24. Blue
24
Blue
“ W hat?” It’s like someone sideswiped me. My mouth falls open, that ringing beginning in my ears. I close my eyes, breathe. I need to keep control of myself. I can’t have one of my spells, not now.
“He made parole.”
“How? That’s not possible. He barely served any time. He?—”
“Shh.” Zeke takes my arms. “He can’t leave the state of Pennsylvania. At least not without permission or he violates his parole. You should be safe here.”
“But I’m not. Wren’s not.” I look up at him. “Are you lying? So I agree? Because I’ll agree anyway. I don’t have many options. Hell, I don’t have any options.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not lying, Blue. Get dressed. My brother and Robbie are on their way over. They have some questions apparently.”
“What questions?”
“Not sure.”
“Zeke? You upstairs?” Comes a man’s deep voice from somewhere in the house, startling me.
“Be down in a sec,” Zeke calls out, gray eyes on me. “Take a few minutes. Get dressed and come downstairs.”
“This is all so bad.” I press the heels of my hands into my eyes. He’s getting out. He warned me he has powerful contacts. They must have helped him get out.
“No one is going to come near you or Wren, Blue. Get dressed. Come downstairs.”
“Can I have my phone back?” I ask him.
“Why?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t call an Uber or something. Just want to call Rudy, make sure Wren’s okay. Make sure he knows no one gets in to see her.” His eyes narrow. He doesn’t trust me. I get it. I wouldn’t trust me either. But can I count on him to get me out of this, to keep us safe? “You want me to start trusting you. You need to start trusting me too. I’m only asking for my phone so I can communicate with my sister.”
“I’ll think about it. Get dressed.”
With a sigh, I nod, and he leaves, closing the door behind himself. I take a minute to process.
My dad is getting out of prison. Zeke’s right that he isn’t allowed to cross state lines but that’s not going to stop him. Not if it means life or death because the man who wants those files will kill him. I know that.
At that, I rush out of the bathroom and back to my bedroom. On the nightstand is the wad of cash. It’s not that I’m concerned about right now, though. The ruined dress is on the bed. I close the door behind me and pick it up to check the pockets and I have never been as relieved as I am in this moment. Because there, stuck on a loose string in the pocket, is the flash drive.
It didn’t fall out. Zeke doesn’t know about it.
This is my back up plan. It has to be. I trust Zeke’s intentions. I believe he will help me and if it’s only to alleviate his own guilt, so be it. I saw how dark his eyes went when he told me that. In helping me, he hopes to atone for a past sin. A failure that cost someone their life. I have a feeling it has to do with Zo?, whoever she is. I remember how he got when I asked about her. Remember what his brother said to him. Maybe I remind him of her. Was she a girlfriend or something?
I shake my head. That doesn’t matter. None of that matters. Him helping me doesn’t mean he cares about me, and the fucking? Well, that’s just a bonus for him.
It’s not that I want him to care or anything like that. Although there’s something with him. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just how big he is. How powerful. How much in control. Hell, maybe it’s just that we’ve been intimate. He’s my first and my emotions are mixed up. My broken brain trying to make something out of nothing. Like when he cut the steak for me at the restaurant or how he checks that my hand is healing well.
It's all confusing.
No. I shake my head. I chalk it up to emotions being high. I can’t be stupid, even though I will admit that on some level, it’s a relief to have his protection. I need to remember why I’m here. He has no loyalty to me, the opposite if anything. I tried to blackmail him. He doesn’t know me. I’m nothing to him.
As good as his intentions may be, he doesn’t know the kind of people dad was dealing with. The kind that will put a gun to a sixteen-year-old girl’s head. The kind that will pull the trigger if they got the chance. I know that. I was there for it. Played the leading role.
I don’t know what is on this flash drive. I haven’t been able to access more than a few files. I don’t even want to know more. But if the only way Wren and I will be safe will be to give it back to whoever wants it, then I’ll do that.
I get dressed quickly, pulling on my worn but beloved jeans and a sweater. I should have taken some shoes from my apartment, too, but I just slip my feet into these borrowed ballet flats. I bury the flash drive inside the pocket of my jeans and make sure it’s not visible before I head out into the hallway and down the stairs. I can already hear men’s voices coming from the study, where light spills out of the open door. My heart beats fast as I make my way to it.
There’s nothing they could have found on that laptop. There’s nothing to find. I don’t know what questions they’ll have for me, but I should be safe. And once they’re gone, I’ll ask Zeke for one more thing. To move Wren and maybe Rudy, too. To bring them here? No, that’s too hard. I need her somewhere where I can get us out if I need to. This house is a fortress.
Taking a deep breath in, I enter the study. Three sets of eyes turn to me, conversation coming to an abrupt halt the moment I’m inside.
