Chapter 10
CLAUDIA
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right.” I’d lost track of how many times I had to assure Hadley I didn’t hate her after what happened back there. She was a grown woman. It wasn’t like I felt I had to take responsibility for the things she did. I wasn’t embarrassed.
If anything, I was too busy being relieved for embarrassment to play a role as I helped her go through the motions of changing into pajamas, then tucked her into bed with two bottles of water on the nightstand and a bottle of ibuprofen which I found in her bag.
“Get some sleep now,” I murmured, stroking her hair back from her forehead. “You’ll be fine.”
“He probably thinks I’m a joke.” It was the last thing she mumbled before closing her eyes with a pitiful groan.
Clearly, she was talking about Sebastian.
Did he think she was a joke? And why did I care if he did?
I only knew as I changed into a T-shirt and leggings that I was relieved to have an excuse to get out of there without turning Lucas down.
The resentment I felt toward myself was nothing compared to what I felt toward Sebastian for pushing my hand.
But at the end of the day, I could have said no to the whole date idea. I hadn’t. Part of me maybe wanted to see what Sebastian was like outside the restaurant, in the real world. When he wasn’t strutting around like he was hot shit, I should’ve known he would have been the same asshole as ever.
Though he did try to comfort me. My blood warmed at the memory. What was that all about?
Hadley was out cold by the time I finished getting dressed and taking off my makeup. It was still barely ten o’clock, and I was usually working at this time of night. In other words, I was wide awake, feeling restless and troubled as I reviewed everything that went on at the restaurant.
If there was anybody Hadley should’ve apologized to, it was me.
She might have thrown up in the vicinity of Sebastian’s shoes, but she’d embarrassed the hell out of me by bringing up Brandon.
I was not interested in having my personal life put on display like that in front of Sebastian, Lucas, or anybody.
It should have been up to me to reveal those personal parts of my recent past. I loved Hadley, but she had a bad habit of drinking too much and letting her mouth run away from her.
I had forgotten that. Silly me, thinking we were old enough and mature enough to avoid an awkward conversation where I would have to ask her to keep my personal life out of things.
It would have been bad enough had it not been for Sebastian’s reaction—his sympathy.
My body cringed at the memory, but it was the memory of how badly I wanted to let him comfort me that had my head in a fog as I sneaked out of the bedroom, closing the door softly, pacing the front room of the suite in a pointless attempt at working off some energy.
The memory of him was so fresh, vivid. He was right there at the restaurant, almost hovering over me, and I was so tempted.
My pulse fluttered when I recalled the light in his eyes and how overwhelmed he’d left me.
I was breathless and unsure of myself and my principles, which hadn’t seemed very important at that moment in the face of a craving for comfort.
It had been too long since a man touched me so simply, yet lit my brain on fire.
My skull was going to crack in half if the memories didn’t stop assaulting me.
The questions. What if Lucas hadn’t interrupted us?
What if, what if, what’s the point of wondering?
Spinning on my heel, I paced the length of the room again.
I didn’t want to leave Hadley alone, but the idea of waiting around in front of the television until I finally felt sleepy made me want to scream.
I was too worked up, uncomfortable in my own skin.
Back home—because I still thought of New York as home—I might have gone for a long walk on a night like this.
I grew up there, so the idea of being out late alone didn’t bother me.
I could have done that now, but it would’ve meant mingling with tourists.
I didn’t really have the patience for them at the moment.
Maybe I had used up all my patience while witnessing my best friend make a fool of herself and me.
Of course, there were also the meaningful looks Lucas kept shooting my way throughout the night. Dammit. I need to nip that in the bud if it wasn’t already too late.
My mind was made up by the time I peeked into the bedroom to find Hadley snoring softly. She would be fine. Still, I sent her a text to let her know I was going for a drive and would be back soon.
While my phone was out, I decided to send another text, this one to Lucas. Sometimes, it was best to simply get tough jobs over with quickly instead of overthinking things.
Me: Thanks for coming out tonight. I’m sorry things turned out the way they did.
I hesitated, then added another line.
