40. Trying To Break Free
TRYING TO brEAK FREE
The smell wouldn’t leave.
No matter how many times she washed her hands, changed her clothes, or scrubbed at her skin, it clung to her. The smoke, ash, melted plastic, scorched metal. Fire. It lived in her hair, in her lungs, in the back of her throat where fear still burned.
She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her hands.
They wouldn’t stop shaking.
Everyone kept telling her she was lucky. That it could have been worse. That Sara was alive. That Sean was in custody. That it was over.
But her body didn’t believe any of it.
Ash had brought her back home after she’d been looked over by the EMTs. The cut didn’t need stitches. Or if it did, she wasn’t going to the ER.
Ash said he’d make sure Blaze stopped over to take care of it. She was too tired to argue.
Too weak to even care.
But she’d stripped with his assistance, his hands guiding her in the shower with him. Almost holding her up while he helped wash away the terror she’d just lived... again.
Yet now, as she lay on the bed, every time she closed her eyes, she saw flames licking up the walls. Felt the heat crawling across her skin. Heard Ash’s voice cutting through the chaos, sharp and furious and terrified all at once.
Skye.
She pressed her palms together, trying to ground herself, but all she could think about was the way he’d looked at her when they’d finally made it outside.
Like he’d almost lost her.
And the worst part?
She’d known he might have. If she hadn’t thought fast enough.
If she hadn’t remembered what she’d done last time to get out.
Only this time, the windows didn’t open at Sara’s. The lock wouldn’t budge.
And rather than stand there fighting it, she grabbed the first thing she could and slammed it through the glass again and again until it shattered. Until she saw freedom within her reach.
She’d walked into that house knowing something was wrong and convinced herself she could handle it.
That she needed to. Because if she didn’t, then been wrong again, she’d end up accusing the wrong person.
It would have destroyed another life with suspicion and fear.
Another shot at a future relationship to the one person tying her to her past.
Then the realization slammed into her.
She didn’t need Sean to tie her to a past she’d been trying to break free of.
She had Ash from her past. Corbin, and Tate. Keegan, Holden, Brenna, Carrie and Jim.
They were her family.
And they were going to light into her just as much as Ash had done.
She almost died because she didn’t trust herself enough to ask for help.
The door creaked open behind her. She didn’t have to look to know it was Ash.
The bed dipped beside her. He didn’t touch her at first. Didn’t rush. Just sat there, solid and warm and close enough that she could feel him breathing.
Solid, immovable, and telling her everything she’d fought for years.
That when it mattered, when it counted, when you found the person who loved you enough, they’d never leave your side.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded. Then shook her head.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I think… I think I will be. Eventually. I got a text from Sara. She’s in shock. She lost her home, the man she loved. She’s going to stay with family and hopefully she can move on. I think she wants to keep in contact with me, but I’m not sure right now.”
His hand found hers, slow and careful, like he was afraid she might disappear if he grabbed her too tight.
“You have to make that decision, but no one says it has to be today.”
She shook her head. He was right. There was no reason to rush anything.
“I should have waited. Or told you everything that was going through my mind. I was ready to call you on the drive over and then decided to just send the text.” The words spilled out before she could stop them.
“About Sean. About everything. I thought if I could prove it first, if I had something solid—”
“You don’t have to explain,” he cut in gently. As if he realized now how shaken she truly was.
Or maybe he was just as much. And now that it was over, it was easier to set anger and frustration aside.
“I do,” she insisted, finally looking at him. “Because you almost paid for my mistakes.”
His jaw tightened. “You didn’t make this happen. And I didn’t pay for anything. I knew what I was doing going in for you.”
“But I walked into it,” she whispered. “I walked in ignoring what common sense was telling me. I should have been smart enough to put this together before. I let emotions cloud me.
“Tate and I questioned Sean,” he admitted.
“You did? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because he voluntarily talked to us. He showed us proof of being at work during the fires. There was no cause or reason not to believe him.”
“But he lied.”
“He did. And because of that, I let emotions cloud my judgement too.”
“I’m glad you believe me. That you came for me.”
“I always would have,” he said without hesitation.
That certainty hit harder than the fire ever could.