Zeke is leaning against the desk drinking a whiskey. His brother, Jericho, whom I recognize from the other day, is standing with his arm on the mantle of the fireplace. He, too, is holding a tumbler of whiskey. A man I don’t know is sitting on the couch with my laptop on his lap, that gun in its Ziploc on the coffee table beside a bottle of whiskey and an empty tumbler. A fire is burning in the fireplace. It’s not a cold night but it’s comforting hearing the crackling of wood.
I clear my throat.
“Come inside, Blue,” Zeke tells me.
I go to stand next to him. He puts his drink down and wraps a hand around the back of neck to lead me toward the others.
“Sit down,” Zeke says. “Jericho, Robbie, this is Blue. Blue, my brother, Jericho and Robbie.”
I nod, wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans.
“Relax,” he whispers. He walks over to the desk and picks up his whiskey, makes a point of taking a sip while I watch, then hands it to me. He’s making sure I know it’s not drugged. I take it, although I don’t like the stuff, especially after the other night, and drink a sip. He’s right, I need to relax. They don’t know anything. Hell, I hardly know anything.
“Where did you get the laptop?” Jericho asks.
“I already told you, it was her father’s,” Zeke says.
His brother’s eyes, which are different colors, are zeroed in on me like he’s trying to read my mind. “I’d like to hear it from her,” he says with a quick glance in his brother’s direction.
I wonder about the dynamic between them. I think Jericho is older but they’re close in age. What is their relationship like? The two times I’ve seen them together it seems tense. There’s some unresolved history between them.
“It’s my father’s,” I repeat.
“And the gun?”
“My father’s.” I scratch my nose and look up at Zeke who narrows his eyes.
“Well, that’s odd,” Jericho says.
Zeke folds his arms, leaning against the mantle alongside his brother.
“How so?” I ask.
“How so, Robbie?” Jericho mimics.
“Thanks for asking,” Robbie says. Is this some game to them? Robbie continues typing something onto the laptop, so it takes him a moment to drag his gaze to mine. “Funny enough, it’s registered to Imperium Valens Invictum. New Orleans chapter.”
I’m confused. Imperium Valens Invictum. “Am I supposed to know what that is?” I ask, shifting my gaze from the man to Zeke.
“IVI. The Society,” he says.
The Society, as in his secret society. As in The Cat House and whatever else they have going on behind those high walls.
“That doesn’t make any sense. How do you even know? The serial number is filed off.”
“Not well enough,” Robbie says.
“So, unless your father is a member of The Society, and I’m pretty sure he’s not, you’re lying,” Jericho says, accusation loud and clear. He does not like me.
My throat goes dry, my stomach twisting in knots as I look up at Zeke whose face is stone.
“Explain yourself,” Jericho says.
“Where did you get the gun, Blue?” Zeke asks.
“I—”
Zeke crosses the room so fast, I gasp and lean as far back in the chair as I can. He grips a handful of hair and tugs my head backward. I wrap both hands around his forearm.
“We made a deal, you and me. Not five fucking minutes ago. I’m done with your lies. You tell the truth, now, or it’s off.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you lose my protection. Your sister loses my protection.”
“You can’t do that.”
“No? What did I tell you upstairs about playing me for a fool?”
“I’m not. I swear. Let go. You’re hurting me.”
He looks at me. I’m half off my seat trying to alleviate the pressure on my scalp. He releases me but doesn’t move away.
I rub my scalp and see how Jericho is watching us. I get the feeling he wants to know what’s going on between his brother and me. I get the feeling he won’t like it that we fucked.
“I never told you it was my dad’s,” I say to Zeke. “You assumed and when you asked me I just?—”
“You just lied. Which you seem to do fairly casually.”
I shake my head, look down at my lap, try to think. I wipe my eyes because this is going from bad to worse and I have a feeling we’re just getting started.
“Whose gun is it?” Jericho asks.
Jericho looks angry and like he’s not surprised. Zeke, though, there’s more there. Not just anger.
“I don’t know,” I say, my voice sounding more fragile than usual. At least the answer is true. “Can I?” I point to the whiskey and Zeke nods, so I pick it up and drink a sip. I hold onto it, to have something to do with my hands.
“Continue,” Zeke says.
I look up at them and I know I am in so far over my head. This world, I don’t belong here. These men are dangerous. So dangerous.
“Blue, last fucking chance.”
I nod. “After my dad was arrested, I left. I took my mom’s car and Wren and I left. I was in a hurry and scared and hadn’t thought it through. I had no money. I was sixteen. And Wren, well, my big sister was gone. She was always good at taking care of us and the Wren I knew was gone.” My hands shake as I bring the tumbler to my lips and force myself to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I knew where Mom hid her checkbook and there wasn’t a lot of money but some, so I went back to the house to get it. It was late and no one should have been there, but someone was.” My voice breaks as I recall that night. What almost happened. “Two men.”
