Chapter 17
“All There” by Jeezy x Bankroll Fresh
Henny walked through the dormitory, chin up, and eyes shifting around the room.
Henny’s chest felt empty. He used to have so much hope in his heart, so much life in his soul.
He used to laugh. He used to joke. He used to smile.
He couldn’t quite connect his body to any emotion anymore.
He didn’t even want to feel the negative things.
He wanted to feel nothing. No hope. No fear.
Nothing. Learning how to turn everything off was the only way he could make it through his day.
Ever since the judge had sentenced him, he had felt numb.
He had started out in a temporary unit until his permanent placement was determined, and now that he had touched down at the place he’d spend the next seven years of his life, the notion that he wasn’t going home made him regret every drug he had ever touched in his life.
He was in shock, and it hadn’t left him yet.
Henny felt like a specimen under a microscope.
Hundreds of eyes sized him up. He could feel the men behind their cells hawking him.
They stood behind their doors, staring through their peepholes, some kicked on the steel doors as the newbies entered the pod.
Others howled. Some cat called. He had been able to stay out of the way so far, but he had no idea how this unit ran, and he was fighting his own body to not react fearfully.
He was trying not to shake, trying not to let his eyes betray him because if he cried, he would become a target.
He couldn’t let anybody smell weakness on him in here. It was dog-eat-dog.
Henny didn’t even look the same. They had stripped him of his own identity.
His hair had been taken from him. They had shaved him bald, even down to his facial hair.
They had made him strip in a room full of men, searched his anal cavity, and taken his name.
He was no longer li’l Henny. He was a number, a digit, a human machine that belonged to the state of Michigan.
Henny kept his eyes in front of him as the concrete around him felt like a jungle.
Everybody was bigger than him, older than him, stronger than him.
If size was the scale, he was the prey. He knew it.
He could feel it. He walked into his cell and noticed the empty bunk with hot Cheeto bags, candy bars, a honey bun, and noodle packs sitting on top of it.
His heart pumped so hard that he could feel his veins throbbing in his forehead.
“That’s on you, gang. It’s all there. A little welcome present.”
Henny turned around and noticed that his cell was blocked off by two niggas.
“Word came down the pod that you affiliated with The Crew. That true?”
Henny sized the old head up. He was big, a gorilla-ass nigga, pumped from the decade inside he had on Henny.
“I’m good. That don’t belong to me,” Henny said. He wasn’t overly aggressive, but he wasn’t passive either. He kept his voice steady, although he was petrified. He knew better than to accept anything in here. There wasn’t such a thing as a gift. There wasn’t such a thing as free lunch.
“You too good for my gifts, little nigga?” the man asked. His arms were the size of small tree trunks.
“I ain’t going, homie. I don’t want nothing for free,” Henny said.
“You hard of hearing or something? Nigga, you crew or not?” the man asked.
Henny didn’t want to claim shit. He needed to get a feel for the politics in this pod before he said anything.
“Them tats say you crew,” the second man, the door man, watching for the guards piped up.
“You gon’ have to catch the fade, little nigga. Straight up. We don’t fuck with you crew niggas,” the man said. “Niggas thought they could send word up the chain to protect you. Outside rules don’t apply in here. Them niggas ain’t running shit in here.”
“It’s just ink. I ain’t got no smoke up in here. I just touched down. I don’t know nothing ‘bout what you got going on with nobody. I’m just tryna do my time,” Henny said.
“Nah, li’l homie, that ain’t how it go. You want to rest your eyes on this block, you got to catch this fade.
Go’n ahead and take it like a man. You chose your set, my nigga.
You got that shit on you permanently. You inherit they shit, nigga.
That nigga Isa killed my mu’fucking people in broad daylight, my nephew.
You lucky I ain’t splitting your shit open and letting you bleed out up in this mu’fucka.
You just gotta catch the fade like a man.
That’s how this finna go. Ain’t no avoiding it. ”
Henny saw his entire life flash in front of his eyes. There was no way he could squabble with these two men. They were twice his age and three times his size. He squared up anyway because he didn’t have a choice.
Then door man didn’t even move, but big man took Henny’s legs from under him.
Henny threw blows, aggressive blows, bone-breaking blows, but there was only so much a 140-pound kid could do against a 230-pound man.
The man’s fist crashed into Henny’s face and his ribs, and Henny felt his organs scream.
“Get down, nigga! Fuck you doing?” the man barked as Henny crawled back to his feet with every blow.