She swallowed, her throat burning. “You could have died. You weren’t in gear. You came charging in and I wasn’t even letting you take me out first.”
“I wasn’t letting any of us die.” He reached up, brushing his thumb beneath her eye, catching a tear she hadn’t realized had fallen. “Skye… I need you to hear this. You’re not alone anymore.”
She let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know how to stop.”
“Yeah, you do. You did it once. You came home already,” he said.
“I was scared to do it.”
“But you still did. So use that strength to move forward.”
Her phone was ringing in the other room. “I should get that.” He stood and held his hand out for hers. “It’s Tate,” she said when she picked it up. She pushed the bar to the side to answer. “Hi.”
“Do you want to come down and talk to Sean?” Tate asked her. “I’d prefer you don’t, but Mom says you might need to. That you might need to hear what he has to say.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Has he said anything at all? Why he did it? Did he even admit to them all?”
“He’s not talking,” Tate said. “But we’ve got enough. We’ll get more. You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to,” she said. “I need to understand.”
“Then have Ash bring you down. Keegan is here with me. Everyone else will be here also if you choose to do it.”
There was no telling them not to come. They were going to anyway. “I’ll be there soon,” she said. She put the phone down. “They said I can talk to him. He hasn’t talked to anyone.”
“Are they using you again to get a confession? Because I’m going to have something to say about that.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Tate said he’d rather I didn’t, but my mom thinks I need it. She’s right. I need to know. I need all the damn answers to the questions I’ve had for years. For months. I’m not going to be able to move on until I have this conversation.”
“Then I’m going with you.”
“I’d have it no other way.”
Five minutes later they were in his truck and driving toward the police station. “You can still change your mind,” he said.
“I know, but I won’t. I can’t. Don’t try to talk me out of it. Please.”
The rest of the drive was in silence.
Silence had always been her happy place.
But now it was just another lonely sound that felt more like fear.
Fear of what she was going to hear. Of what she’d find out.
Then Ash’s hand landed on hers when he parked and it was as if he snapped his fingers and it was gone.
“You got this,” he said rather than trying to persuade her to return home.
“I do,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing down.
He pulled the door open for her, all eyes of those working on her, sympathy in their expressions, and someone smiling and telling her good job.
Maybe she needed that from a stranger.
From someone to not judge her on her actions today.
Not if it finally put this all to bed.
“Come in,” Tate said. “This way.”
“I want to go in with you,” Ash said.
“No,” she said. “You can all, like, watch, right?”
“If that is what you want,” Tate said. Ash shot him a look that said it’s not what he wanted. “I’m not arguing with you. I’ve already been arguing with everyone else. He’s cuffed to the table and there will be another officer in there. They want him to talk. Maybe he will with her.”
“So she’s being used again?” Ash asked, his voice sharp as she’d felt inside.
“No,” Tate said. Her brother, her adopted brother who felt more real to her than the man locked in that room, reached for her arm. “You can leave. I mean it. I would rather you do.”
“No,” she said. “I want to do this.”
Tate opened the door. Skye walked in and sat, then didn’t say a word. Nothing.
Just looked at the man in front of her and wondered how the hell they were born to the same people.
“What do you want?” Sean asked.
“Answers. Why? Why did you do this?”
“Do what?”
“Don’t play that game with me,” she hissed. “You tried to kill me today. Not just me, but Sara. She thought you were going to get married. She thought you loved her. She thought you were cheating on her and that is why she came to me. That’s it. Do you even care about her?”
Sean held her stare. “She shouldn’t have been snooping around.”
That told her exactly what she’d thought all along.
“You have never cared for anyone but yourself. You’re no different from the two people who birthed us. You tried to say you changed, you tried to prove it and like an idiot I believed it. But you can’t change who you are. Ever.”
He snorted, his head going back. “Really? See, that’s it right there. You think you’re better than me. You got a home and I didn’t. And you couldn’t wait to put me behind you.”
“I was fifteen. I had no control over what happened that night. Nothing. It was an accident.”
He laughed. A sinister laugh. One that chilled her to the bone.
One that made her realize Sean had evil in him all along and you couldn’t push that out no matter how much you try.
That he just played with her. With everyone.
“Was it an accident?” she asked, her words slower than she’d thought they’d come out.
“It was.”