Chapter 26. In Which There Is Relatability in Degenerate Stars That Are Burnt Out, Out of Fuel, and in a State of Suffer
IN WHICH THERE IS RELATABILITY IN DEGENERATE STARS THAT ARE BURNT OUT, OUT OF FUEL, AND IN A STATE OF SUFFERING EXTREME COLLAPSE
“As a reminder, points are doubled for your fourth and final test,” Dr. Gupta says from the front of the Hybrid Nanomaterials Laboratory.
She puts on reading glasses that hang around her neck by a beaded chain and stares us down.
“And this test will be in the form of … a handwritten research proposal.”
Sighs of relief come from the surrounding lab desks.
It takes a second for my brain to fully process what Dr. Gupta said.
I straighten my posture, shaking away my exhaustion for the third time since the period began.
After two weeks of hectic project-based tests, being able to simply sit and write a proposal is relieving.
But as Dr. Gupta moves on to how we’ll need to develop a brand-new application for nanocrystals that can potentially improve a current technological product, my attention drifts once more.
Because Luca is sitting only two desks away.
I tap my finger against my armrest to try to distract myself, summoning my willpower to not look at him.
Even though I was out ten minutes past curfew last night, I was able to slip back into the cabin without Felix noticing.
He was too busy lecturing Jade and Christiana about the beauty of waiting until marriage, fueled by the panicked responsibility of having two minors dating under his roof.
Sleep was an unmanageable feat. My imagination kept replaying the moment Luca revealed how he feels—has felt. For three whole years. How the corners of his mouth turned into a frown as I left. The undeniable confusion in his eyes.
For now, I have to avoid Luca until I figure out what to do. What to think.
Which is almost impossible, considering I’m facing off directly against Gamma—Luca—today.
To compete in the Medal of Victory contest, we’ll need to end up as first or second in the final bracket. Beating Gamma and Epsilon today won’t be enough alone for this to happen. Zeta, Delta, Alpha, and Beta will also need to lose their own competitions. Something I have no control over.
Gloved fingers snap twice in my face.
I startle.
“The test started,” Benedict says from the seat beside mine.
I glance around at my teammates, all watching me. I hadn’t registered a thing.
“Right,” I say, whipping a fresh notebook out of my backpack. “I’m ready.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
Benedict’s stare narrows, his forehead creasing. He doesn’t believe me.
“What product should we choose to improve with nanocrystals?” Christiana asks Jade and Benedict.
Pointedly ignoring me for obvious reasons after disapproving of my talk with Luca.
She doesn’t even know we kissed last night.
If she did, she’d be pulling out a steak knife.
“We need enough scientific backing and proof that can beat…” She nudges her head not so subtly toward Gamma’s desk.
“This is admittedly beyond my capabilities as Expert Behavioral Science,” Benedict says. “Do you have any ideas, Christiana?”
Christiana doesn’t respond at first, seemingly stunned that he’s admitting defeat for the first time since we met. “Same here, I’m afraid.”
I try to recall what Christiana’s original question was but come up blank. My brain is scrambled eggs. “Could you repeat that?”
“We need a product”—she still doesn’t look at me—“that nanocrystals can improve.”
I don’t have any ideas. This week, we already improved LEDs and infrared detectors in our labs.
Given how we practiced this very topic during the week, I should have planned for this, should have known my team would rely on me to organize a plan of action, as I always do.
Instead, I spent every second worrying about Luca.
We can’t fail this test. Everything we’ve worked so hard for will be for nothing.
But if I can’t lead them, who will?
“Thermoelectric devices,” Jade says casually, picking at her nails. It’s only then that I realize her oversized sweatshirt, with a goat-headed, human-bodied demon print decal, has a puffball on its shoulder—no, it’s Big Papa Huge Time, flopped politely on her.
We stare at her.
“Thermo what?” I finally ask.
“Solid-state electronic devices that create voltage when there are different temperatures on each side. I use them when I hunt ghosts. The device converts different temperatures into electricity, so if a freezing-cold ghost comes, it lets me know.” She shrugs, and Big Papa Huge Time’s head pops up in a frenzied panic.
She gives him a few reassuring pats, and he lies back down, falling asleep instantly.
“But also, most scientists think this technology could help address the sixty percent of usable power that’s lost as heat. ”
Christiana gapes at Jade like she’s the most intelligent woman in the world. Which, in a sense, may be true. Jade needed smarts to entice brAIN’s admissions team, even with her connections as a member of royalty. It’s just difficult to remember sometimes.
