Chapter 38
FINN
The wedding was the Saturday after next, and I still hadn’t found a present for Daniel and Sophie that felt good enough for them. They would have been irritated if they knew I was getting them anything at all, but they would have to deal with it.
“What about a lamp?” Hunter asked from the other end of the aisle, tugging a gold chain that turned a display lamp on and off.
I glared at him, dropping my head back to stare at the ceiling. “Please be serious.”
“I am being serious.” He closed the space between us and rubbed a conciliatory apology against the top of my spine. “What if you just put on some sexy lingerie and gave them a blank check to have their way with you?”
“That’s a normal Tuesday, Hunt.”
He let his hand drop away from my back with feigned disgust.
“Let me just take another quick pass through the last aisle and if nothing jumps out at me, we can go.”
Hunter gave me a mock salute and wandered on his own toward the front of the store.
It was probably my own fault for wanting to get something house-related for the wedding present, and ignoring their registry completely didn’t help matters.
Over the last five months, we’d all made a home of both houses, having already agreed any plans to buy or sell would be on hold until after the wedding planning.
Sophie was buried neck deep in work, and even though they’d long since agreed to do a private ceremony at the courthouse, she was still very stressed about the plans.
I kept waiting for jealousy to sneak up behind me and whisper horrible things into my ear, to try and convince me that they didn’t love me the way they said they did because if it were true, they would have called off the wedding or something.
There was no logic in that and their commitment was clear to me every time Daniel kissed the side of my neck, my ring finger, or the spot two inches below my navel that always made me shiver.
I was happier with Daniel and Sophie than I’d been with anyone in years, myself included, and that was why the wedding present was so important.
At the end of the aisle, tucked away in the corner of a shelf like it had been misplaced, I found a nightstand organizer.
It certainly wasn’t something any of us needed, but it was split into three even sections and there was something about the uniformity of it that I appreciated.
Even if it wasn’t the gift, it was something I wanted to get for the three of us anyway.
I tucked it under my arm and stood, reaching into my pocket to get my phone to text Hunter to meet me at the register, but I was interrupted by a man clearing his throat behind me.
I turned, hating the way my breath caught in my throat, the way my body tingled with awareness at the scent of an almost forgotten cologne.
“Finn,” Neil said, head cocked to the side in a curious way, like he was seeing me behind glass.
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I’d played this scenario through in my head a hundred times before, maybe more.
There were times I’d fling myself into his arms and cry against his shoulder.
I could sometimes feel the material of his shirt in my fingers, the warm expanse of his chest beneath me.
There were other times when I hit him in the face, hard against his cheek.
Sometimes a bruise bloomed; others, he turned before I had a chance to see.
But none of the replays prepared me for the real thing, for the very solid presence of him less than three feet away from me for the first time in more than half a year.
I adjusted my grip on the nightstand organizer and took a step backward.
At my retreat, Neil frowned. He reached up and shoved his hair back from his forehead.
He was blond, but the cut was shaggier than it had been before, strands nearly reaching his shoulders.
He didn’t look anything like himself, even if he was everything I remembered him to be.
“You look good,” he said.
“I…”
“I know we didn’t leave things on the best terms.”
I scoffed in spite of myself. “That’s an understatement.”
“I’m sorry about that, by the way. About the way things went in the end.”
“Not sorry about the way they started?”
I’d done a lot of thinking about that too, and I firmly believed the beginning of our misguided relationship was worse than the end of it. They’d had no right to approach anyone to bring into their relationship, but that hadn’t stopped them.
Neil held up his hands in surrender, and I felt the barest hint of relief to see his left ring finger bare.
“Also that,” he said. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back onto his heels. “Annette and I are done for real now. The divorce is final and everything.”
“Good,” I rasped.
“I’ve been good since.” Neil tucked his chin toward his chest. “Trying to get things on track again.”
“Okay.”
“How have you been?”
I bit the inside of my cheek and swallowed down the taste of copper.
