Chapter 19 #2
Going to Jasper’s would be foolish, to eat a meal or otherwise.
No. I can’t.
But it would seem my brain and my mouth are on two different wavelengths, because before I know what’s happening, I hear myself say, “Sure.”
Goddamnit.
Based on the slight furrow of his brow, my answer takes Jasper by surprise. “Okay.”
My hands hang heavy at my sides. “Okay.”
We stand here for a moment, looking mildly confused while saying nothing.
Finally, Jasper clears his throat and vaguely gestures toward the door. “Should we, uh…go?”
My lips are pressed into a tight line as I nod. “Yup. Sure.”
The walk from the office to his house only takes a few minutes. When we step inside, the first thing I notice is how quiet it is. No antique clocks tick, tick, ticking. No creaky doors or floorboards. No TV set on some random channel to drown out our own thoughts.
It’s unsettling.
But also, a little peaceful, too.
I try not to focus too much on the latter as I follow Jasper through the living room toward the kitchen.
It’s wild to think about how long we’ve known each other, to think about all the time we spent together when we were younger, and how this is the first time I’ve ever been inside this house.
The closest I’ve ever gotten was standing on the porch, and even that only happened once, when I came back to town.
“You can have a seat,” Jasper says, tipping his chin toward the row of bar stools behind the counter.
I slide onto one without a word and watch as he moves around the kitchen.
First, to the oven to turn it on. Then to the fridge, pulling out a glass container filled with meat and another one that looks to have carrots and potatoes.
He reaches for the speaker sitting next to the microwave, and a minute later, music fills the room.
The volume is loud enough to make out the slow country song playing, but low enough to hold a conversation if we wanted to.
My heart pounds hard and fast, but I don’t understand why.
Nothing’s even happening. Jasper’s heating me up some food.
Big deal. He’s heating it up for himself too.
I’ll eat, then go home. Simple. My mouth is drier than the Sahara Desert.
I swallow once, then twice. It does nothing. My tongue feels like sandpaper.
“What do you got for drinks?” I ask.
Jasper’s back is to me as he stands next to the stove, doing something I can’t see. “There’s water, obviously. Soda, beer, lemonade. There might be a sports drink or two.”
“Cool. I’ll grab myself a soda while you’re doing that.” I slide off the stool and walk toward the fridge.
“Nah, don’t worry, man. I’ll grab—ngh!”
Before I realize what’s happening, Jasper slams into me with enough force to knock the wind out of me, and he stumbles back a step. My hand immediately reaches out to steady him, but in doing so, I unintentionally drag his body against mine again.
“Shit, I’m so sorry,” he mutters in a hurry.
“All good.” My tone is clipped, and my heart thunders against my ribs.
It takes a few seconds for me to realize my hand is still pressed against the small of Jasper’s back.
I can feel his quick, shallow breaths against my chest. His scent fills my nostrils, and I hate the way I inhale a little deeper because of it.
A shiver rolls down my spine, spreading heat through my groin.
I swallow, trying to bring some moisture back to my mouth.
It doesn’t work.
His eyes lift to mine, the warm, familiar dark browns nearly black with how blown his pupils are.
My pulse pounds so hard it hurts. Neither of us moves.
Neither of us lets go. This is the part where I should step back.
The part where I should put some much-needed distance between us and take my ass home.
If I was a smart man, I would’ve left the second Jasper invited me over.
I would’ve walked away from the office and the letters proving our grandparents destroyed two families because they couldn’t stop choosing each other.
They should’ve walked away, but they didn’t.
And I’m smart enough not to make that same mistake.
Or at least I thought I was.
Because I can’t stop looking at his mouth.
The same mouth I’ve spent almost twenty years trying to forget.
The same one I spent many nights kissing before the world fell apart.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, every sensible part of me is screaming to leave.
To remember who we are. And what we’ve survived.
But standing this close to him, feeling his breath against mine, looking into eyes that somehow still feel like coming home after all these years, every reason sounds like an excuse.
And maybe that’s all they’ve ever been. For the first time in a long damn time, I’m tired of surviving.
I’m tired of running. I’m tired of pretending I don’t still feel something every time this man looks at me.
So, fuck it.
Jasper’s lips are warm, soft, and so goddamn real when I press my mouth into his. The entire world stops for one suspended heartbeat before crashing back. My hand slides into his hair, fingers finding purchase on the thick, blond strands, while his grip tightens on my waist.
His tongue slips into my mouth, taking control before I realize what’s happening.
I groan when his flavor explodes on my tastebuds.
Jasper kisses me with fervor, and I give it back with just as much hunger, deepening it immediately.
This kiss is the result of years of tension, history, and wanting things neither of us should’ve wanted resurfacing all at once.
It’s messy, and chaotic, and desperate. I can’t get enough.
My heart is going insane. My lungs forget how to function.
I want closer.
And more. So much more.
Jasper makes a rough, needy sound low in his throat that sends a bolt of heat down my spine.
My body feels alive—more alive than it’s felt in a while.
I walk us backward until he hits the counter.
His arms wrap around my neck, holding me impossibly tight as he tilts his head to the side, letting me deepen the kiss.
He rips his mouth away too soon, but before I can rectify that, Jasper’s knees connect with the floor as his hands find my waistband.
Peering up at me with eyes overflowing with desire, he slowly works my sweats down my legs, his gaze never leaving mine.
The whole room—hell, the whole world—vanishes.
All I can think about is Jasper and this visceral need to consume him.
Once my pants pool around my ankles, he does the same with my briefs.
Heat floods my system as my cock twitches.
It’s already hard by the time it’s freed.
Jasper’s gaze drops, and he wets his lips with his tongue as he wraps a steady hand around my length.
His touch feels incredible as he slowly strokes me.
Seeming to need this as much as I do, Jasper wastes no time closing his full lips around the tip.
I groan when I feel his tongue swirl around before he sinks lower, taking more of me into his mouth.
The sight of my cock in Jasper’s mouth is almost as good as the way it feels.
It’s easy to lose myself to him. To this moment.
Once he takes me to the back of his throat, he moans, the sound vibrating through my body.
His eyes are wet, and spit dribbles down his chin.
He sets a mind-numbing pace that has my toes curling.
Before I do something stupid, like come too soon, I take a step back and pull Jasper up by his shirt.
My mouth crashes into his so hard our teeth clank, but neither of us seems to mind.
He drags my shirt up, breaking apart long enough to get it over my head before I do the same.
It takes no time at all before we’re both naked and grinding against each other.
I devour Jasper, my tongue hungrily thrusting into his mouth.
Reaching down, I lift one of his legs, bringing it to my hip so we line up better.
My body is on fire, the feel of his stiff, thick cock gliding against mine unreal.
I can’t remember the last time I felt this desperate.
Jasper rests his forehead against mine, his heavy breaths mingling with mine. “I need you,” he groans. “I need to feel you inside me.”
My cock twitches as another wave of heat settles over my body.
Those words coming from his mouth make my brain forget how to work.
I lose the ability to speak as my heart thunders.
Thankfully, Jasper doesn’t wait for a response before he stands and turns away from me.
His hands flatten against the counter as he peers at me over his shoulder.
The sight before me has my mouth watering and my dick harder than it’s probably ever been.
Back muscles bunch as he arches for me beautifully.
His ass is perfectly round and smooth. It drives me fucking wild.
My hands squeeze the meaty flesh, spreading him open for me to admire.
“Condom?” I ask, lifting my gaze.
Jasper’s shoulders drop. “No. You?”
I groan. “Nope.”
“Fuck.” He pauses for a moment, then says, “I got tested after my last partner. All negative. If you want…”