Chapter 23
“What’s wrong?” he asked when I opened the passenger door for him, then added, “Other than this party.”
“Isn’t that enough?” I asked in return, snippier than intended.
Asher nodded but didn’t say more.
Mother didn’t care about Asher. She didn’t want to get to know him. She wanted to get to know his family, his lineage, his class. All so she could then ridicule him for it and remind me why she knew better.
Instead of telling her to fuck off or that I was a grown-ass man and could date who I wanted, I tucked tail like a good boy and requested Asher show me what he planned to wear so I could okay it. How fucked-up was that? I hated that I did it, but that didn’t stop me.
And Asher was perfect, of course. Not that I didn’t want him to be, and not that I shouldn’t have expected otherwise. The high-waisted, black dress pants with a wide leg and the silver blouse with delicate ruffles lining the high neckline were beautiful on him, accentuating his tall, slender build.
He was the only bright spot getting me through this, reminding me what was in store for me at the end of this nightmare. As it should be, I supposed.
With his usual way of finding whatever he could to put a positive spin on this New Year’s Eve party, he had deemed this the ultimate test of whether he could pass as a woman.
It didn’t matter he’d done so several times now, but he understood, without me having to say it, that my parents would be examining him closely to find every flaw they could exploit.
They wouldn’t stop at one. They would call out all of them.
I took his coat and bag and put them on the back seat as he settled in.
Tonight, I picked him up from his aunt’s house.
Asher had comically described his own attempts at putting on makeup and fixing his own hair—donning Ashley, as he called it.
His cousin was up to the task, however. I hadn’t asked what his family thought about all this, as it was another layer that might be one too many for me to handle just yet.
Not one shred of me expected this night to go well. This would be nothing short of a shitshow, and I had no doubt my mood would plummet rapidly. I had this moment and only a few minutes more to elevate my disposition as high as possible before it took a nosedive.
I didn’t take it, though. I didn’t deserve it. I’d knowingly and willingly gone along with this dumb idea to date Ashley, and it got me exactly where I expected. Why shouldn’t it?
Deceptions. Lies. Scams. They could only last so long until the truth was found out.
I stole glances at Asher’s beauty, trying like hell to let it fill me as it normally would. His makeup was light and yet bold. I didn’t mind kissing his lipstick-stained mouth, knowing they were his and not one of the women I had forced myself to date.
He didn’t comment as the city lights faded. He didn’t ask where we were going. He didn’t ask anything. I hated it. I’d done this to him, killed his innate liveliness.
When I pulled into the turn lane to wait for an opening in traffic, I reached for his hand. He startled at the touch, not expecting it since I was being that much of an ass, apparently. He turned to face me and smiled softly.
“Hey,” I said. “You look beautiful, as always.”
“Thank you.”
I turned into my parents’ neighborhood. The gates were closed, so I made for the lane to use my code to enter, bypassing the guard’s station.
“Fancy,” Asher whispered.
I snorted. “Yes, obnoxiously so.”
The houses nearer the entrance were smaller mini mansions, most still lit with Christmas lights.
Asher gasped and pointed. I couldn’t tell if it was the size of the homes or the decorations that made him smile, but with each one, I relaxed.
Asher. The one to seduce me, my playboy and much younger boyfriend, had a lot to teach me about life.
Though we both dreaded this dinner, he found every spot of joy, no matter how small.
I’d never thought of myself as privileged in a negative way, but seeing him so open about life and new experiences made me wonder just how much I had shied away from because of that very reason.
I was private school educated. My friends were selected from other boys with families of a certain class. I’d never struggled, never had to deal with public settings with varied demographics. My entire life had been limited. Had any of those limitations made me smile as Asher did now?
Before we ventured deeper into the neighborhood, I stopped in front of a random house.
Asher turned to me. “Is this it?”
“No.”
When I moved closer, he reacted, doing the same. God, I loved that. I loved how he read me. I loved how he gave of himself as if he knew exactly how much I needed to take in any given moment. I touched his slim neck with my fingertips, then carded them through the soft hair at the back of his head.
“Thank you seems moderately lacking for tonight, but I’ll start with it.
