13. Blue
13
BLUE
I t takes all I have to muster up a smiling, happy face when we pick up Wren and Rudy later that morning. Zeke drives us all to the new facility. Wren is impressed with Zeke s SUV and if he s irritated at her putting the window up and down for much of the drive, he doesn t let it show. I watch him as he answers all her questions, and although I can hear he s distracted, his mind on all that s going on, he takes his time with her, and I appreciate that.
I m sure Rudy senses something is off but doesn t say anything.
When we get to the new facility, the director comes to greet us, well, mostly Zeke. She seems like a nice enough woman, but I know it s Zeke s money that s buying all this concerned attention, her over-the-top welcome of my sister, but I ll take it because Wren is thrilled by the waiting balloons, the walls that have been painted baby blue just for her. It s her favorite color, she tells everyone.
Once we ve unpacked my sister s things and Rudy gets lunch ready for Wren, Zeke takes the woman out into the hallway I suppose to explain the two men who will be stationed here 24/7 and that no one, absolutely no one, is allowed to visit Wren apart from the two of us. I give Wren a hug and am grateful at how lighthearted she seems. How happy.
That s a pretty necklace, Blue, she says, pointing.
I reach up to touch it, having forgotten the thin collar, the small, sparkling lock. A shudder goes through me at the memory of what Wyatt Hoxton had said he d do to take it off my neck once I was dead.
Thanks, I say to my sister, making a mental note to not wear it next time I come to visit.
Is it a gift? she asks, eyes over my shoulder at Zeke as she sways a little, a small smile playing on her lips.
Maybe, I play along.
Can I try it on?
Yes, of course, but I have to bring the key to unlock it. I ll bring it next time, okay?
She nods and I follow her gaze to watch Zeke who has his phone pressed to his ear but is watching us. He looks pensive.
He likes you. He keeps looking at you.
I shift my gaze back to Wren. Oh, it s not like that, I say, butterflies in my belly even in the midst of all this fear and chaos.
Is he your boyfriend? Wren asks, ignoring my comment. Her tone is almost like I remember it. Like I remember her.
I search her eyes for more but there isn t more. I shrug a shoulder. Um...
Are you going to get married? she asks, putting a little musical note into the question as she hugs her arms happily around herself.
Zeke clears his throat and makes me jump. I hope he didn t hear that.
Wren looks up at him more easily than she had the last time. I have to have lunch now but when you come back, you can swim too, she tells him. I m a good swimmer. She furrows her eyebrows at that and turns to me. Right, Blue? I m a good swimmer, right?
She was. I don t know if she is anymore.
I ll be the judge of that after lunch and a nap, Rudy says, saving the day.
Nap? Wren wrinkles her nose at him.
You know what they say. You can t swim on a full stomach, and I need to eat.
We should go, Zeke whispers, wrapping a hand around the back of my neck in that way he has, thumb playing along my nape. Goosebumps rise in the wake of his fingers, and I find myself melting into his touch.
I have to go now, Wren, but I ll be back to visit very soon, okay? I tell my sister as Rudy settles her at the table in her room. I m grateful Zeke has arranged for all of this, knowing I d never be able to do even half of what he s done for her. I just don t have that kind of money.
After giving Wren one more small hug and a kiss on top of her head, Zeke and I head back to town, driving in silence for most of the way until he pulls into the parking lot of a high-end salon.
You know I can just get a bottle of hair dye at the drug store for like ten bucks, right?
I m sure you can.
He pulls around back where a Rolls Royce is parked, two men sitting inside it. He parks the SUV and nods to the men.
Who are they?
Protection. He must see the look on my face because he quickly continues. Nothing to worry about, just being extra cautious.
He opens his door but before he climbs out, I reach out to lay a hand on his arm. That call you took, you looked worried.
He shakes his head. Just my brother.
Oh, okay. Anyway, I wanted to thank you.
It s fine, Blue.
No, it s a lot. I appreciate what you re doing for my sister, and I promise I will pay you back?—
Don t worry about that.
Zeke—
I have more money than I know what to do with.
Well, I guess I m not super comfortable with you spending it on me here, for example.
