15. Blue
15
BLUE
Z eke walks in the door just as Jacque is putting the finishing touches on my hair. It s taken all I have not to break down and cry because I keep going over that conversation again and again trying to wrap my brain around what he said.
I am Zeke s atonement.
Didn t I know that? Wasn t he honest about it from day one? He was, yes, but it still hurts to hear it, after all that s happened.
I need to steel myself. Focus. I m in danger. Wren is in danger. And Zeke can help me get out of it. Whatever his reasons, I need him to keep us safe. I just need to keep reminding myself of this and putting all that other stuff in that overfull box I ve buried that I ll deal with another time.
My heartbeat still picks up at the sight of him. I meet his gaze in the mirror and smile, anxious if he ll like what I ve done, but the look on his face is serious and I don t know if he d notice if I d dyed my hair pink. He s so lost in thought, it takes him a full minute to rearrange his features, mask what I just glimpsed, and force a tight smile.
Voila, Jacque says, swiping away the protective robe around my shoulders with a flourish. Is he oblivious to the tension Zeke carried in with him?
Zeke blinks and his eyes focus on me.
I push my hair behind my ear. The blue is gone, my hair dyed close to its natural black with deep maroon lowlights. It s shorter, coming to my chin in layered waves. The biggest change is the thick fringe of bangs that hit just above my eyelashes which Jacque shellacked with heaps of mascara.
Jacque ruffles my hair yet again. Sets off her eyes, don t you think? he asks, his gaze on my reflection in the mirror.
Zeke is momentarily speechless.
I turn the chair and stand to face him. Don t you like it? I ask, unsure now, thinking maybe I shouldn t have let Jacque cut off so much because it falls too short to bring forward and cover the scar.
Zeke takes my hand, and I am aware I was doing just that. He pushes the hair back from my face.
It does set off her eyes, he says to Jacque but looks at me. I like it. I like it very much.
I smile, feeling relieved. Thanks, I say to them both.
Ready? Zeke asks me.
I nod. Should we pack up the clothes?
Someone will pick them up later today, he says and looks me over. I ve changed into a pair of jeans and casual V-neck T-shirt. They re definitely more me. You know where to send the bill?
Jacque nods and Zeke wraps his hand around the back of my neck to lead me out.
Where did you go? I ask as we climb into the SUV.
Just a quick errand, he says, and I know he s holding something back.
What errand?
He shakes his head. My brother and I have been invited to Councilor Augustus s home for a chat.
What?
I m taking you to the house. You ll stay there with Isabelle until we re back.
You can t go!
How do you expect me to not go?
I worry my lip, push my hand into my hair as I think. Does he know it was you who killed Hoxton?
Not sure. We ll find out, I guess.
But—
He takes my hand, squeezes it. He has something to lose, Blue. If he didn t, he d have hauled me in front of The Tribunal.
I don t want you to go, I tell him, afraid for him, for myself, for Wren. Even for Jericho.
It s fine. You ll be safe and I ll be fine. Augustus doesn t scare me.
What about Girard? Doesn t he scare you?
Zeke shakes his head casually as he pulls to a stop at a traffic light and turns to look at me fully. I have faced and toppled monsters Blue. These two are no different. And remember, I, too, can be monstrous.
A shudder runs through me and we re quiet for the rest of the trip. My anxiety is high as we pull through the gates of the St. James estate. The property is so vast that I can t see the Bishop house from here. Zeke parks the SUV and the front door opens before Zeke has even killed the engine. Jericho steps out, leaning against the door frame. He folds his arms across his chest and watches us. Well, he watches me.
I don t exactly feel welcome, but I can t blame him really. I ve brought trouble to his doorstep.
Blue, Jericho says in greeting before stepping aside and gesturing for me to enter.
A ruckus of noise greets us as soon as we re in and the door is closed behind us.
Daddy, we re having an ice cream party! a little girl calls out as she comes barreling into the hallway. She s incredibly cute with a mass of wild dark curls. She must be eight or nine. She s wearing a yellow bathing suit and is dripping water everywhere. When she sees me, she stops, then looks over at Zeke and her face breaks out into a huge smile as she hurls herself at him. Uncle Zeke!
I watch as he crouches down to catch her, lifting her casually, like he s done this a hundred times before. His smile is as wide as hers and I can t look away from him, from how he looks at her with genuine affection.
Ice cream party, huh?
You want some? We have strawberry and chocolate pops.
Maybe. The little girl turns to me, and I notice how her eyes match her father s exactly. She clears her throat like a little adult.
Aren t you going to introduce us? she asks her uncle and I have to hide my smile behind my hand.
Of course, pardon me. This is Blue. Blue, this is Angelique, Jericho s oldest child.
And his favorite, the little girl says in a loud whisper as Zeke puts her down and she reaches out to shake my hand. She s pretty. Is she your girlfriend? she asks Zeke, eyes on me.
Zeke looks at me and I look at Zeke and it s Isabelle to save the day when she comes into the hall with a baby in her arms and two younger boys trailing her.
You shouldn t be carrying much with that arm, Jericho says and takes the baby from her.
It s fine, I can do everything. Besides, I was going to have a revolt. We need ice cream. Hi Blue, it s really good to see you. She comes to squeeze my hand. It s the first time we re seeing each other since that night. You good?
I m fine. Nice cast.
I picked the color, Angelique says.
Blue was just saying she d love ice cream. She ll join your party, if that s all right, Jericho says. Zeke and I have a meeting.
Of course she can have ice cream with us but why do you always have meetings, daddy? Angelique asks. Even Uncle Dex is taking a break to have ice cream.
Isabelle sighs and looks between the two men. Come on and help me, will you honey? she asks, the little girl. Blue, will you take Adan?
Oh. Sure. I ve never actually held a baby before, I realize. This one is wet and wriggly, a little unwieldy with the inflated flotation devices on his chubby arms, but he s sweet, making all sorts of noises and reaching for the shiny lock on my collar. I make a mental note to ask Zeke to take it off.
Zeke tells Jericho he ll be right in and Jericho walks toward the study. Isabelle and the kids disappear into the kitchen.
Go to the pool and relax a little. I ll be back soon.
I nod because there s nothing else to do although I won t be relaxing. I want to tell him that I m sorry for all the trouble. That I never intended to lay it at his doorstep. Yet here we are.
Please be careful, okay? I ask him because if something happens to him, to either of them, I won t forgive myself.
He pulls me in, the baby making cooing sounds between us as he kisses my forehead, then he disappears into the study after his brother.