Chapter 17
I watched Onyx eat for a second before I told him the story that changed my life and the reason for my anxiety. I could tell he’d taken a shower when he got home because his bodywash filled the air.
“I was maybe six or seven, and it was black Friday. For some reason, my mom wanted to go, even though we had never gone before. My father was at work, so he couldn’t tell her how bad an idea it was with a child so small.
We were at the store, but I can’t remember which one it was.
All I remember is a bunch of people pushing and shoving each other to get something.
One minute, I was holding my mom’s hand; the next minute, someone pushed me hard, and I was forced to let go of her hand.
Before I knew it, I couldn’t find my mom, and I was terrified.
Then, I got pushed more and ended up falling.
Luckily, someone saw me and helped me up before I got trampled, but I couldn’t find my mom in the large crowd.
The lady who helped me took me to the front of the store, but it was pandemonium getting up there.
I was able to tell them my name and my mom’s name.
I wasn’t sure how long it took for her to come to the front, but to me, it felt like forever.
Ever since, I’d been afraid of large crowds. ”
Onyx put his fork down on the plate and reached across the table to grab my hand. Once they were intertwined, he looked into my eyes.
“I’m sure that was traumatizing. I can’t imagine going through that, but also how your mother probably felt in that moment. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost Turquoise, especially in such a big crowd.”
Onyx’s thumb caressed the back of my hand soothingly.
“My mom felt so bad once she found me. She even took me to get ice cream afterwards, even though I hadn’t eaten.
” I smiled at the memory. “She even gave me one of my Christmas gifts early to make up for it. I think she got me more gifts than she planned that year. It was the worst holiday season that I could remember.”
“So you’ve avoided crowds since then?”
“As much as I possibly can. It sucks sometimes when I can’t go with my friends to certain places.”
Even though my friends knew how I felt about crowds, they would still ask me if I wanted to go, just in case I changed my mind one day.
My answer was always no though. They always made sure to record plenty of footage for me to watch.
I had gotten better over the years, because I’d missed out on some good shows.
I was still a work in progress. I promised myself that if Queen B went on tour again, I would be there no matter what. I refused to miss her again.
“I’ll help you overcome your fears if you allow me to,” Onyx suggested.
He’d push his plate to the side and reached for my other hand.
“How are you going to do that?”
“I have my ways.” He winked. “Nah, but I have an idea. No pressure though.”
I wasn’t sure if he would be able to help me, but it was worth a shot. I trusted Onyx enough to know he wouldn’t put me in any situations that would cause me any harm.
“We’ll see. How was your day?”
Onyx told me about a couple of the calls he went on during the day.
People called the fire department for some of the simplest things.
I would have never thought to call about anything other than a fire or an animal stuck in a tree.
Someone called because they thought they had a dead raccoon under their porch.
I cracked up when he told me about a guy who called because he had a nightmare.
A nightmare. I couldn’t imagine calling anyone for that.
I didn’t even call my daddy for a nightmare.
“Enough about me. How was the ice cream social? Did you guys have any issues?”
“Surprisingly, it was good. Turquoise stayed with me the whole time, and she introduced me to some of her friends. She also made sure she had gluten-free ice cream.”
I didn’t want to tell him about the mini freak out I almost had in my car when I first arrived at the school. I never wanted my issue to become his, especially because I knew he didn’t have many people to help with his daughter. She was also such a sweetheart, so I didn’t mind.
“That’s good. Even though I told them, I was still worried something would happen. I know sometimes there’s cross-contamination. We’re still learning the ins and outs of the disease.” He cringed a little when he said disease. “I hate using that word. It makes it sound so . . . bad.”
“Say disorder instead. It doesn’t make it sound so bad.”
The term disease held a negative connotation, so I often tried to use disorder when I talked to my patients, even though it was technically a disease.
Hearing that word was so jarring. Patients’ lives were already going to change because of their diagnoses, so I tried to ease the tension each time I had to deliver the news.
“You’re right. Can you stay the night?”
“I can, and I’ll even make breakfast. I just need you to take the eggs out of the carton for me.”
“What? Why?” Onyx looked at me with a confused expression.
I cringed when I spotted the egg carton in his fridge.
“I don’t like the sound of the egg cartons.”
Onyx barked out a laugh, filling the otherwise silent kitchen. It took him a few moments to calm down, then he looked at me. “I’m sorry for laughing, but are you for real?”
“Dead serious,” I told him. “It’s just something about that sound.” I shivered.
I could never explain why I didn’t like that sound, but to me it was the equivalent of chalk on a chalkboard. It made my teeth clench whenever I heard it.
Onyx chuckled again and shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’ll pull out the eggs for you. I never heard of such a thing.”
“So you don’t have any weird sounds or textures you don’t like?”
“I never really thought about it because I just don’t eat it, but I hate the texture of cottage cheese.”
I giggled when he stuck his tongue out like he was going to throw up.
“I’m with you on that.”
“Come’re,” Onyx commanded as he pushed his chair back from the table.
I got up and rounded the table. When I was in arm’s reach, he pulled me into his lap.
His big hand massaged my thigh. My heart thumped as Onyx stared into my eyes. As his tongue slowly trailed his bottom lip, I couldn’t help but stare at it and lick my lips as well. Never-ending butterflies filled my stomach every time I was in Onyx’s presence. He was just too damn fine.
“Thank you again for today. Not just for going, but dinner as well. I don’t think you will ever understand how much it meant to me.
” He kissed the corner of my mouth. He moved his hand further up my thigh until he was almost touching the seat of my pants.
“It’s hard raising a child with hardly any help.
The fact that you stepped in made me fall deeper for you.
” Another kiss. “I appreciate you, baby.” Another kiss as his hand massaged my pussy through my pants.
“Mm. You’re welcome.”
Onyx pulled me closer with his free hand and kissed my neck.
“I think you should let me fuck you on the counter,” he whispered against my neck before licking it.
“What about little mama upstairs? What if she wakes up?”
The last thing I needed was his child coming downstairs and catching her father fuck my brains out.
“Don’t worry, she won’t. Plus”—His lips were on mine again—“the way I’m feeling, it won’t take me too long, but I’ll make it up to you.” We shared another kiss.
“What are you waiting for?”
Onyx stood from the chair, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me to the counter and removed my pants and panties. It didn’t take him long to pull his pants down to his ankles and plunge into me.
He didn’t lie when he said it wouldn’t take long, because we were done five minutes later, but we continued in his bedroom until sleep took over.