” He glanced away, and a coy smile played on his lips.
He didn’t say anything, letting me take my time, and after a grounding inhale of his sweet, sugar cookie scent, I said, “Thank you for doing this. Thank you for being open and supportive. This must be abhorrent, the pretending, the putting up with my closeted ass, but thank you for doing it.”
Asher dipped his chin and shrugged, but the gesture was halfhearted at best, a push for nonchalance.
“Momma told me to save the best for last. You know, like, eat the foods I hated first and save the best for last. Do my homework first and save the best part of the weekend for last, things like that. But then I had a cousin doing just that. Stetson. Honestly, that was his name.”
I grinned and said nothing. Of course he had a cousin who’d taught him something he now lived by, and I wasn’t about to interrupt. I would never interrupt, because he always had a purpose.
“Stetson was one of the few in my family that broke out of the mold. He got a good job while he was down on the coast with an oil company. He banked everything he made, had a hefty nest egg. Never married, never had kids, and never bought a house. On holidays, he joked that he was saving his best life for last. He was on his way too, but he never made it. All that savin’ he’d done didn’t help at all when some drunk ran a red light. ”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Asher waved it away as he usually did. “Momma is a wealth of insights, but in this one, I’ve taken my own approach.” Asher smoothed his hand over my cheek. “I like to sprinkle the best in with the life I’m makin’, livin’ my best life now, because tomorrow is never guaranteed.”
Asher thumbed over my lower lip, and I kissed the pad while his smile grew.
“I don’t mind doin’ this for you. Yeah, your family ain’t gonna like me”—he laid the accent on thick—“but I get to sprinkle you in with it. The best part in all this is you.”
Every moment we spent together deepened the emotions surrounding him. Awe, surprise, and yes, love. Asher was the most impressive person I’d ever met. I wanted to keep him. Forever.
“I don’t want to ruin your makeup.” I curled my hand around his and pressed his fingers to my lips. “But once this dinner is over …”
Asher touched his teeth to his lower lip and groaned. “Ruin me, baby.”
I chuckled. “None of that. I don’t want to deal with my family and an erection at the same time.”
“Or that erection might be just the distraction you need to get through it.” He winked.
I kissed his fingers once more, then turned to face forward. We had delayed enough. Mother would have something to say about it, no doubt.
“The man beside me will be all the distraction I need,” I said.
Asher righted in his seat, and we set off again.
The homes on either side of the street grew steadily larger the deeper into the neighborhood we traveled. My parents’ house was just visible through the iron gate barring the drive, enough so others could see what they could never obtain.
“Holy shit,” Asher whispered as the gate creaked open. “You grew up here?”
“No, but that house had been much the same. They moved when I left for college. My siblings grew up here.”
“Right. You said there was an age gap between you and them.”
I pulled through the curved drive. “Yes. I was the baby my parents needed to complete the image they were after. Mary and Paul were the children they wanted.”
“You don’t sound bitter at all,” Asher said honestly without an ounce of sarcasm.
“I’m not. I know my place in their life. I know what they expect of me.”
“But what do you expect from you?”
I wasn’t sure if he wanted an answer, and in any case, I’d have to think about it. “Here we go,” I said instead. “I’ll come around and get you.”
Asher nodded, transitioning smoothly into his role of catered-to girlfriend.
As I rounded the Range Rover, a valet stepped forward to take my key.
Mother’s New Year’s Eve dinner party was something of a tradition for their social circles.
There would be near one hundred people here tonight.
Hopefully, enough of a crowd I could keep plenty of bodies between Asher and my parents.
Asher smiled sweetly when I took his hand as he stepped out. He let me help him into his coat, then shivered and curled into my side.
The house was lit by spotlights and wreaths at every window. A huge tree was placed over what was normally a fountain and decorated for the season.
“Did your family drive around Christmas light lookin’ every year? Mine did.”
“No, we never did that. My parents hosted holiday parties all season for as long as I can remember. Other than charity events, they never took me to see anything festive.”
“Were they ever fun? The parties?”
“Depends on your definition of fun,” I muttered.