6. Done Her Well In Life
DONE HER WELL IN LIFE
On Wednesday afternoon, Skye finished loading her groceries. She was still getting used to not having to run to the store every few days again.
Though it was a nice excuse to get out of her apartment.
She shut the trunk with her four reusable bags in, then climbed into the driver’s seat, buckled up and started the engine.
The gas light came on, reminding her she couldn’t push off that chore another day.
She pulled out, went a mile, then into the gas station and next to the pump.
After unscrewing the cap and shoving the nozzle in, she stared off into space at the road in front of her.
Cars were stopped at the light, others turning, but the sound of a motorcycle caught her attention.
She’d noticed him behind her earlier, then it seemed to turn the corner and circle back.
Probably lost or something.
But when it pulled into the gas station, not into a pump to get gas, but next to her car on the outside of it and stopped, her shoulders tensed.
Why would anyone be doing that?
It wasn’t as if they were blocking her in.
She just ignored him and continued to pump the gas.
In broad daylight she wasn’t going to stress too much about someone being a dick.
But the minute his helmet lifted, she got her answer.
“Sean?” she asked.
“I thought that was you, Skye.”
“How did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t. Not until I saw you pull out at the light by the store. Or I thought it was you.”
Her brother. Her biological brother.
He’d snuck out the night of the fire when he’d been told to stay home.
He never listened and it saved his life.
For years she tried to stay in contact with him.
Not that they were ever close, but it wasn’t like they hated each other.
They lived in constant hell together.
But he’d been eighteen when their parents died. Too old for the foster system. Too old to collect social security like she got for years also.
She’d thought for sure the Lancasters would take him in until graduation, which was only a few months before school ended, but they hadn’t and she didn’t know why.
She never asked. They must have had their reasons and she believed it had more to do with the fact that Tate was the same age as Sean, they went to school together, and didn’t get along.
Sean never got along with anyone, and his senior year he was spending more time with kids out of school.
That was where he ended up. In some house with them before he left the area.
“It’s me. How have you been?”
“Good,” he said. “Are you just visiting your new family?”
It was the way he said it. New family.
Like it was her choice or in her control what happened to them. Or his resentment that the Lancasters treated her so well.
She’d tried to stay in contact with Sean after the fire. He was the one who pushed her away.
He was the one who wouldn’t answer her calls or texts once he graduated and they didn’t see each other in school anymore.
It was just another grief she had to deal with. The last part of her old life.
Which made saying yes to being adopted so much nicer.
“I’m living here now,” she said. “You?”
“In the area,” Sean said.
Just like Sean. Never one to really give her much of an answer.
“How long have you been back?” she asked. “Last I knew you’d left town.”
“Couple of years. What are you doing here?”
The pump clicked, she returned the nozzle and shut the tab on the car.
“You mean like what did I come back for or what am I doing in terms of work?”
“The second,” Sean said.
Sean was searching her eyes. Looking more than she was used to.
She couldn’t figure out what was going through his brain and never had been able to before.
Sometimes seeing him brought back so much of that night.
The memories of it all. His fight with their father. Her cooking dinner and cleaning up, going to her room to finish schoolwork.
His TV had been on, she remembered that.
She didn’t remember when she woke up if she still heard it or not. Probably not, since it had a timer.
It wasn’t the first time he’d done that. Put his TV on, snuck out when everyone was sleeping and came home later.
She only knew because their mother had caught him out before, not that Jenny Murphy ever checked in on her kids when she came home from work.
No loving gestures to tuck them in or kiss them on the forehead. See if they were snug in tight for the night.
Not like Carrie Lancaster did, even when she was sixteen.
“I still have the same job I had before. But I’m remote now. The company didn’t want to pay for the office space when most of us could work from home. I figured I might as well move where it’s a fraction of the cost and keep the same pay.”
“And back here is where you wanted to come?” Sean asked.
“It’s not like I had anywhere else better to go. I had to stay in New York State.”
She didn’t have a lot of friends. No one from high school she still talked to. No one from college either.
She’d always been somewhat of a loner and it’d done her well in life.
Kind of like Sean. A loner that no one understood. Whether he did well in his life or not, she didn’t really know.
She moved around to the other side of her car, shocked that there was part of her that wanted some kind of connection to Sean.
Something she’d craved for years and just never got. Part of putting it all behind her, maybe.
Or maybe Sean understood she only wanted it back then when it was just the two of them alone.
Could be she hoped that he’d be that big brother who would step up and say he’d be there for her. That he’d watch out and protect her.
She didn’t get any of that until she’d moved into Jim and Carrie’s house.
Then she learned what it was really like to have older brothers.
To have boys in her life act like men.
His eyes were still looking her over. Like there was so much he wanted to say but wasn’t sure he should.
“Are you single?” Sean asked.
“I am. You?”
“I’ve got a girlfriend. She’s got a kid.”
“That’s nice. What’s her name? How long have you been together?”
Sean’s lips twisted some, he bit his tongue, then asked, “Do you really care?”
“If I didn’t, I’d just get in my car and drive away. You know, like you did to me years ago.”
There was more hesitation there, then finally he said, “If you want to talk, we can get some food.”
She wasn’t going to turn it down.
“I need to put my groceries away. Can we meet somewhere?”
“Yeah, sure.” He turned his head. “How about Fire Mission around the corner?”
She didn’t know where that was, but would look it up quickly. “Sounds good.” She looked at her watch. It was three. “Can we meet there in thirty minutes? I don’t live that far away and it won’t take long.”
“I’ve got a few errands. I’ll see you there.”