“Since Rory is clearly gone, give me the paper,” Jade says, snatching the notebook from me.
I reach back for it, but she holds it away. “I can at least transcribe ideas.”
“You do look unwell, Rory,” Benedict says beside me. A noticeable undercurrent of worry deepens his low baritone.
“I’m starting,” Jade says, grabbing a pencil. She turns away, blocking me from seeing over her shoulder.
My stomach tenses as the reins are snatched out from under me. All I can do is sit back in my chair.
Jade writes the Introduction paragraph of the research proposal fast. Impressively fast, like she’s as much of an expert in nanotechnology as Dr. Gupta.
For the Aims and Objectives portion, Christiana offers a fact she suddenly recalls about nanoparticles used for sea lion seizure treatment being biodegradable, pivoting our approach to a more sustainable one.
Benedict chimes in two sentences later about how nanoparticle probes used in the brain are so expensive that the cost-to-benefit ratio is often less certain, allowing us to add a counterargument.
Before I know it, we’re already onto Research Design and Method.
I haven’t said a thing.
I wonder how Luca’s team is doing.
I’m not supposed to look. But I do, trying to avoid Luca and instead observe the team as a whole.
They’re silently working on the response, but it’s hard to tell how far they are.
Out of my periphery, I can make out the curls of Luca’s hair.
The edges of his T-shirt, the same one he wore when we met up at the Catenoid Meadow.
I can’t help it. My eyes focus on him.
And then I see just how out of it he is. Even from two tables away, Luca’s dark circles are apparent. As Samuel writes in a notebook to his left, he watches with a glazed stare, like he slept as little as I did.
Because without meaning to, I followed through with breaking Luca’s heart. The night before this test that decides who competes for the Medal. Potentially securing his defeat and my victory.
Accidentally. But still. I didn’t mean for this to happen.
Which means he really does like me. He likes me so much that he can’t even focus on what he’s doing.
My heart hangs heavy, but it also skips a beat I can’t control.
“Done,” Jade says, slapping a palm on the notebook.
I lean closer, barely coherent enough to study our research proposal as she flips through the pages. Among the three of them, they’ve written ten pages already. We still have half an hour left.
Nausea consumes me. We can’t win like this.
I have to stop them somehow.
“I can check over it,” I offer, trying to kill time and give Luca’s cabin a chance to get themselves together.
Jade shoves a hand into my face and pushes me away, forcing a surprised grunt out of me. “We don’t need you.”
Defensiveness strikes my chest. “Why are you acting like I’m useless?”
“I think you’re exhausted. And you’re clearly going through something. So, yes, you’re useless. If you were able to carry us this far, we can carry you today. Got it?”
If I argue and make a scene, that might be enough to stall them longer.
But then I take in my cabinmates’ earnest faces, staring back at me. They’re attentive, ready to go, and confused why I’m not. Everything I never thought they could become at the start of camp, when I’d never felt more alone.
I’ve spent my time at brAIN constantly proving to them how much I hate relying on others, yet they still want to help me. They want me to trust them.
How can I let them down?
I glance at Luca’s table. They aren’t any further along than they were a few minutes ago.
And just because my teammates finished our proposal first out of everyone doesn’t mean it’s the best. Right?
I nod at Jade, letting her turn it in.
She walks to the front of the lab and aggressively slaps our research proposal down on Dr. Gupta’s desk.
Dr. Gupta startles, glancing up from the thick nonfiction book she’s reading. She checks the clock on the wall with a surprised look and then swaps out her book for our proposal to start grading it.
We spend the rest of the hour in silence as other teams catch up, turning in their projects and trading nervous energy with one another, knowing what’s at stake.
Even if the odds of beating Gamma and Epsilon are significantly higher now, the remaining dominoes still need to fall perfectly.
If just one of the Zeta, Delta, Alpha, or Beta cabins wins, then we’ll be shoved out of second place, unable to reach the Medal of Victory contest.
It’s out of our control.
“Pencils down,” Dr. Gupta announces once the clock strikes ten.
Every team has already turned in their research proposal except for one: Gamma. Cindy and Luca rapidly trade the paper back and forth a few times before ultimately giving up and letting Samuel turn in their work.
A knock comes from the lab door.
A younger white man in a dress shirt and slacks steps inside. He seems less like a mentor or professor and more like a behind-the-scenes employee of brAIN. He walks to Dr. Gupta and hands her a note.
“Once everyone has turned in their work, you’re dismissed,” Dr. Gupta says, putting on her glasses to read the note. “Except for Luca Melendez and Rory Prince.”