Chapter 14
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Sammy got out of the car, grabbed the bag of groceries she’d picked up to help supplement what was going on at the house, and walked slowly up to the front door.
She wasn’t sure how long she would need to keep this up, but it wasn’t so much stressful as feeling like she wasn’t contributing to the household expenses.
She stayed here, ate, and then left for work, sometimes with one of the guys, depending on who was taking the watch shifts.
That didn’t leave a whole lot of time to help or contribute in any way, considering that she was staying here at their largesse, even though technically they were probably responsible for her situation.
She was just grateful to have a safe place to come to.
And happy to have no incidents coming home nor at the grocery store, without her usual escorts.
As she walked in, she heard a baby crying, something that she was slowly getting used to.
Yet it seemed like another one was half laughing, and apparently the final triplet wasn’t making a sound.
She quickly took off her shoes and moved through the living room, past the kitchen, and into the babies’ playroom, which served as a naptime area and a first-floor changing room too.
Formerly it had been Talia’s home office.
There she found Anderson changing one, who had been doing the crying.
The giggling one on the floor was trying to crawl up his pant leg, while the third one sat in one of the playpens, playing with a toy.
She smiled. “You never deal with just one, do you?”
“No,” he replied, looking over at her in surprise. “I sure don’t. You’re off early.”
“Nope, I’m not,” she stated, with a smile. “I think your day just got away from you.”
“Yeah, after going to the sheriff’s department,” he added, shaking his head, “it’s just been babies ever since.”
“Well, they are a full-time job, and, like all jobs, it never seems to get any easier.”
He studied her closely. “Tough day?”
“Yeah, tough day,” she whispered. “One of my patients, whom I had high hopes for, she passed away. … I should be prepared, but it never gets any easier.”
“It’s not supposed to get easier,” he noted quietly. “Somebody needs to care. Somebody needs to tell the world how important it was that this person lived and that somebody was there to witness their struggle. I’m not sure how many people even understand how needed that validation is.”
She smiled. “I think most of us in this industry, it’s not that we get accustomed to it, but we kind of just shut it down.”
“I get that.”
“You just stop thinking about the effects of it all because seeing death all the time, if you focus only on that, mulling it over and over—”
“Yeah, you can’t deal with death all the time,” he declared, with understanding in his tone.
“Exactly, because, while that was going on, several other people needed help, people still alive and kicking. So, they were the ones who needed my help in that moment,” she conceded, with a half-smile.
“Thus you just move on. You don’t have a choice.
You have other people to care for. That one didn’t make it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help the next one. ”
He smiled. “And, of course, that’s what you were doing, moving on and helping the next one.”
“Yes,” she agreed, a sad smile on her face. “Still is a little rough.”
“Of course it is. There’s coffee on if you want a cup,” he suggested. “Plus, if you want a bundle of sunshine, there’s always one of these little girls to pick up and to get cuddles from.”
She laughed. “Let me put these groceries in the kitchen, and I’ll be right back.”
“You didn’t need to pick up groceries,” he called behind her.
“Well, I needed to do something,” she called right back. “You guys have been feeding me since this nightmare started.”
“Right, but that’s the thing. It has been a nightmare and not of your making. So, we’re doing everything we can to try and minimize the damage to your world. This is just a precaution, but let’s not stop it too early and have it become something that we live to regret.”
She shook her head at that. “The fact that I’m even caught up in this is a little disturbing,” she acknowledged, trying not to make it sound like it was his fault.
“A little?” he murmured, a twinkle in his eye. “I figured it was perfect timing for you and Burton.”
“Sure,” she agreed, with a chuckle. “But not at the expense of … everything else going on.”
“I can tell you one thing though,” he added, as she faced him. “I know Burton from many years ago, and, if there was ever anything he would take seriously, it would be this.”
“Of course,” she noted, “and I wouldn’t expect anything less.
He’s always got, or always appears to have, everybody else’s care on his shoulders.
” Maybe it was an odd thing to say, but she was also in an odd mood.
Just like Anderson had pointed out, it was kind of an off day.
“Sorry, not that you and Leland don’t take on that weight on your shoulders as well. ”
“No apology necessary,” he replied, glancing at her as he finished changing the diaper. “One of the things we have to respect in this world is the fact that what we do isn’t necessarily something other people understand or accept.”
