Chapter Thirty-Three. Sunk Cost Fallacy
Chapter Thirty-Three
SUNK COST FALLACY
Birthday festivities filled the weekend.
Saturday was spent lounging on the beach, followed by a delicious dinner of pizza and chocolate cake at Shoreside Pizzeria.
Their meal left Cam in a food coma, and she walked home in a daze, listening to Danny and Drew debate the merits of bacon as a topping.
Sunday was another easy day, and after a quick lunch at Beau’s, Drew took off for Boston.
He’d be back in less than a week, this time with Morgan in tow for Cory’s wedding.
The pending arrival of her other best friend pushed Cam through her afternoon shift at Beau’s.
That good mood, plus the extra tips she received thanks to the BIRTHDAY GIRL button Esme passed to her, kept her glowing even as the weekend ended.
And just as Drew promised, HR called on Monday morning to formally offer her the job.
It was a quick discussion about salary, benefits, and their preferred September start date.
But even though she’d told Drew she was going to accept, she needed time to consider the offer.
Cam was taught lying was bad, but Harry from HR wouldn’t agree to a decision next Monday without her claiming she was a very overworked maid of honor in her friend’s Saturday wedding.
She ended the phone call unsure what to do.
She had exactly a week to decide which direction she took her life in.
Seven days to make her biggest decision since graduation.
Usually, her first step post–job offer was sending her parents the hiring letter for their feedback.
But this time, she wasn’t telling them anything.
Because if she didn’t take the job, she knew they wouldn’t understand, and she didn’t want the added stress.
The only person she thought of telling was Danny.
But even though she valued his opinion—maybe more than anyone else’s—she was struggling with how to break the news.
While most people in her life would push her towards the role, Danny would be the one to indulge her doubts.
To be the devil on her shoulder, reminding her what else was out there.
Or would that make him the angel? Because wasn’t it good to remember her dreams, and her shoot for the stars plans?
It wasn’t until Tuesday that she built up the confidence to talk to him at closing.
Most of the staff was itching to get to some warehouse party, so unlike most nights, Danny sent them off and handled the cleaning routine with Cam.
She stacked the chairs and mopped the floors, while he counted out the register.
But despite it being just the two of them, he kept to himself. The skin beneath his eyes was darkened, and his hair was messier than usual. He’d even shut off the house speakers as they cleaned, the clearest indication he was ready to go home.
It made her feel guilty for planning to disrupt his night with her news. But she needed to tell him about her plans. Because while nothing was official …
She was leaving.
She had to.
Cam returned the mop to the supply closet and sat at the bar, watching Danny as he scribbled in a notebook-ledger thing, surely doing business owner activities like inventorying alcohol.
Even while exhausted, he looked so in his element. So natural.
It made her stomach hurt.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, hating how the words stuck in her throat like phlegm. “You seem … tired.”
“Nothing’s wrong. Just been a long night.
A long summer, and August has been no different.
” He stuffed the notebook into a drawer and flipped off the fancy lighting behind the bar.
As the army of colored bottles and taps went dark, he added, “I’m looking forward to after Labor Day, when everything slows down.
It’s a real treat here. The weather is cooler, but still beach temperature.
Fewer tourists. It’s … magical. So is autumn.
I can’t wait for you to see how the leaves—”
“Danny,” she interrupted. “I … need to tell you something. You remember how in May, Drew volunteered to send my résumé around Farley & Company?” She swallowed, desperate to contain her next admission.
“Well, I took him up on it and yesterday, I was offered a position in their Boston office. The role is on their corporate comms team, which isn’t especially glamorous, but it pays well and has decent benefits. Definitely better than my last job.”
Danny stared at her, unblinking. He wet his lips, and even with their distance, she saw him bite his tongue. “I don’t understand. I thought you told him you weren’t interested?” When she dropped her gaze to the floor, he cleared his throat. “Cam?”
“I was going to tell him no, but … I couldn’t. How could I pass up an opportunity to get my foot in the door at one of the biggest consulting firms in the world?”
“Pretty easily! A month ago, you told me you were staying in Elswick. Was that ever true or were you just humoring me?”