She hopped back in her car and took off, raced up the stairs to her apartment, put her food away in record time, pulled up the name of the place Sean told her and saw it was a taproom. Figures.
Didn’t matter though. It was about connecting with her past, not getting a beer.
Maybe he’d remember something about that night.
She parked at Fire Mission Smokehouse & Taproom and waited for Sean to return.
After ten minutes, she was positive he was going to blow her off. It’d be nothing new for him to do that.
And it wasn’t as if she had his number to reach out and see what was holding him up.
Just when she was getting ready to leave, his motorcycle pulled in and she caught herself smiling.
She got out, walked toward him and waited while his helmet was hung on the back.
“I didn’t think you were going to show.”
“I almost didn’t.”
Her heart sank. She didn’t know why.
She should have expected that from him.
“Why didn’t you just turn around then?”
No way she was letting him know how it made her feel.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sara told me to come.”
“Sara?”
“My girlfriend. I called her quick. Told her what was going on and that I wouldn’t be home for dinner if I went.”
He opened the door and held it for her. “Did she know you had a sister?”
“No,” he said. “I don’t have a sister anymore, do I? Your last name isn’t Murphy.”
She sighed. “What was I supposed to do, Sean? You walked away from me. I didn’t do it. You did. I had no one. Then here is this family who wants me. For once in my life, it was nice to feel wanted. I’m sorry if you don’t like that.”
Or that he couldn’t be happy for her. But she shouldn’t have expected any differently.
“It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just what it is. Things didn’t happen the same for both of us.”
There was no arguing the facts or the flat way he said it.
The kid who had anger in him all the time didn’t seem like that as a man.
“It doesn’t mean we can’t change things now,” she argued. “It’s just a last name.”
He didn’t look as if he believed her, but he walked in and sat across from her at the table.
“I don’t know. Let’s just get through dinner first.”
The server came over quickly, took their drink orders. Sean got a beer, she got a soda.
“That’s fine,” she said. “I don’t suppose I can get your number?”
“I’ll let you know.”
If he was going to be like that. If he was going to keep her on the hook and make her beg, then she’d ask her questions,
Who knew if she’d see him again?
“Do you remember anything from that night?”
“What night?”
“The night of the fire,” she said. “If I’m not going to see you again, then I’m going to ask you now. It’s on my mind lately. Things didn’t make sense.”
He frowned, then picked up his beer when it was set down and took a long drink.
One long enough to tell her that this was like water to him and not a special occasion.
Guess she’d find out if her brother took after her parents or not.
Their food order was placed quickly while she waited for him to answer her.
“What didn’t make sense? The house burned down. Mom and Dad. Oh sorry, Jenny and Derek.”
“Don’t be an ass,” she hissed.
“I’m not. Again, stating facts.”
He was calmly talking, not like he ever did before.
“You’re different,” she said suddenly.
“Meaning?” He took another gulp of his beer.
“Meaning that normally you’d bite my head off. The words are kind of the same, but not the tone or actions.”
“I’ve changed,” Sean said. “I spent way too many years being angry and it left me alone. I learned if you’re a dick to people, they are a dick back. I can’t change everything about myself, but I can change my delivery. Or at least I’m trying.”
So she’d cut him some slack.
“I’m happy for you, Sean.”
“Are you really?”
“Yeah. We both lived through a horrible ordeal. We’re both on the other side. Does it matter how we got there?”
“I guess not.”
“Like you said. Let’s just get through this meal. Do you remember anything about that night?”
There was no reason to push him more on his changes in life. She wouldn’t want anyone doing it to her.
“I’m not sure what there is you don’t understand. You woke up and jumped out a window and broke your leg. I came home when they were putting the fire out. The police brought me to the hospital to be with you. Don’t you remember that?”
“I do.” And the relief she’d felt when he walked in.
The confusion that followed.
Until he’d told her he’d snuck out around eleven when he thought everyone was sleeping. She was calling 911 at two in the morning. They’d said the fire might have only been going for ten minutes at that point.
Sean came into the ER hours after that. By then everything was a blur.
“Then what are you trying to find out?”
“I guess it didn’t make sense how the fire started.”
“Mom left a cigarette going. She did it all the time.”
Must have remembered that wrong.
“She did?”
“All the time. She’d suck it until there wasn’t anything left and put it in the tray. She never stubbed it out.”
She squinted her eyes, the memory flashing in her brain.
Sean was right. Her mother never did.
Maybe she didn’t notice it because she never smoked.
Her shoulders slumped. She must be overthinking this.
But that still didn’t explain the papers.
“I didn’t remember. I suppose I didn’t pay attention. Do you think maybe one of their friends came over later after we were in bed? Did you hear anything? Maybe they left one going before they left.”
Sean sighed. “I don’t remember anyone coming over, but I didn’t hear all that much either. I had the TV on before I snuck out. You were sleeping. What if someone was there and left it? It’s still an accident.”
“They could have come forward,” she argued.
Her brother laughed. “Really? You remember their friends, right? No. No one was coming forward. Hell, they might not have any reason to think it was their cigarette either. It’d still be an accident.
Don’t go down that path, Skye. There’s nothing to find but shitty memories that neither of us needs or wants. I’ve moved on, you should too.”
“You’re right. Tell me about you. About Sara. If this is the only chance I get to talk to you, we can at least catch up, right?”
Sean hesitated like he didn’t believe what he was hearing.
Or maybe didn’t want to open himself up.
“I met Sara at work,” Sean said, then continued to talk more than she ever remembered before.