“I can accept it,” she confirmed, with a dry laugh.
“I damn-well know how that is, because, well, … look at the world we live in. Not everybody, a lot of people in fact, would accept what I do. They make comments on my career path and how I couldn’t get into medical school, so I had to be a nurse instead of a doctor. ”
He smiled. “It has been a rough day, hasn’t it?”
She snorted. “I guess so.” She shook her head. “I’ll go try that coffee.”
After putting away the groceries, she grabbed a coffee, wondering at her maudlin view of the world right now.
With a hot cup of coffee in her hand, she headed to the playroom again, just in time to spy one of the babies trying to make her escape out that door and beyond to the kitchen or the living room or wherever.
She put her coffee down on one of the little corner tables, scooped up the baby, and asked, “Where do you think you’re trying to run to, missy?” Lisa—no idea which one—laughed as if this were the best game ever, and Sammy had to smile. “They’re always so happy, aren’t they?”
“They are, even when they’re not, you know?” Anderson agreed, with a grin.
“But that’s not the same thing,” she countered, with a nod.
“I mean, when they’re unhappy, it’s because they’re either wet or hungry—you know, the basics in life.
But they aren’t caught up in this whole I’m unhappy because I don’t like my world type of depression.
They just seem to be naturally happy, and that’s kind of nice. ”
He didn’t say anything but handed her a cloth as baby Lisa burped.
“Did you feed them recently?” Sammy asked.
“Yeah, just a little while ago,” he shared. “And then this one decided to fill her diaper at the same time that she was eating, so then I had to take all three back out of their high chairs. And that’s just how it goes.”
She laughed. “It seems to be, though I can’t say that I’ve ever been around triplets before.”
“No, I haven’t either,” he agreed, “but it is what it is.”
She gently laid the baby on her shoulder, and, with the burping cloth in place, walked around, gently rubbing her back.
As she glanced over, Anderson quickly, like an old hand with years of experience, changed the diaper of the first one—again.
“The skill that you do that with, … your sister would be proud of you.”
He glanced over at her and cocked his head. “I don’t know about that, but—at least now that she’s starting to wake up—I have hope of getting her home again.” He looked back at her and asked, “You probably don’t know yet, right? But tell me if you do.”
“If you’re asking about your sister’s release date, you’re right. I don’t know,” she said, sympathy in her tone. “I didn’t check before coming off shift, and I’m sorry. I should have.”
“That’s okay.” He smiled. “You aren’t expected to do everything all the time.”
She laughed. “That’s good because honestly, I would fail miserably.”
He burst out laughing. “Well, that’s the good thing about jobs like that. They aren’t necessarily yours, are they?”
She shrugged. “It does seem to me like I’m expected to do an awful lot sometimes.”
He smiled. “And then there are days, like right now, where you just need to take a break and rest up,” he suggested. “I can hear the exhaustion in your tone.”
“Yeah, I guess,” she muttered. She continued to pace with one of the Lisas in her arms. “Should I be leaving?”
He stopped what he was doing and frowned at her, keeping one hand on his Lisa’s chest, and declared, “No, you shouldn’t.”
“Are you sure? It feels like nothing’s happening and that this is kind of overkill.”
“It’s not overkill,” he stated, “and I would absolutely hate to have you leave when we are at this stage.”
“Are you sure though?” she asked. “Maybe me leaving would be the best thing.”
“Best for whom?” he asked her in astonishment. “The last thing any of us want is to have you hurt over this.”
She groaned. “My first reaction would be to automatically say something like, Why would I get hurt? But then I remember Talia, and it’s hard for me to argue the point.”
“Exactly,” he replied, “and that’s part of the reason why we need you to stay safe and to remain connected to us. It isn’t about being weak. I’m not sure where this is coming from, but I’m concerned that it’s even an issue at all.”
“I don’t even know that it is really,” she admitted, rubbing her forehead. “I guess it just feels like I should be doing something more constructive, one way or the other.”
“No,” he countered flatly. “I need you to just do what you’re doing and to let us continue to do what we’re doing. And I promise, we are doing everything we can to get this situation resolved.”
She didn’t say anything, just nodded.
“Has somebody said something to you?”