“I don’t want to do this with you,” I told him, even though the words were soft and shaky.
He managed a weak laugh. “I deserve that, but—”
“There is no but.”
“Annette had me all messed up,” he went on. “You know what I mean? Of course you do. We talked about it that night it was just the two of us—”
“Neil.”
“She was toxic for me. For you. It’s been hard to start over, and I feel good without her, Finn…but I miss you.”
“Neil,” I said his name again, but he didn’t stop.
“I think about you every day, Finn. I hate how things ended, and I want a chance to make it right.”
He took a step toward me, and I took another step back, almost in the aisle. I glanced toward the front of the store, hoping to see Hunter but coming up empty.
“I don’t—”
“Finn, please.”
Another step and my back collided with someone’s chest. I turned to find Hunter there, his dark eyes focused on Neil. I righted myself, feeling more capable of defending myself with my brother beside me than I had on my own.
“Who’s this?” Hunter asked, same tone he used in court.
“Neil,” I murmured.
Hunter’s lip twitched. “Neil,” he repeated.
Across from us, Neil let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve never heard my name sound like a slur before.”
Hunter gave him a flash of a smile that fell away as quickly as it had appeared. Then he turned his attention solely on me, on the organizer held in a death grip against my side.
“Did you find what you were looking for?” he asked me.
“Yeah.”
“Ready to go?”
I glanced at Neil. “Almost,” I whispered, clearing my throat. “Just give me two minutes.”
“One.”
“Yes, your honor.”
The unhappiness was clear on Hunter’s face, but he turned away from me and headed back toward the front of the store walking slower than I’d ever seen.
“Is that your boyfriend?” Neil asked when Hunter was out of earshot.
“My brother.”
“Oh.” He rubbed his chin. “I never met him.”
I thought about Daniel and Sophie, how much all four of my brothers loved them. How the first dinner at Cunningham’s had changed the shape of our Friday nights. How it was still meant for me and my brothers, but the first Saturday of the month was an open invite for our partners to attend.
“I know,” I said.
“If he’s not your boyfriend—”
I shook my head, cutting him off before he even had the audacity to get the rest of the question out into the open.
“I’m seeing someone,” I told him. “Two someones.”
“Another couple?”
Neil grimaced, his own hurt and loss clear on his face.
“Not your business,” I said. “I blocked your number for a reason.”
“I didn’t know you blocked me. I thought you were just ignoring me.”
“I’d rather do both,” I admitted, giving him one last look before turning and walking away.
I made it through checkout without losing my cool, but the tears started to fall on the walk through the parking lot to Hunter’s car.
I’d gone over to have lunch with him and Lincoln, and he’d offered to drive.
He unlocked the doors before I reached for the handle, and once we were both inside, I lost the very tenuous grip I’d had on myself.
Hunter took the bag out of my hands and set it down in the back seat, then he reached over the center console and wrapped his arms around me.
The watery cry I let loose against his shoulder should have been embarrassing, but I was too deep in my own feelings to care.
It was like a dam bursting, and I scrabbled my hands over Hunter’s shoulders, making sure he couldn’t get away.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything except gasp for air as I cried out all the heartache I didn’t even know I’d been carrying.
Hunter smoothed his hands up and down my back while I ruined his shirt with snot and tears and spit.
Time turned into nothing, and it wasn’t until the silence in the car made my ears ring that I realized I’d stopped crying.
Pulling away, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and collapsed against the passenger door.
I covered my face with my hands and angled my head forward to press my cheek against the cool glass window.
My heart still hammered violently and my nose was plugged from crying, but I could hear the sound of my own breath, the measured inhales from Hunter to my side.
“Finn.”
“I’m fine,” I muttered.
“You’re not.”
“I wasn’t,” I corrected. “I feel better now.”
“You’re going to crash,” he said simply, and I caught him worrying his tongue against the corner of his mouth. “What are Sophie and Daniel doing?”
“They’re home.”
“What’s their address?”
