Chapter 24 #3
My brother and I sit quietly for a while.
I don’t think either of us knows what to say, not after today.
But the silence gives me time to think, whether I want to or not.
My mind drifts back to Sunday night. Back to the letters, and Jasper, and us crossing a line I never thought we’d step foot over again.
A chill shoots down my spine, and despite my best efforts, my heart clenches.
I don’t know how to feel. We haven’t talked since that night, which is partially my fault since I ran out of town.
Then, with my father worsening, I haven’t even been to work in days.
I don’t know what to expect when we finally talk about all of it.
I know I should tell him it was a mistake, that it never should’ve happened… That I regret it.
But is that true? Or is that just what I’m telling myself? I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head, breathing out a sigh.
“What’s on your mind, Brother?”
It’s right there on the tip of my tongue to tell him nothing. It’s what I’ve always done. It’s what I should do now. But goddamn, I’m going crazy.
“I slept with Jasper.” The words fall out before I can stop them.
Truett chokes on his water. “What?”
I laugh weakly. “You heard me.”
It was never difficult to keep my mouth shut when we were teenagers. With the way our families were, I couldn’t trust anyone, so I bottled it up because I didn’t want to lose what I had with Jasper. But now that I’m older, I don’t give a shit about the feud or about what anyone else thinks.
Besides, from what I can tell, Jasper and Truett seem to be on much friendlier terms than our family members who came before us.
I can feel the weight of his stare on the side of my face, but I continue to look out into the pasture.
My heart is racing, and my palms are slick.
I’ve never told anybody about Jasper and I having sex back in the day.
Not a soul. Lyle knew we hung out, but he was ten and naive.
He had no idea of the feelings I had for Jasper.
He shakes his head, breathing out a small chuckle. “So this is the real reason you high-tailed it to Honey Creek?”
I snort. “Maybe a little.”
“Wow.” There’s a solid pause, and I finally turn my head and meet his gaze. Truett scrubs a hand over his jaw. “When did it happen? How did it happen?”
I think back to the office—the bourbon, the letters, and how it felt like my life had been flipped upside down. Then I think back to the kitchen. To Jasper’s mouth. And the way everything felt inevitable.
“I don’t really know,” I murmur honestly.
“You just…”
Nodding, I say, “Yeah, kind of.”
Truett lets out a long whistle. “Huh.”
I can’t help but chuckle. “That’s all you’ve got?”
“Give me a minute,” he says with a small laugh. “I’m still processing.” Me too. Truett then looks at me carefully, and the corner of his mouth lifts. “So…how was it?”
I should lie. Maybe if I tell myself—and Truett—that it was terrible and a huge mistake, I’ll eventually believe it. But I don’t.
“It was…amazing.” The smile that tugs at Truett’s mouth catches me off guard. “What?”
“I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you’ve always looked at him.”
My stomach drops as my eyebrows pinch. “What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Chesney. You think I didn’t notice?” He laughs softly. “You were fifteen and thought you were so subtle.”
“I wasn’t?” What is happening?
“Chesney…” My brother gives me a look. “You disappeared every chance you got.”
I stare at my brother, none of this making sense. “You knew?”
“Well, I knew something.” He shrugs. “Figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”
The realization sits in my gut like a lead weight. All those years, the secret trips to the creek, the excuses… He knew. Or at least suspected.
Running my fingers through my hair, I laugh once. “I guess you know now.”
He nods toward the house. “What changed?”
“Our grandma,” I say, thinking about the letters. “And Clyde Smith.”
Truett frowns, confusion wrinkling his forehead. “What about them?”
I tell him everything. The box. The letters. The affair. The real reason behind the feud that nobody actually understood anymore. By the time I get through it all, he’s staring at me with his mouth hanging open.
“You’re joking.”
Chuckling, I say, “I wish. Could’ve gone my whole life without seeing those letters.”
“That’s… That’s why?
I nod. “We think so. It’s the only reason that makes sense.”
Truett leans back against the porch post. “Jesus.”
“Tell me about it.”
Silence settles over us for a long moment. Then Truett laughs.
“Our families have hated each other for decades because two people fell in love,” I murmur. The irony isn’t lost on either of us. I stare in the direction where the cabins sit. Toward Wind River, and Jasper, and a future I still can’t quite bring myself to imagine. “I don’t know what happens next.”
Truett follows my gaze. “No.” He smiles gently. “But for what it’s worth…”
I look at my brother, my heart thundering. “What?”
“Jasper’s a good man. A great man. And had there been no feud, I think Grandpa would’ve liked him.” He pauses before he adds, softer this time, “Dad too.”
A chill rolls down my spine, and my throat tightens. I don’t say anything because, somewhere deep down, I think Truett might be right. And I don’t know what to do about that.