,” I added in the face of his pouting.
“For now. I’ll take it. Mmmm. Why is the coffee so good?” he asked as he downed the last of it.
“I dipped my dick in it.”
Asher choked and coughed as I snickered. “You did not just say that.”
“Pretty sure I did.”
“All right. Okay. Keep teasin’ me and see where it gets you.”
Jesus, I did not need to do that. Not right now. Not when I was about to be in public. I cleared my throat, kept my grin to a minimum, and stayed quiet until we reached our destination. The place was near the interstate, only open until just after noon, and didn’t take reservations.
The lot was full, and the only spaces were near the back, which I would’ve taken regardless. Asher had pushed his hood back by the time we got there. His dark hair was spiked in every direction, making him impossibly sexier because of it.
“Come on,” I snickered and opened my door before he could get me aroused further.
I wasn’t a prude or too dour. I might’ve appeared to be too straightlaced to have a sense of humor, but I wasn’t.
But with Asher sitting in the passenger seat, looking so delicious and innocent—and knowing he wasn’t—I lost my mind a little.
We had to wait to be seated, which gave everyone plenty of time to check us out. We stood near each other and closer than we might in any other circumstance, but the space was limited, making it necessary.
Asher was dressed appropriately for his age, and everyone probably figured I was a much older brother taking a sibling out for breakfast. Hopefully, anyway.
He eyed me with such heat, I pulled in a breath full of warm air.
“Do you own a hoodie?”
I smirked. “One.”
“Let me guess. It says Harvard on it.”
“Princeton, actually. It’s where I got my master’s in finance.”
“Didn’t go for the MBA?” he asked, reminding me that Asher was a finance major.
“Yes, but I got that from Northwestern.”
“You-you have both?” he stuttered.
I glanced around to make sure everyone was paying attention to their own conversations instead of us.
“Yes. I have both. But if I could only choose one, it would be the finance degree. The curriculum has come a long way from decades ago when an MBA was the best choice. If you plan to go for your master’s and can only choose one, it would be my suggestion. ”
Asher snorted. “I’ll be lucky to get my bachelor’s.”
“What do you mean? I thought you were doing well in your first year.”
“Oh, it’s not about my GPA. College is expensive. My parents are helping me, and I’ve got grants and shit. I’m just saying, if I can’t afford it, I’m not getting strapped with student loan debt.”
I nodded. Wise choice, there, but I hated that he’d have to make a sacrifice like that. College had never been an option for me. Not that I hadn’t wanted it, but it was a given growing up, and my parents paid the way.
“Dorset, party of two,” the hostess called.
“Finally,” Asher groaned.
The dining area offered no privacy with so little space around the tables, chairs backed into others. Perhaps I was spoiled and a bit of a snooty britches myself.
Asher ordered for us since I took the liberty at the bakery weeks ago.
When I told him to get whatever he wanted, he took it to heart.
Two waitresses had to bring the food. Tall stacks of pancakes, one plain, one with fruit, mounds of bacon, eggs, and sausage, a basket of biscuits with a bowl of gravy and one of apple butter, and a carafe of coffee left no spare room.
“What, no danish or fresh fruit?” I asked in jest.
Asher pointed to the sliced berries on the pancakes, then the basket of buttery biscuits. “Yeah, but you’re gettin’ the country version.”
“You do know I grew up in this state, right?”
He cocked his head and slathered more butter on a biscuit. “Did you, though? You were in some sort of pocket dimension with only fancy mansions and private schools.”
He was more right than he knew. I hadn’t dealt with many things people from the South did.
Poverty and poor education were their bad choices, so my parents would say.
Even though both had their parents and their parents’ parents to thank for the base of their wealth.
Someone once said family money was as bad as inbreeding.
I was coming to understand the meaning behind it.