BOOM!
Henny’s vision was blurred; the blows were so vicious, but he still staggered weakly back to his feet.
“GET DOWN!”
BOOM!
It felt like sledgehammers were colliding with his body.
“That’s a tough little nigga,” the door man said.
“Nah, he gon’ break,” the man said, delivering another blow to Henny’s jaw.
BOOM!
That blow took all sound from Henny, and he went down hard, hitting the metal toilet along the way.
“Yo, yo, yo,” Door man called out, signaling that they were hot and that a C.O. was in sight.
Henny could barely sip air, and there was so much blood in his eyes that all he could see was his attacker’s feet as he ran out of the room. He lay on the filthy floor of the cell, and he was sure he was dying.
The last thing he heard was the sound of the alarm blaring and someone yelling, “We got a situation up here! LOCK IT DOWN!” Then, he was out.
“1-800-HEARTbrEAK” by Summer Walker
“Mo’s here!” Eazy shouted. The joy he expressed at first sight made Morgan feel a sudden emotion she couldn’t explain.
He hugged her. “Where is Yolly? When can we see her?” Eazy had rapid-fire questions for Morgan before she could even get through the door. “Where’s Messari?”
“She’s still at Hurley, E,” Morgan informed. “I’m hoping to bring her home soon. Kids can’t visit, but as soon as she gets out, we’ll be here. You’ll be able to give her all the love.”
“Is she in pain?” Eazy asked.
Morgan didn’t want to tell him the truth. She didn’t want to see his eyes change like everyone else’s just yet. There was an inevitable doom that invaded the hearts of men when the big C was mentioned. She didn’t have the heart to tell him, not yet. “Just pray, okay?” Morgan asked.
Eazy nodded and wrapped his arms around Mo.
Eazy’s hugs were always full of love and hope.
He had been her first baby. Since the day Raven had died, Morgan had placed Eazy in an extra-special chamber of her heart.
They had been raised together, and she was more sibling than aunt, but he had been the first heartbeat she had felt outside of her chest.
Bella hugged her next.
“Where’s Alani?” Morgan asked, looking to Ethic.
“She’s probably resting. I’ll find Mara and see if she’s up to coming down,” Ethic said. “Let me know when you’re ready to head to the hospital.”
Morgan checked her phone and replied, “Messari’s pulling up with Aria now, actually.”
Morgan opened the app that controlled the front gate, and she typed in her code to let Aria onto the property. She walked outside, eagerly meeting Aria in the driveway.
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”
Messari’s voice was music to Morgan’s ears as Aria freed him from the backseat. Morgan ran across the yard to meet him halfway.
The pure joy in his squeals was like a beacon for Morgan, drawing her near as she picked him up and smothered him with tight hugs and endless kisses.
“I missed you soooo much, Mommy’s Ssari,” she said. Aria smiled as she emerged slowly from the car, gathering Messari’s things.
“Did you have fun with Auntie Ari and Uncle Isa?” Mo asked.
“So much fun. Uncle Isa started a fire!” Messari reported.
“Boy, hush,” Aria said, laughing as she leaned in to blow raspberries against his cheek.
“A fire?” Morgan asked, grinning in confusion as she looked to Aria for answers.
“Girl, don’t even ask. Not a real fire. Nephew was in good hands,” Aria assured, laughing.
“I have no doubt. Thank you, Aria. I appreciate y’all so much.” Morgan’s sigh was full of gratitude and exhaustion that she couldn’t quite vocalize.
“Anytime. You know we got y’all. Whatever you need. I was supposed to be leaving to audition for a few tours, but I’m putting all that on hold. It feels like I need to be in town right now,” Aria said.
“Aria, no,” Morgan replied. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t ask, Mo. What I look like, leaving while my niece is sick?” Aria frowned.
“This is your moment, though. It might not come back around,” Morgan said.
“Take it, Aria. I don’t know what fight we have in front of us, but I know it’s long and hard.
You can’t pass this up. I won’t let you.
If I could, I would be on the road with you, auditioning and dancing our way through city after city.
I made a different choice a long time ago.
I became a mom, and that means I got to sit some stuff out sometimes.
But you have to go fuck up the stage for both of us.
If you winning, I’m winning. I can only experience it through your eyes right now.
So, nah, girl, go and pop your biggest shit. If I need you, I’ll call.”
Aria nodded while her eyes brimmed with tears.