Me: I hope you understand what I mean when I say I don’t think we should be anything more than friends and coworkers.
My thumb hit the arrow to send the message. I closed the app and released a shaky breath.
I then grabbed my purse and keys and headed out of the hotel, returning to the garage where I’d left my car and taking the now-familiar route to the restaurant.
The one thing about staying at the hotel was not being able to bake when I couldn’t sleep.
Granted, I didn’t have much of a kitchen at the apartment, but still, it was better than a hotel room with nothing but a coffee maker.
There was only one thing to be done on a night like this when I was so unsettled and unhappy. I needed to feel dough under my hands. I needed to make it submit to my will. It was the only thing that would at the moment.
So, of course, what did fate decide to do? How did the universe decide to laugh at me tonight? Simple. It made me drive all this way only to find a familiar Lamborghini already parked behind the kitchen.
What to do? I could leave, go back to the hotel, drive up and down the Strip until I ran out of gas, or I could haunt another restaurant to test out some of their desserts to get some ideas.
But dammit, I didn’t want to run away. My pride reared its head right on schedule. The same pride that sent me all the way out here to avoid facing Brandon and Shelby and everybody who knew how they had crushed me. In other words, I wasn’t exactly renowned for making smart decisions.
Which was why I pulled in next to the Lamborghini and parked, striding inside like the idiot I was.
One thing Sebastian wouldn’t do was force me into hiding.
I had a right to be here and practice my work.
“It’s just me,” I called out when I opened the door, in case he got the wrong idea.
“Figured I’d come in and waste some ingredients while a certain somebody sleeps it off. ”
I didn’t see him until I reached his office door, standing open so he could gaze out at me, almost sprawled in his chair, slouching slightly, thighs spread, a drink in one hand.
He must have raided the bar before coming back here.
His laptop was open with spreadsheets pulled up on the screen.
“How did I know you would show up here?” he asked with a wry grin.
“I have no idea,” I confessed, flustered, trying like hell to ignore the sudden fluttering of my pulse. Unlike me, he hadn’t gone home to change before coming in. His suit jacket hung over the back of his chair.
He looked anything but relaxed, though, sitting with an almost rigid posture, gazing at me curiously. What was he thinking? Why hadn’t I kept driving? “How is Hadley?” he asked, not unsympathetic.
“Horrified,” I admitted. “She feels terrible about almost throwing up on you. She knows she embarrassed herself.”
He shrugged it off. “I was more concerned with you at the time. Are you all right?”
Dammit. Why did he have to ask it like that? In that tone of voice, so full of concern and intimacy. I shook it off and shrugged. “I’m fine.”
His handsome face turned to something much harsher, harder.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, you weren’t fine at dinner.
” He slapped a hand against his desk and unfolded his tall body from the chair.
So tall. So much bigger than me, intimidating enough that I backed away.
He followed, leaving his office, matching me step for step. “Can we drop the subterfuge for once?”
As I watched, he pushed up his sleeves, revealing his corded muscles, and there went my pulse again. Something about him made even the most mundane actions seem relevant, exciting. “You were obviously upset back there. I was sorry your secret came out like it did.”
“I wouldn’t call it a secret, exactly.” At the same time, my skin felt hotter and tighter than it did before, so much so that desperation made me walk away.
I left him behind, heading for the walk-in, searching for cold butter.
I was in the mood to create something. I needed something good to come out of this night.
Hell, I needed to cool off. A trip to a giant refrigerator was the only option.
“Then what would you call it?” He stood in the open doorway, blocking me until I rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh. Once he left enough room, I slid past, careful to avoid touching him. I almost succumbed to his touch earlier in the evening and wasn’t going to take the risk.
Only once I reached the prep table did I remember he’d asked a question. What was it? “I call it my personal life, which is private.”
He stood across from me, his palms on the stainless-steel surface, a smirk twisting his mouth. “The stupid asshole cheated on you, didn’t he?”
My entire body cringed at the memory, but I forced myself to focus on the waxed paper wrapping around the butter. “I thought I just said my life was private.”
“It’s a simple question.”