Chapter Thirty-Six. High Tide
Chapter Thirty-Six
HIGH TIDE
For the two days leading up to the wedding, Cam pushed her life-changing decisions to the back of her mind and embraced the moment.
Having the four of them squished into Danny’s place was reminiscent of the many nights spent sprawled across Cam and Morgan’s sofa as they studied, or the days they’d fill with playful arguing as the guys tore apart their fridge.
Not much had changed years later. Morgan shared the den bed with Cam, and Drew took his usual place on the sofa, complaining when he woke up with Reggie on top of him. He always put up a fight, but everyone knew he loved the dog.
Thursday night, they had enjoyed drinks at Beau’s, before crowding the living room to watch reality TV and complain about their most-hated contestants.
Friday morning, they’d even brought back Group Breakfast, with Cam making chilaquiles for everyone.
The rest of the day was spent running around: Danny with wedding preparations, Drew on the hunt for a tie since he forgot his—and Danny’s wardrobe included only one—and Cam and Morgan pampering themselves with a mani-pedi.
A treat from Morgan, who claimed it was an apology for the invitation chaos.
Eventually, they came together for dinner at Shoreside Pizzeria, and after, took Drew’s car to a beach about fifteen miles west of Elswick—one of the few in the area with firepits.
Sitting around the flames, they roasted marshmallows, until the guys disappeared with a football.
Drew and Danny were alone for only five minutes before two boys appeared—one maybe ten, the other maybe three.
The older one quickly charmed his way into the game of catch, while the younger one cheered every time his brother caught the ball.
“Reminds me of Brody,” Morgan said, grinning as she watched the toddler. “I can’t wait to see him this Christmas. Staying in Copenhagen last year was cool, but with Sean having a baby, I need to come home and make sure the Rossi side of the family is represented well.”
“It must be crazy having a nephew. I … always thought with no siblings, I’d be Aunt Cam to everyone’s kids.” She laughed. “Except whenever we’re together, I really can’t see any of us having children for a long time.”
“Who knows? Cory’s getting married tomorrow. Babies might be sooner than you think.”
Cory as a father. Cam stared at the dark water, imagining the life she once planned for the two of them.
She would’ve followed him to New York. They’d be married by now and gearing up for two kids before thirty.
He’d rise through the ranks at his firm, and she’d work some schmancy corporate marketing job so their kids could attend the best private schools in the city.
Eventually, they’d own a beautiful brownstone, one they’d sip coffee on the patio of, listening to the sounds of the city each morning.
Every conversation would be about an article from The New York Times, or drama at their jobs, or their next networking function.
Their son would be Christopher, named after Cory’s grandfather. Their daughter would be Cecilia, named after Cam’s grandmother. Together, they’d have a perfect alliterative family, taking over the city one day at a time.
In college, she’d combed through every detail. Where they’d honeymoon, which neighborhood they’d settle in, if she’d take his last name …
At twenty-one, the plan seemed perfect. At twenty-six, the groom in question wasn’t the only problem. It was the entire reality. The stuffy city, the bigwig job, the impersonal pillow talk …
The longer she stared at the ocean, the faster new scenes formed in her head: long walks on the beach with Reggie, writing in the sand until her hand cramped, romantic dinners made with vegetables picked from Mrs. Adler’s garden, a little baby Beau toddling around, named after his great-uncle who passed too soon …
Every scene costarred a husband with big brown eyes and a dimpled smile.
Feeling unbalanced, Cam gripped her thighs for support.
“Cam?” Morgan faced her, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay? You’ve been a bit … off. Is this about Cory?”
It wasn’t about Cory—at least not in the way everyone assumed. But he was part of her past, and reflecting on how much she would dislike their life together was helping her see the future she wanted, the future she needed.
“I was just thinking about the life I thought Cory and I would live. But that reality seems so … repulsive to me now. And yeah, part of it is because I don’t love Cory romantically but …
it’s more than that.” She exhaled shakily.
“It’s scary, Morgan. It’s really scary realizing everything I wanted a few years ago is now my worst nightmare. ”
“You’re allowed to change your mind. That’s normal. We learn new things about ourselves every day. But if you don’t want that life anymore … What do you want?”
It was an innocuous question from her best friend, and yet it twisted the spigot. Cam burst into tears, and even though Morgan blurred from the waterworks, Cam saw her jump up.
“Hey!” Morgan kneeled at her feet. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong is I don’t want you all to hate me,” she cried. “I don’t want to be the reason we fall apart again.”
“Why would we hate you? Cam, we love you.”
Through her tears, Cam watched the guys. Danny was laughing, head thrown back as Drew playfully wrestled the kids for the football. He was so handsome when he was happy, all dimples and sparkling eyes and dark hair kissing his temples.
“You say that now, but don’t you remember what happened when Cory and I broke up?
