Chapter 18 #2
“Bailey?” I asked before it all came together. Of course. How stupid could I be? I looked up at the camera over the door. Nobody told me the thing picked up sound too. “You had no right to eavesdrop,” I said, but I wasn’t angry. I was disappointed.
He scoffed, giving me a dirty look. ”What, you thought I would send you out here with that dickhead and not be concerned?”
“Don’t make this a story about how you were so concerned about me, please.” I was too tired for this, overwhelmed, and still shaken up. My nerves were frayed, and my emotions were dangerously close to the surface. “I don’t think I have it in me to do this right now.”
“Are you going? Tell me now and get it over with because it sure as hell seemed like you wanted to.”
I want to stay with you.
I only want to be with you.
The words raced to the tip of my tongue, eager to be voices, but something held me back.
Probably the fact that he looked at me like I was the enemy without ever asking how I felt.
Did he think to check in and see if I was okay after such a surprise?
Did he bother asking what I thought about Bailey’s suggestion? No. He came out with accusations.
“I was surprised,” I insisted, cringing when he scoffed. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you turning on me like this? What! Am I supposed to control who wants me to work for them? Are you that insecure?”
“Excuse me?” Folding his arms, he cocked his head back in disbelief. “Who the hell are you talking to?”
“The man in front of me who never thought to stop for five seconds to see what I actually wanted.”
“Give me a break. One of the first things you told me was you wanted that damn star. This asshole comes to town, dangles it in front of you, and you start asking all kinds of questions. Don’t fucking lie to me,” he warned, baring his teeth.
“This restaurant is not a pitstop, and I’m not a stepping stone.
Either you’re with me, or you’re not. Make up your mind right now. ”
“I can’t believe you’re acting this way, I…” I what? What was I going to say? I was literally asking myself whether or not I was in love with him moments before he came out here and pulled this bullshit act.
“You can’t believe I’m acting this way?” Throwing his hands in the air, he barked out a laugh that bounced against the brick wall at my back.
“I’ve lost a massive investment overnight, literally, up in smoke.
And now I find out I’m about to lose you because if I wasn’t, why the hell didn’t you tell him no?
You didn’t shut down the idea, did you?”
Tell him now. Tell him you don’t want to go.
No, dammit.
He doesn’t get to dictate how I express myself or when.
“I’m not allowed to think about it?”
His face darkened along with his eyes. “You wouldn’t need to think it over if you wanted to stay with me, dammit.
You know what? Go ahead,” he concluded, throwing his hands in the air again.
“Go back to New York, which is where I know you wanted to be all along. Work with somebody who’s gonna help you achieve your pointless dream.
I hope you remember I told you so when you realize how empty and meaningless it really is. ”
“How dare you? I am so sorry my dreams aren’t all as wholesome and family-oriented as yours,” I muttered, seeing him through new eyes the way I saw Brandon.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I so ready to ignore the red flags in every man I knew?
“And I’m sorry things have fallen apart with the restaurant.
In case you forgot, I was there when it happened.
And until Brandon showed up here, you couldn’t stop hovering over me.
Is it because you actually cared or because you’re afraid somebody set the place on fire, and it would’ve been your fault if I died? ”
Yes. That was exactly why. I saw it in the widening of his eyes, the sharp exhale like something hit him. He didn’t know I’d overheard a few of his hushed conversations over the past few days, wondering if the fire was intentionally set.
There was no taking it back. Right now, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
One long, painful moment after another passed between us, and then he snarled.
“You know what? Go,” he decided. “I’ll take care of your hospital bill and anything else you need, but you are free to go home and resume your life.
Thanks for taking a little time to mingle with the common folk on your way to the top. ”
This couldn’t be happening.
I had to be imagining it.
Something that started off so promising turned to shit in the blink of an eye?
Was it me? Was I the problem? Had I driven him away?
When would I stop blaming myself?
He never gave me a chance.
“Thanks for the opportunity,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. I blinked them back, furious, shattered. Waiting for him to apologize. Wishing he would. Knowing anything I said now would be tainted by the accusation I’d just hurled at him. I had wanted to hurt him the way he was hurting me.
His jaw twitched, and for a brief moment, his rigid posture softened.
Then he murmured, “My pleasure.” And that was it.
Not even twenty-four hours after we made love in his bed, he left me sitting alone on a milk crate behind the kitchen, where I was only able to keep from sobbing when I reminded myself he would be able to see through the camera.
I managed to wait until I was behind the wheel before the tears began to fall.