8. Ezekiel
8
EZEKIEL
I kiss her, swallowing the sound of her cry when she comes. She moans into my mouth, the sound undistinguishable from that of pain. Unable to get close enough, I grind against her, needing more of her. The throbbing walls of her pussy push me over the edge, making me come hard as I hold her to me, trying not to hurt her as my fingers dig into tender flesh to bring her closer, ever closer. My cock throbs inside her warm, tight pussy, filling her, marking her, leaving a little of myself inside her. Her mouth tastes like copper and honey, blood and sweetness, mine and hers, and orgasm seems to throb and pulsate through me for an eternity and not for nearly long enough.
When it s over, we re both left panting. I pull out of Blue as her grip on me loosens and I lay her down. Our eyes are locked and the way she looks at me is different. Is it fear? Fear at what she saw. The violence she knows me to be capable of. After witnessing the bloody mayhem I left behind with her own two eyes, how does she see me? Me, this killer she just begged to make love to her.
To make love .
Not fuck.
I did not miss her word choice.
And I made love to her the only way I know how. Hard and deep and painful. Pain plays along the knife edge of pleasure always with me. Does she understand this now?
Blue s eyes never leave mine as I straighten to stand. I glance down to see come spill from between her legs before I pull the blanket over her. From the closet, I grab the first things I see, a pair of jeans and a shirt and pull them on. I walk into the bathroom where I left the shower running and switch it off. I wet a washcloth and carry that along with the first-aid kit beneath the sink back into the bedroom.
Blue hasn t moved. She watches me return in that strange, new way.
She has seen the man beneath the mask. The beast. The killer.
Killing Wyatt the way I did, it was brutal. And, as sick as it sounds, my hands flex now at the memory of driving that nail into his eye. At gutting the animal like the pig he was.
Is this what she sees now? Why isn t she repelled? And how can I talk of making love ? I know what I am and now she knows it too. A furious, murdering monster. How can I utter the word love? How can I make love when none exists inside me? And to someone like her? She is innocent. She is desperate. She is alone. She is a stranger in a world of money and power and men willing and capable of murder.
This is my world. Not hers. My world where the stakes are life and death. What right have I to touch her with blood-stained hands?
Zeke?
I blink, pupils focusing on Blue.
Are you okay? she asks.
I sit down beside her and place the washcloth between her legs to clean her.
She touches my cheek. I look at her. Zeke. Where did you go just now?
Nowhere. I drop the washcloth to the floor and get to work on her cuts, letting this other side of me take over. The boy who once wanted to be a surgeon. The one who wanted to do good. To care. To help.
Zeke? she asks as I clean a cut before bandaging it.
I glance at her, raise my eyebrows to signal for her to continue but turn my attention to the next cut.
What is it? she asks again, touching my face to make me look at her.
Nothing. Just thinking. Turn on your stomach. The damage to your back was the worst.
I work in silence and Blue lies still. Only when I m finished do I realize she s fallen asleep. I stand, look down at her face. She s peaceful like this. Innocent. And young. Nineteen. What am I doing with her? What the hell am I doing making love to her? I have no business touching her. When I started this, wait, no, she started it sending that letter, but when I took her from The Cat House that first night, it was to confront my blackmailer. To handle the situation however I needed to. I wasn t expecting Blue to be, well, Blue.
We ve come a long way since that night.
I exhale, switch out the light. I need a drink. But when I turn to go, Blue s hand closes around mine.
Stay with me.
Sleep, Blue.
I see her shake her head in the light coming in from the windows. Stay with me. Just for a little while.
I need to talk to Robbie. Figure out?—
I m scared. I don t want to be alone right now. Her voice is quieter than I ve ever heard it, her eyes red and wet. Please, stay with me just until I fall asleep.
I nod because hearing that she s scared, well, there s no way I can say no.
Not bothering to undress, I climb into the bed beside her and when she curls into me, I hold her. She lays her warm cheek against my chest. I feel the damp of her tears. I stare up at the ceiling, but I don t say a word.
Thank you for coming for me. Thank you for not forgetting me.
I nod, not trusting myself to speak, and listen to her soft, even breaths as she drifts off, exhausted, back to the oblivion of sleep.
* * *
To my surprise, I sleep. I d only expected to stay until she was settled, but I sleep until I m awakened by the sun and a glance at my phone tells me it s a little after eight in the morning. It also shows me all the missed calls from my brother. I ll deal with those soon enough.
The sun casts a line of light across Blue s face. Her breathing is soft and even, her face relaxed. I lift the blanket and slip out of the bed, seeing again the welts covering every inch of her body. Hoxton was brutal. He deserved his death. She s alive. She ll heal. And neither Wyatt nor Levi will ever hurt her again.
I tuck her in and walk out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind myself. I walk downstairs to the kitchen where I find a pen and paper and leave a note telling her I ll be back soon in case she wakes up while I m away. I consider whether to leave her phone. She ll know I have the flash drive if I do. But it doesn t matter anymore so I set the phone on top of the note.
She s exhausted after her ordeal, and I doubt she ll wake but just in case. I quickly splash water on my face in the downstairs bathroom and finger comb my hair before walking out of the house and locking the door behind me.
The smell of breakfast hits me as soon as I walk in the front door of my brother s house. Cinnamon, bacon and coffee and the sounds of excited children come from the kitchen. I think I should bring Blue. She d like this.
I stop myself at that thought. We re not playing house, Blue and I. I need to remember that.
I hear my brother s voice just as I get to the kitchen. He s still in his clothes from last night. His jacket is gone, and his sleeves are rolled up as he stands at the stove helping Angelique flip a pancake while Cynthia juices oranges.
Our mother moved to a small house in town when Isabelle and Jericho moved in full time but she s here often babysitting.