“Who were they?” Zeke asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “They didn’t take the time to introduce themselves,” I say, trying for casual but failing. “The house was torn apart. I was stunned. When I walked in, I mean, I just stood there, and he was right there although he didn’t see me at first. If I’d been faster, I maybe could have run. But then another man came out of the bedroom. He saw me right away. And he said something, I don’t know what. I tried to run then but I was too slow. The first man, he grabbed me, and held me while the other one asked me where it was.”
“Where what was?” Jericho asks.
I point to the laptop. “He said my dad had left something for him, but it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. I knew that much. I’d already taken it. I couldn’t tell him where it was or they’d find Wren. When I wouldn’t give him the answer he wanted, he just got bored or something. He checked his watch like he was late. Then he told the other one to take care of me and left. And then he, the one who was left behind…” Oh God. This part. This next part. Another secret I’ve kept, like what happened to Wren. What my father did to her before he beat her.
“Blue?” Zeke says gentler this time. “What did he do?”
I don’t look up. I keep my eyes on the amber liquid in the glass. “He grinned and it was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. He took me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed and… He hit me. Slapped me and I was dazed. He didn’t have to. He was so much bigger than me and so strong.” I drag in a shaky breath and in my periphery, I see how Zeke’s hands are clenched, his body stiff. “I guess he decided since he couldn’t find the laptop that he’d take something else while he was there. He’d had his gun out already to threaten me with it and he set it aside. He then… When he had his hand in…” Jesus. I look away from them. All of them. I take a shaky breath, start again. “He told me what he was going to do to me, and I could see he would. He was…” My voice is so small, so shaky. I’ve never talked about this. “He undid my jeans and when he put his hand inside, I didn’t even think. I just grabbed the gun. It was right there, and I grabbed it, and I don’t even know how it went off. I don’t know.”
“Christ.” Zeke pushes his hands into his pockets.
“Did you kill him?” Jericho asks.
“I didn’t know at first. I thought maybe. He was so heavy on me, and it took forever to get him off but then he made a sound, and I think I’d only hit his shoulder or something. I don’t know. There was a lot of blood, but I didn’t wait for him to wake up. I just grabbed the checkbook I’d come for, and I ran. I didn’t even realize I was still holding onto the gun until I got to the motel.”
I rub my face, press the heels of my hands into my eyes. I still remember how it felt to have him on top of me. I can still feel his hand inside my panties.
“What did he look like?” Jericho asks, some of the edge gone from his voice.
I shake my head. I don’t want to remember. “Blond hair. Really light, like his eyes. Big too. He had a tattoo on his neck. Here.” I point behind my ear, to the side of my neck. “An O with something like a plus sign through it.”
Zeke and Jericho exchange a glance.
“Draw it,” Jericho says, getting up to retrieve a piece of paper and pencil from the desk.
“Um. Okay. It was something like this, I think. I remember because it was kind of familiar but I’m not sure why.”
I draw the symbol. Jericho looks at it, clearly doesn’t know what it is. The man with the laptop speaks up.
“It’s called a coda.”
“What is that?” Jericho asks.
“Like from a sheet of music?” I ask, realizing why I found it familiar. “I took music classes at school. It was mandatory. That’s probably why I recognized it. I don’t remember what it stood for though.”
“Finale,” the man fills in, still busy on the laptop.
“Didn’t know you studied music,” Zeke says to him.
“I am a man of many interests,” he says with a smile.
“And the other man?” Zeke asks.
I shake my head. “I couldn’t see his face. Just heard his voice. He had a long coat on and a hat. There was something though. I’m not sure, it was dark, but I think he only had one hand.”
“How do you know that?”
“His coat, it was pinned where his right hand should have been.”
Another glance is exchanged between the brothers.
“I know my father was in over his head. What he’d done this time, stealing what he stole, it was not his usual kind of job. He was small time, and this one was going to be his jackpot, he’d said. But I know he was afraid of whoever he was working for, too.”
Robbie turns the laptop around. “There were a lot of files on this computer once. Looks like they were moved to an external drive.”
My heart leaps. How the fuck does he know that?
“Some that were in a buried file I’ve been able to retrieve but I’m guessing there are more. Any idea where that external drive might be?”
Yeah. In my pocket. I don’t say that though. I sit on my hands, trying to stop them from shaking and shake my head. “I guess my dad had moved them.” I lean my nose into my shoulder to scratch it. When I look up, I see Zeke’s eyes intently watching me. They narrow a little.
“I think Blue is tired,” he says suddenly, stepping away from the mantle.
I get up to my feet, nod, grateful to get out of here.
Jericho watches us, quiet but observing, not missing a thing.
Zeke walks over to the desk and retrieves something from inside the drawer. He comes to me, and I see it’s my phone.
“Code is 84651. Check on your sister then go to bed, understand? Do not make me regret giving this to you.”
I take the phone, look up at him, grateful again. “I won’t. I promise. Thank you.”
He nods.
I bite the inside of my cheek and glance at the others over his shoulder, then walk out of the room.
“What the fuck are you doing with that girl, Brother?” I hear Jericho ask before the door closes behind me.