I snorted, shaking my head. “I don’t want to go over there like this.”
In fact, I couldn’t think of anything worse than having my brother drop me off on their porch, tear-stained and despondent.
“Why?”
Why?
Because this was embarrassing; it was shameful.
I didn’t want either of them to know how much Neil and Annette had hurt me.
I didn’t want Daniel to be reminded of how weak and miserable I’d been before them.
Also, because I didn’t want to taint them with a past that wasn’t theirs.
It wasn’t fair to bring my mess into their life.
“That’s not what they signed up for,” I finally answered.
“That’s exactly what they signed up for.”
I exhaled, sagging against the seat and staring out the windshield until I could see the shapes of the cars and not just the colors. I pressed my fingers against my eyes and wiped as many tears off my face as I could, but my skin was wet, my face still a disaster.
“1412 Lakeshore,” I said.
“Do you need to let them know you’re coming?”
Hunter tapped the address into his nav and backed out of the parking place. Begrudgingly, I clipped my seatbelt into place and stared down at my hands.
“I have a key,” I muttered.
“This is exactly what they signed up for, Finn.” Hunter repeated, sounding so much like Marshall that I briefly debated the merits of rolling down the window and jumping out of it.
I was grateful in that moment that I’d called Smith the day I got arrested, not Hunter.
He might have found himself in handcuffs in the middle of the store if he’d known how broken I’d been after the final breakup.
I should tell him, because he was my brother and I didn’t want to keep things from him, but we were still too close to the store and I didn’t trust him to not turn around and go back for Neil.
“If you say so,” I said instead.
“I do. Do you think I don’t love Lincoln on his bad days?”
“This isn’t about Lincoln.”
“No,” he agreed. “It’s about love.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that, so I stayed quiet the rest of the ride to Daniel and Sophie’s house. Hunter pulled up alongside the curb and cut the engine. He reached over and undid my seatbelt, then his own.
“What are you doing?”
“Walking you to the door.”
“That’s not necessary, Hunt.” I grasped the handle to get out of the car, but Hunter reached over the console and grabbed my forearm.
“I don’t know everything that happened with him…with them, but I know the man you were was not the Finn Covington that I know,” Hunter said softly. “I was scared before, for you…for us, if something happened to you.”
“It wasn’t that serious,” I deflected, but maybe it had been.
“I won’t argue with you about it,” he said. “But I am walking you to the door, and I am handing you off or I’m not leaving.”
“Alright, Marshall.” I shrugged my arm out of his grip, and there was no heat in my concession.
Hunter rolled his eyes at me and got out of the car, joining me on the sidewalk. The shoulder of his shirt was still wet and wrinkled from where I’d cried in the parking lot, and I was glad I hadn’t thought to flip down the visor and use the mirror to check my face before getting out of the car.
“They’re good for you,” he said, matching my steps up the walk to the front door.
“I know.”
A triple nightstand organizer felt silly in comparison to the gift Daniel and Sophie had given me just by loving me as I was.
Hunter knocked on the door, and I could hear Sophie’s music drifting through the house, the sound of heavy footsteps as Daniel headed for the front door. It opened, and I blinked hard before looking down at my feet.
“Everything is fine,” Hunter said, patting the small of my back. “But I’ll let him share the details.”
Daniel reached out for me, took my hand, pulled me toward him.
“I’m fine,” I murmured into Daniel’s chest. He wrapped me up, angled me toward the living room.
“Thank you for bringing him over,” Daniel said.
“I’ll come get my car later,” I said to my brother.
“I don’t care about your car.”
“Of course not.” I squared my shoulders. “Thank you for driving me, Hunter.”
“Just for driving?” My brother let out an amused laugh, and I found the strength to flip him off. He jangled his keys and took a step away from the front door. “Sophie has Marshall’s number, have her text him to get mine. If you need anything—”
“I’ll call,” Daniel promised.
“I’m fine,” I said again, and both of them ignored me.
Rightly so.