Isabelle is sitting at the table with Matty and Christian at her side. Adan is in a bouncy chair playing with a toy dangling from it. She s the first to see me.
There you are, she says, her expression worried, her eyes tired as she tries to smile.
Jericho turns to me. I see the energy it s taking him to put on this show of normality for the family.
Uncle Zeke! You made it! Angelique rushes to me, and I crouch down to catch her when she throws herself into my arms. She s grown taller. I ve seen the subtle changes in her over FaceTime, but it s so different seeing her in person.
I couldn t pass up pancakes with my favorite niece, I say, lifting her up, wondering if I should be touching her at all with hands capable of such violence. Hands that just hours ago were stained with the blood of two dead men.
She wraps her arms around my neck to hug me tight. I m your only niece, she says when she draws back, an expression very similar to my brother s on her face.
That is true but still.
Her forehead furrows and she turns my face with her small hands. You re hurt, Uncle Zeke.
Jericho carries a plate of pancakes to the counter, wary eyes on me.
I m fine. Just clumsy.
You too? Mom broke her arm dancing last night. She s going to get a hot pink cast.
Is she? I ask, setting Angelique down and glancing at Isabelle who helps Christian climb into one of the seats at the counter.
Guess I m a little bit clumsy too, Isabelle says. How is Blue?
Sleeping.
Isabelle seems relieved.
Who s Blue? Angelique asks, not missing a beat.
No one, Jericho interjects. Sit down and have your pancakes.
She rolls her eyes dramatically at her dad, which offers Isabelle and I momentary comic relief. Do you want chocolate chip or blueberry? Angelique asks me, already making me a plate.
One of each, I say as I greet the other children who don t know me as well and are less comfortable around me.
My brother leans against the counter drinking coffee. He watches his family, and I can see the wheels turning in his head. Somehow, I smile and say all the appropriate things as Angelique tells me about school and what she s doing today while we eat our pancakes. Fifteen minutes later, Jericho clears his throat.
Cynthia, can you give Isabelle a hand getting the little ones ready for school.
Of course, Cynthia says.
Isabelle mutters something in Jericho s ear and he nods. Don t worry, he tells her, before we leave the kitchen and head to his office.
How is Isabelle really? I ask.
Exhausted. We just walked in about half an hour ago. Not to mention she s very worried about you. And about Blue. She s pregnant, Brother. I don t want her stressed.
Neither do I.
We wait to say more until we re inside the office and the door is closed behind us. What the hell happened last night? I called you about a zillion times, but you had your phone switched off. He eyes the bruise on my jaw, the fainter one on my cheekbone.
I d left a message letting him know I had Blue, and we were fine then silenced my phone.
Robbie found the location Hoxton had taken her. You talked to him? I ask.
Briefly. Told me he told you not to go alone. Like I did. And yet, off you went.
You d have done the same if it was Isabelle.
Isabelle is my wife.
Well, I wasn t going to leave Blue with him. And it s a good thing I didn t wait. She d have been dead by this morning. As I say it, I hear it, and I know it s true. The thought makes me stop, sending a shudder through me.
Jericho s mouth opens but he closes it again. Tell me what happened. Where is she? he asks more softly.
Asleep at the house. She s in pretty bad shape. He beat her. I didn t get there in time to stop that.
That s not your fault.
I sigh. I know that on some level but if I d been with her, he wouldn t have gotten her.
We didn t know about the brother. I m guessing he s out of the picture too?
I nod. Did they find the body at the compound? Any word on that? I thought they d have gone into lockdown by now.
Me too. But there s nothing. When I called to let the women s group know Isabelle wouldn t be attending today s lunch, they took note and wished her well and that was that. They re keeping Hoxton s death hush-hush.
Hmm. Blue and Robbie both mentioned a name last night. Girard.
Jericho s forehead furrows. That settles it. I m sending Isabelle and the kids away until I know exactly what and who we re dealing with. What happened last night could have been so much worse. She put my family in danger, Zeke.
I hardly think that was her fault. We took her to the compound, remember? Jericho opens his mouth but a knock on the door calls our attention. Jericho calls for whoever it is to come in. We re both surprised when we see Dex.
Jericho smiles and gets up to greet him. I told you to take the day off, he says, looking him over.
What am I going to do lie around all day? I m just a little banged up. Nothing major. He looks at me. Zeke, he says in greeting before turning back to Jericho. I saw Isabelle. Says she s all right. Is she?
Shaken up for sure but physically, she ll be fine.
How s Blue? he asks, turning to me.
She ll be okay, I think.
He came out of nowhere. Just rammed right into us, Dex says. I didn t even see?—"
Nothing you could have done, Dex, I say.
Isabelle clears her throat, and we turn to find her standing in the doorway. She looks at Jericho but addresses us. If you two don t mind, I d like to talk to my husband.
My brother sighs. It s weirdly satisfying to see how he is when it comes to his wife. I pat his back. Good luck. I m going back to the house. I want to be there when Blue wakes up.
I m picking up Robbie in a few hours. Heard she had the flash drive all along, Jericho says before I leave.
I don t respond, but I m sure he sees the clenching of my jaw.
Robbie and I will come to the Bishop house to figure out next steps. Do not leave until I get there, understand? Jericho says to me.
Not planning on it. I turn to Isabelle. I m glad to see you ll be okay and that the baby wasn t hurt.
Thanks. Make sure Blue has my phone number, will you?
I nod. Oh, almost forgot. I reach into my pocket to take the earrings Isabelle had lent Blue. I d found them on the nightstand in that cabin. Here.
She seems surprised as she holds out her hand to take them. I call out a quick goodbye to the kids, promise I ll be back later and leave the house.