” she asked. “Don’t you remember how everything fell apart?
We ruined our trip to Tulum. We stopped having Group Breakfasts.
Grad pictures were awkward. I backed out of helping Drew move to Boston because Cory was there.
I didn’t join you guys in New York for—”
“Cam. Breathe. What’s this about?”
“This is about how it took years for us to reset our friendship,” Cam continued frantically, “and how it’s never been the same. We keep secrets. We’ve never taken any of the trips we talked about. We don’t see each other over the holidays. And it’s only going to get harder as we get older!”
“We’re here for each other now. We’re all going to be together for Cory’s wedding. Is that what this is about? What happened between you two, and however it affected the five of us, is in the past. We’re adults. We moved on.”
“Yes, but…”
“But what?”
“But Danny is in love with me,” she whispered, each word broken by her cries, “and I’m so fucking scared I’m going to ruin us for good this time because … because…”
“Because you love him too?”
Cam stared into the familiar hazel eyes, her lips wobbling. Morgan had been there for every milestone over the years—good and bad. Her first failed exam. Her first kiss with Cory. Her last kiss with Cory. Her first day at her first big girl job.
And now Morgan was here for another one. Another monumental moment, a life-changing confession, one she was petrified to voice aloud because once she did, there was no taking it back.
Seeing the panic in her eyes, Morgan asked, “When did he tell you? What did he say?”
Cam sniffled, taking a shuddering breath as she relived their time on the beach. “Tuesday night. He told me he’s always loved me but … he also said he wouldn’t be my tether. He wants me to figure out what I want. With my career, with my worries about upsetting you guys.”
“Cam,” Morgan said, squeezing her hand, “friendship isn’t perfect.
It’s fucking messy and frustrating sometimes.
But … when you love a group of people like we love each other, you’re willing to brave any storm.
We’ve changed. But that’s natural. We’re growing up.
And that means we’ll happily evolve for your next steps.
If you and Danny love each other, we’re going to support it. ”
“But what if we don’t work out?”
“What if you don’t? Would you go back in time and erase your relationship with Cory because of how it ended?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then it’s the same for Danny. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
“This is different.” Morgan turned to the guys, watching as Danny helped the toddler throw the ball. “Sometimes, the best love stories are the slow-burning fires. Not the ones that ignite the quickest. You two are well suited for each other.”
Cam’s stomach filled with butterflies. Suddenly, she was desperate to be back in his orbit. To smell his intoxicating perfume of woodsy bodywash and sunscreen, of hoppy beer and sliced lemons, of minty toothpaste and strong coffee.
“For what it’s worth,” Morgan continued, “he’s right. You need to figure out what you want. Because being with him will come with its own set of challenges. Don’t worry about us. We’ll love you two no matter what. But he has an established life here and that’s not going to change.”
Cam swallowed, captivated by his every movement across the sand. How he flipped off a cackling Drew behind the backs of the kids, how he jumped in the air cheering when the toddler threw the ball, how he waved goodbye when the boys were retrieved by their parents …
“You … really wouldn’t be mad?” Cam asked. “When I got here, you told me not to shack up with him.”
Morgan winced. “Cam, I know what I said, but I’d never be mad at you for falling in love. If anything, I’m mad that this is making you cry. If you want to be with him, I’ll be your number one fan. And Drew is … Drew. He’ll say something gross, but he’ll be supportive. Cory—”
“Cory already told me it’s okay,” Cam interrupted, cheeks heating. “I think he knew before I knew.”
Morgan shook her head in disbelief. “You got Cory’s go-ahead and you’re crying over me and Drew? You could buy Drew’s support with a Popsicle!”
Cam laughed, her skin tight from the dried tears. “I just … don’t want anything to come between us again.”
“Nothing will. We’re still friends for a reason.”
“So … we’re going to be okay? No matter what?”
“Always, Cam. I promise.”
With Morgan’s blessing settling in the air, Cam relaxed into her seat. But her anxious flutters remained. What was she supposed to do now? She had a couple of days to decide about the job offer. About a move to Boston.
Would she survive another stint in the corporate world? Would she last an eternity of nine-hour workdays under fluorescent lights, selling a company she didn’t care about for a subpar paycheck?
And then, there was Danny. Were Morgan’s assurances enough to silence her worries about their friend group? And if they were, what happened next? Morgan was right. Danny was rooted in Elswick. He was a package deal with the town, with Beau’s …
Was that what she wanted?
If she left for Boston, could they be together? Was ninety minutes between them a deal-breaker?
The questions were ocean waves, each stronger than the last, knocking her off her feet. She was cold, she was wet, and she was scared.
Confused.
Endlessly grateful that Morgan was back by her side.
Crying, Cam said, “I missed you so much.”
“Cam,” Morgan laughed, “I missed you, too. Now you need to stop, or I’m going to cry!”
Spoiler: Morgan cried.