“I was considering it! But I have to be practical. I … have to do what makes sense.”
He nodded slowly. “Right. So this”—he waved to Beau’s, to himself—“doesn’t make sense?”
“Danny—”
“Have you accepted the job?”
“Not yet, but…”
“But you will?”
She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. “Yes. Because it’s the smart thing to do.”
A breathy laugh escaped his lips, and when her gaze shot to his, he took off across the dining room, her on his heels. At the deck doors, he said, “Yeah. You’re right. Because I could never be the smart choice.”
“Danny!” His back tensed as he bolted the doors, but he remained silent. “Come on! You’re not being fair about this. I thought you’d be happy for me. I thought you’d understand why I need to do this.”
Finally, he turned, eyes dark, lips curled. “What do you want me to say, Cam? You’ve spent months talking about how unhappy you are and now you think I should support you moving backwards? If you skip off to Boston for another soul-crushing job, you are right back where you started.”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice!” he cried. “Have you listened to anything I’ve said this summer or was I just here to indulge some burnout fantasy of yours?
What exactly did you think I do here? Spend my days crossfaded on the beach and my nights at warehouse parties popping Molly?
” His teeth dug into his lip, and he added, “All summer, I’ve shown you my life.
Every part of it. And … you seemed so fucking happy.
Like you knew what you wanted. What you needed. ”
“It’s been an amazing summer,” she said, “but just that, Danny. A summer. One season of fun and distraction. And now, what I need is to return to the real world.”
His jaw clenched, and a muscle twitched beneath reddened skin. “I hate when you say that.”
The spiked timbre of his voice, the slow cadence of his words, the stretch of each syllable …
It sucked the oxygen from the room.
“I hate it,” he repeated, “when you play off my existence, my livelihood, like some drunk college kid’s spring break. That it’s a temporary, rose-colored fantasy that couldn’t possibly exist with your life.”
Maybe it was the darkened restaurant, or the wind outside, or her nerves on edge after the last few weeks, but she couldn’t contain the fire raging any longer.
“You do the same to mine! You treat the nine-to-five grind like a curse you’re too good for, and guess what? Most people do it. Most people aren’t lucky enough to be handed another option, debt-free and on a silver platter!”
“Sorry I forgot my privilege. Let me go write my dead uncle a thank-you note. Would that make things easier?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Does it matter?” He went to the bar and dropped onto a stool, his gaze never leaving her.
“Cam, how can you even consider taking another job like your previous one? You didn’t wanna do that shit when we were in school, and now, you wanna do it even less.
Don’t you see the problem? You’re fucking burned out in your twenties.
That’s not normal. It means something isn’t working, and when something isn’t working, you figure out how to fix it. ”
She crossed the dining room, dropping her apron in a flurry of movement. “How can I consider it?” She laughed. “It’s called being an adult, Danny. Being an adult means doing plenty of shit you don’t want to do, including working jobs you fucking hate.”
“Is that a commandment? Did I miss that proclamation written somewhere?”
“Listen to yourself! You don’t get it. You’ve never cared about any of this and—”
“—and you’re being closed-minded! You don’t need to do anything you don’t wanna do, okay?” He waved to the dining room. “Every day, I enjoy my job. Every day, I have fun.”
Her gaze skirted around the dimmed restaurant. The beachy decor, the neon beer signs, the pictures on the walls of Elswick through the years …
“You have fun because this place is Neverland. You didn’t have to grow up like the rest of us. You wanted to have fun forever and guess what? You won the lottery. Every day, your life can be drinks in the sand.”
He stood, approaching her slowly. “What makes you think you’re growing up?
Isn’t part of getting older learning from mistakes?
Isn’t that the cliché about insanity? That it’s doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?
” His shoulders tensed, and he plunged a hand into his hair, causing loose strands to drop into his eyes.
“You’re doing the same shit you’ve always done and you’re fucking miserable.
That doesn’t sound like adulthood to me. Getting older means growing wiser.”
“I’m up to my shoulders in debt, I’m couch surfing, I’m—”
“Milly,” he pleaded, “you don’t need to rush into anything. You can find something that makes money and makes you happy. You have more options than returning to the corporate world. To the same places and positions that’ve made you miserable for years.”
