Chapter Twenty-Nine. Headwinds
Chapter Twenty-Nine
HEADWINDS
“Did you sleep well?”
Like he had nearly every morning since her arrival in Elswick, Danny made a pot of coffee in the kitchen. He didn’t act any different, didn’t sound any different, and if it weren’t for the marks along his neck and chest, Cam would say he didn’t look any different.
Yet he’d been jealous the night before, operating under the ridiculous belief she had feelings for a man she’d separated from four years ago. He used her words against her, reminding her of their first time together, when she claimed they were nothing more than two friends hooking up.
She’d been lying to herself then, and she was lying to herself now.
In the blink of an eye, stupid fun became reckless, and now, the fate of multiple friendships sat in the palm of her hand. The same hand currently relishing the phantom touch of his heated skin, of his sweaty back, of his soft hair …
She was a self-fulfilling prophecy, destined to destroy her life with every subsequent decision she made. Her post-undergraduate malaise centered on two tragedies: a life of corporate bullshit and the deterioration of her friend group.
One was a foregone conclusion; the other was salvageable.
And the entire summer, she’d been repairing the fractures she had caused. Spending time with Danny, reuniting with Drew, and now, finally reaching the right balance with Cory. With the summer nearly over, she could’ve set herself up for at least one happy ending.
Instead, all she could think about was Danny.
When she sat at the island, he immediately slid over a mug. One sip confirmed her coffee was exactly how she took it—a dash of milk, two sugars, and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
“Thank you,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. Because how was it possible to be incandescently happy while also paralyzed with fear? “I slept really well. You?”
Danny smiled over the rim of his mug. “Like a baby.”
He was hypnotizing. She was frozen as she stared at him, her heart hammering in her chest. A warmth bloomed in her cheeks and traveled down her neck, until it consumed every inch of her skin.
When she met his brown eyes, her fears faded. Every problem became as small as the golden flecks in his stare. Like she was no longer in control of her body, her lips curved into the same smile he wore, and then, he was laughing.
She was laughing.
He leaned across the island, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. His grin softened. “We should head to Beau’s,” he whispered.
Cam would follow him anywhere.
And maybe that was the scariest development of her year so far.
The weekend was a copy-paste of so many before in Elswick. Beau’s was busy, the tips were good, and Danny was his usual smiley self. There was no awkwardness. No allusions to their nights together, or his apparent jealousy over her and Cory.
It was easy to pretend nothing had changed, but Cam knew everything had. She found herself sitting closer to him on the sofa when they watched TV. Letting her arms swing while they walked so their fingers would touch. Zoning out for periods of time, thinking about his smile or his laugh.
She was living in a suspended version of reality where only they existed.
But come Monday, the bubble burst, and real life washed away the fantasy. Drew called her out of the blue, rattling on about an open role in corporate comms at Farley & Company. He had connections to the hiring team and could put a good word in if she was interested.
And … she was. Because even though she’d told Danny staying in Elswick was at the top of her list, the beach fantasy couldn’t compete with a job and benefits.
Her interview was early Tuesday morning. She spoke to a bright-eyed recruiter, spit out the usual bullshit answers to HR screening questions, and typed up the most disingenuous, generic thank-you email she could muster.
By Thursday morning, she had two more calls.
Her first was with the hiring manager for the role, and the second was with two senior staff members, including the head of the team.
And while both interviews seemed to go well, Cam felt like she was doing something wrong, something dirty, as she sat at Danny’s desk, exchanging soulless questions and corporate jargon with Drew’s colleagues.
When Friday came around, Drew called to report on how much they loved her.
But even with an in, the corporate hiring process was nightmarish.
She’d need to sit tight for a week, maybe longer as they got their ducks in row.
Aka, they wanted to interview other people, because like dates, hiring managers always convinced themselves there was someone better out there.
But if Drew was to be believed and his influence was to be trusted, then a job was within reach.
A job in Boston. A ninety-minute drive from Elswick on a bad day.
The more Cam thought about it, the more she relaxed. Did she finally have her next steps figured out? Because if she got offered the job, so many of her problems would disappear. She’d have a paycheck and a city to call home.
And even though she’d have to leave Elswick, she’d be close to Danny.
But … when she stared at the glowing résumé on her computer screen, her stomach lurched. Her entire adult life was broken into bullet points on that document, and not a single word brought her any happiness.
She didn’t care about the work. None of the so-called friends lasted past any end date. The companies, the positions, the people … they were filler pieces. Each one interchangeable.
A means to an end.
Yet through multiple companies and multiple roles, she hadn’t found a job that didn’t make her miserable, that didn’t make her want to call in sick on a weekly basis. Was she crazy for considering another corporate job?
She knew the hours Drew worked. She knew the strain he put himself under. His business formal, his corporate Amex, his nonstop travel …
None of it appealed to her.
But a job was a job. While it was romantic to think otherwise, there was no alternative.
The summer with Danny had been a defibrillation to her dying heart. But now that she was living again, she had to keep going. Which meant if the job was offered to her, she’d take it.
And what a paradox that was, because what good was a beating heart if it was broken?