Chapter 2
“Cry” by Koryn Hawthorne
This hospital was the hardest place for Ethic to be.
Love had died here. Alani had barely made it out of this place.
Nannie had clung to life. Even he had been a resident after being shot.
The way his chest tightened when he entered was a trauma response he couldn’t calm.
No matter how in control he appeared on the outside, his body gave a physical response to the sights, sounds, and smells of this building.
He was a man triggered as Morgan walked him to the room where Yolly was being monitored. She paused at the door.
“I just need a minute,” she whispered. “Messiah’s in there…”
“If you can’t control the room with a man who loves you, you can’t control the room with men who seek to destroy you, Mo.
Your mother ran everything and everyone, Morgan.
Don’t get me wrong, Benny Atkins was the king.
He had a whole city and an army to protect everything he had built, but at any given time, Justine could tap those red-painted fingernails against her throne, and any nigga standing in front of her yielded, including your old man.
Including me. You lead with your heart, and that is beautiful.
You love so hard, Mo, but you’re not a little girl anymore.
You’re building your own army, and you’ve sparked a war between two kings.
They both serve you well. Differently, but I acknowledge the allegiance they have for you.
You just don’t know that you’re the one in control.
In every room. Start with this one,” Ethic stated.
“Your baby is in there. You can’t avoid Messiah, so you have to learn your power, Mo.
The type of men you choose don’t follow just any command.
They’re used to being the ones with all the control.
The heart tips the scales a little bit when you come across a woman that feels like life.
We live in death. We deliver death. We don’t fear death.
We expect it even. So, a woman who introduces you to what it’s like to live…
” Ethic paused as his mind drifted to Alani.
He shook his head, still in disbelief at how lucky he was.
“That woman controls every move on the chessboard, whether we like it or not, in moments we know it or not. That’s why the queen must be protected at all costs.
Raven never mastered that, but you are your mother’s daughter, Mo. Come.”
Morgan’s chest was crushed by the weight of the world.
She couldn’t understand why he looked at her mom with such respect and admiration.
Queens don’t leave their children to fend for themselves, Morgan thought.
There was so much to unpack in her psyche regarding her mixed emotions about Justine Atkins.
She had been so young when her mother had died, and she had so many questions, but her entire system was overstimulated.
Morgan couldn’t even form the questions to ask.
Instead, she trusted the one man in her life who had never let her down.
She followed Ethic into the room without argument.
Messiah glanced up, and Ethic approached Yara’s bedside.
Ethic took Messiah in, and the hold he had on those bedrails was so tight that Ethic knew Messiah was near the edge.
His shoulders were hiked up so high that Ethic could practically see the devils sitting on each one.
The boy in Messiah was threatening to spill out.
The part of him that was vulnerable, the part that was terrified, the part that just needed help.
Through all Messiah’s missteps and all his betrayals, Ethic just couldn’t part ways with him. Much like Morgan, they weren’t blood, but they were family.
“I don’t know what to do, OG,” Messiah admitted as stubborn emotion clouded his vision. “Look at her, man.”
Ethic pulled Messiah in by the back of his neck, and Morgan gasped as Messiah reluctantly retreated into Ethic’s embrace.
Messiah’s arms hung at his sides as Ethic whispered sternly into Messiah’s ear.
His words weren’t audible, but the impact they left were visible as Messiah nodded and sobbed while Ethic held him.
Morgan wiped away tears and walked over to the other side of Yara’s bedside to allow them time to have their moment. She knew the type of restoration that took place in Ethic’s embrace. Messiah needed healing. She wanted that for him despite the turmoil between them.
Ethic released Messiah, and Messiah stepped back so that Ethic could get closer to Yara.
The sight of Yara humbled Ethic. He had stood vigil at bedsides one too many times in recent years, and it never got easier.
This put a particular ache in a crevice deep inside of him, a secret place where weakness hid that he didn’t even know existed.
He leaned down and feathered the top of her head with a gentle stroke of his thumb.
A kiss to her forehead followed. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles three times before giving her three gentle squeezes.
Only Yolly knew what the unspoken gesture meant.
I love you, he thought. Three words. Three squeezes.
She would always squeeze or tap him back, only this time, her hand was still.
He had only felt stillness like that when it was accompanied by death, and Ethic was terrified.
He remembered the feeling he had felt when discovering Morgan was pregnant.
It was a mixture of excitement and disappointment.
He had thought she was premature in her quest for motherhood, and that the birth of her children would not only rob her but age him.
He hadn’t been ready to be anyone’s grandfather.
He was still making babies of his own, but the twins’ birth had reinvigorated a new generation of love and wonder in their family.
They were the little souls no one knew were missing.
There was a different feeling that a grandparent experienced with their grandchildren.
He couldn’t quite explain it, but the connection was pure joy.
Yara and Messari had been blessings that their family didn’t even know they needed.
The disease that was plaguing Yara’s body was horrifying.