She was full-blown crying now, hot tears streaming down her cheeks as she shook off his words. “Drew helped me get this. It pays well and it’s in a city I’m familiar with. I’ll have friends nearby. I have to take it.”
“That’s where you and I disagree,” he whispered.
“Yeah, well, you’ve never been like the rest of us.”
He turned away from her, head dropping. “Right. I forgot I wasn’t good enough for you guys.
If it weren’t for that group project freshman year, you four probably would’ve taken one look at me and decided I wasn’t worth the time of day.
” His gaze shot to hers and then away, as swift as his words.
“I didn’t fit your typical résumé bullet-point bullshit so you four decided I didn’t have any ambition. ”
“You didn’t!” she cried. “Every one of us was working towards something. Every hour of every fucking day. We had goals, and benchmarks, and Morgan had that insane ten-year plan. She wanted to be abroad by the time she was twenty-five. Cory wanted to get his MBA at an Ivy. Drew wanted to start his own company. And I…”
“You what, Cam?” He approached her, the brown of his eyes swallowed by black. “What is it that you wanted? Because it’s been a mystery to me for a long time.”
“This isn’t about me. This is about you. All you ever wanted to do was have a good time. Go to parties, hang out, fuck around.” His dark gaze pierced her body, heating her skin like a sunray. Exhaling shakily, she asked, “Did you ever care about anything?”
“Did you?” He laughed softly, but the sound wasn’t malicious.
It was weary. “You know what’s funny? I resented that you four looked down on me because my dreams were different.
Because they didn’t involve an office overlooking Central Park or throwing enough money at Adams to slap Brennan on a building.
But I’m realizing I’m no better. Because I didn’t look down on you all, but I sure as hell pitied you.
“I think it’s fucking sad that you all thought my trip to Asia was a reckless decision.
I think it’s fucking sad that you all thought my desire to have fun was some immature escape from real life.
Those were my goals. My benchmarks. You wanna know what my ten-year plan was?
” He twisted his bracelet, leaving his hand to manacle his wrist. “I wanted to meet new people. Explore the world. Discover new hobbies. I wanted to experience, I wanted to love, I wanted to remember. Sure, I was going to college. But my only memories weren’t gonna be my nose in a textbook or sweating in a suit jacket. That’s not living. Not to me.”
He dropped his arms to his sides and straightened his shoulders, like he was resetting himself.
“Maybe that’s why I never fit in perfectly with you four.
But I thought you understood that, because unlike them, you were a romantic.
You were driven by your imagination, by your fantasies.
I remember freshman year, and how every time I looked at you, your face was in a journal.
You’d have this secretive little smile, and this sparkle in your eyes, and you’d tell me all your brilliant ideas. ”
He closed the gap between them, their toes touching. “And then one day, the sparkle disappeared, like your flame had burned out. When we met, you were a dreamer.” He shook his head, frowning. “What happened?”
“I couldn’t afford to be a dreamer.”
“No, you were scared to be a dreamer,” he replied, “and look where that’s gotten you.”
She staggered back, ignoring the fresh round of tears.
“I’m not fearless like you, Danny. I take the path of least resistance.
So yeah, I could switch careers, or delude myself into thinking I could write professionally, but …
it’s easier to stay on this climb. It’s safer.
I know where I’m going, even if I don’t like the destination. ”
“Dammit, Cam! Don’t tell me I never grew up if you’re just gonna succumb to that self-sacrificing bullshit. You deserve better. Why don’t you understand that?”
“Why does it matter to you?” she cried. “You’re not the one working the job. You can still be Fun Danny while I’m Corporate Camille. We’ve been doing it for years.”
“It matters to me because it makes you fucking miserable!” He threw his head back and asked, “Cam, don’t you get it?”
His strangled words kept her frozen in place as he eliminated the last inches between them. Hardened eyes peered down at her through long dark lashes. He cupped her cheek, using his thumb to brush away a teardrop.
“Why don’t you get it?” he whispered.
But before she could process his question, he was kissing her.