He sighs and, closing the door, turns to me. You thanked me. I m happy to be able to help your sister. We re good.
The back door of the salon opens and a man waves to us, making a sweeping gesture for us to enter.
That s Jacque. He s doing me a favor so let s not waste his time.
Fine. But I m paying you back.
Fine. He shrugs a shoulder and climbs out of the SUV. I do the same and we walk toward Jacque. Zeke introduces us and we walk inside. I imagine this place is booked months in advance but rather than going into the main salon, Jacque shows us into a large private room set for just one client. Everything in the room screams luxury. It s like a personal beauty salon.
Wow, I comment.
Society women enjoy their privacy, Jacque tells me as he gestures to a rack of what looks like brand new clothes. The things you asked for arrived. Voila, he says to Zeke. Anything that is not to your liking they ll pick up later.
Clothes? I ask.
Zeke walks his fingers through the rack, quickly rifling through the various jeans and tops and more casual wear than what s in the suitcase. He s not checking a single price tag. I know how much designer jeans cost, and these are designer.
We ll take them all, Zeke says.
Hold on. I shake my head. That s too much. What I just told you, did you hear anything I said?
Zeke turns to Jacque, and it takes that one glance between them for Jacque to excuse himself.
Helping me with my sister is one thing, but all this? I can t accept it, I say once we re alone.
You have one pair of jeans, Blue. One. I don t think what Isabelle sent is your style.
The clothes are very nice and I m grateful, but?—
You re not used to being looked after. He takes my arms and rubs them. I furrow my brows, his words stopping me. He s right. So let me do it. For now. All you have to do is say thank you and move on.
This isn t that simple. There s more going on beneath the surface between us. I m having feelings for him and after last night, I don t know, maybe he s having those same feelings for me, but maybe it s wishful thinking. I can t be sure because one minute he s warning me to stay away and the next he s kissing me like he does, fucking me. No. Not fucking me. He s making love to me in his own way. What we re doing, it s not just fucking no matter how much he may tell himself that.
But this man is a walking contradiction. He s experienced in ways I can t begin to comprehend. I m falling for him. Hell, I ve fallen for him. And he s warned me not to. But then he does these things and I m so fucking confused.
This isn t only about some jeans, is it? he asks.
I take a deep breath in because I do need to discuss one other thing. I need you to remove yourself as a contact for Wren.
He pauses for a beat. What?
You re the primary contact on her file. Rudy mentioned it.
I didn t realize it mattered. You re also listed as a contact, Blue.
But you re the primary. That means you could decide to move her without my knowledge and?—
What? he asks, sounding more than confused.
I mean, you could?—
Don t be stupid. His hands tighten on my arms.
I m not being stupid. And Rudy. The money you deposited into his account before he even had a chance to consider it.
I paid him a very generous bonus to go to the new facility with your sister. I thought that s what you d want.
It is. I mean… It s just how you re doing it. Zeke, I can t… I don t know…
It s not a big deal. I mean, what do you think I m going to do, kidnap Wren?
I hear how stupid that sounds. I just don t like being in anyone s debt. That s all.
You don t owe me anything. Period. I m getting fucking tired of this conversation.
Why? Why are you doing all this?
For fuck s sake, Blue.
I shake my head, not understanding. The way he looks at me, he way he touches me all contradict his warning to me that he can t give me more.
Tell me why. Maybe if I understand why it ll help.
His jaw tightens.
Zeke—
Just let me take care of this. Of you. I failed my sister, Blue. I don t want to fail you.
I look up at him, slow to process his words. My heart sinks to my stomach. That s what this is. I need to remember that. He is atoning for having failed his sister, a sin that doesn t belong to him but one he holds tight to his chest, nonetheless. I just have to remember what it means for me. For us. When he kisses me, when he makes love to me, I can t let myself get lost in it. I must guard my heart. He s warned me. God, he s warned me so many times. And I m so stupid.
Okay? he asks, peering down at me.
I nod.
I ve got you, Blue, he says. I promise.
Jacque knocks on the door, opening it a crack. Knock-knock. Are you ready for me?
Zeke steps away, turns to Jacque who enters. Go ahead.