Little people weren’t supposed to fight big battles. They just weren’t.
“We need Nyair here.” Ethic’s tone was somber. Somebody had to bring God into this room. It was full of despair. They were dejected. They were hopeless. The devil thrived when hearts were weary. Somebody had to restore faith. “Where’s the doctor?”
“They can’t do anything for her tonight,” Messiah said. “The oncologist is the only one who can give us some real answers.”
“They don’t want to call in their hotshot doctors on the weekend. The ER doctors aren’t equipped to handle this. Waiting is unacceptable,” Ethic stated, brow bent in disapproval.
“OG,” Messiah said, “She’s sleeping. I’m not in a rush to wake her.
As soon as the oncologist taps in, the real pain starts.
I’m not looking forward to watching her go through that.
I just want her not to hurt for now.” Messiah sat in the chair next to the bed and reached his hand out to hold Yara’s, sweeping his thumb against her tiny palm.
He was a father, dejected. “Call the pastor, though,” he stated.
If Messiah was asking for Nyair’s presence, it was an indication that this thing was going to get very bad.
Ethic nodded, recognizing Messiah’s authority as Yara’s father. Ethic wanted the doctors in place now, but he wouldn’t override Messiah’s decision. Not yet, at least. As long as Messiah showed and proved that he was handling his business, Ethic would support instead of command.
“I’ll call him,” Morgan whispered as she headed for the hallway where her service was better.
“You stay in this room, Mo. You don’t leave unless I’m with you,” Ethic stated. “Messiah, step outside with me for a minute.”
Messiah frowned because he didn’t miss the protective nature in Ethic.
“What aren’t you saying?” Messiah asked.
Ethic walked out of the room without reply, and Messiah followed.
Ethic’s weariness was all over him as he gritted his teeth and blew out a sharp breath.
“If I’m not at Mo’s side, you are at Mo’s side. She can’t go to the bathroom without protection. You understand me?” Ethic asked.
“That’s done, but what’s really up?” Messiah asked.
“Cuz it’s sounding like shorty got problems, and I’m real good at solving those.
I’m in the exact mood to lay niggas down.
I’m helpless in this hospital. If niggas need to be erased, put me in the field.
I don’t know what to do in here. I know how to put shit down out there. ”
“This is the duality of being a father, Messiah. You can’t be the one taking risks no more.
It’s a lot of moving parts. I can’t be everywhere at once.
I need you here. Yara needs you here. There are other pieces in place doing what’s necessary.
I have to leave and check on Alani and the kids, and I got to go speak to Einstein about walking Mo into that jailhouse.
While I’m gone, you stay on her hip. The police are looking for her. ”
Messiah stepped closer to Ethic, lowering his voice even more. “We ain’t leave no mess. We’ve done that shit a dozen times. Ain’t nothing left behind to tie her to shit.”
“He wasn’t a street nigga that nobody would miss.
You know the routine. They always consider the partner as the first suspect.
She’s the first person they’re going to question, and if she doesn’t answer their questions the right way, they’ll start digging.
So, we hide her and prep her until she’s ready,” Ethic said.
“Nah,” Messiah protested. He bit into his bottom lip, self-deprecating as his head spun.
“Fuck, dawg!” Messiah didn’t know what to do.
He was being stretched thin. His daughter was in danger.
Morgan was in danger. The guilt of Bleu lingered in the back of his mind.
“I’ll turn myself in before I let shorty drown for this.
That nigga was plucking the wings off her, OG. I’ll do a hundred years easy over her.”
“Listen closely to me, Messiah. I’ve had my run.
I’ve lived, and the love of my life doesn’t even remember me right now.
If anybody goes away for this, it’ll be me, but that means you got to step the fuck up.
I cover everybody. Not just myself. Not just my kids.
I cover the whole board. If this goes bad, I need your word that my wife, my newborn daughter, Bella, Eazy, and Morgan will be covered.
And that don’t mean just if you and Morgan are together.
A man covers his family no matter what. Yara and Messari are your blood borne.
I know you got them, but if I ever can’t be there for mine… ”
Messiah’s stomach was hollow. Since he was a boy, he had looked up to Ethic.
He was invincible to Messiah. Even when Alani had plugged him, Messiah had known Ethic would survive.
The thought of him being removed from their lives was unfathomable.
He didn’t miss the fact that Ethic loved him enough to protect him as well.
Ethic gripped Messiah by the back of his neck, and their foreheads met as they bowed their heads.
“I got you,” Messiah guaranteed. This kingdom they all existed under was about to go to war to protect their princess.
There was never a war without loss. Devastation was imminent, and they both knew it.
The moment was brief; a beat of vulnerability and a silent agreement being reached between two flawed, Black men who could have easily hated one another, but who fought every day to choose forgiveness and loyalty instead.
They pulled back like it never even happened at all.
No more words were needed to solidify the oath.
If shit went bad, Messiah would step into Ethic’s shoes and Ethic would take the fall.