Chapter 7
Seven
Kaden
The week after Isabella left had been a blur.
I barely slept, hardly ate, could barely focus on work. Yet, somehow, I still managed. Part of me wished I could have done things differently and the other part was upset I wasn’t more devastated after how long we had been together.
On the surface we seemed like the perfect couple, but she wasn’t perfect.
Neither of us were. Sure, we could have done things differently, but she knew what my goals were when we started dating in high school.
On occasion, she would throw it in my face and I just wanted to scream, you knew what you were signing up for.
I always felt like she had hoped my injury would shift my focus, but never once did I allude to that possibility. Should I have proposed? Probably. Would it have changed the plans I had? No.
Would she have eventually gotten tired and curious about what else was out there? It’s hard to say but I think her random breakup hints at yes. It takes a special woman to understand and be able to live life as a significant other to someone involved in sports of any kind.
Long hours away, between travel and training. Eating, drinking, sleeping, and breathing the sport while also being present to the family. It’s not easy for me either.
There was always something upsetting her. Now, as a trainer and coach, I have a few trainees who are starting to branch out which means more travel, longer hours, less sleep.
It was better this way, it had to be. Arlo always says, “everything happens for a reason”. Surely this was my sign life was headed in the direction it was supposed to be. It doesn’t mean it hurts any less, but it gave me hope in knowing I had a little less to stress over.
Like with any bro, Arlo did his part in telling me he never liked Isabella anyway. When she came around, Arlo would make himself scarce. At one time I believed he was giving us privacy, but the more I thought, the more I felt like it wasn’t true.
A sliver of incandescent orange began to peek at the horizon, clean as a freshly sharpened Katana. It pushed against the lingering darkness, painting the undersides of the scattered clouds in fiery hues of peach and rose.
I yawned, arriving at work this early was bittersweet. On one hand, I could still be asleep, but on the other I would miss out on the beautiful secrets the sunrise held.
As the sun continued its ascent, the colors deepened, bleeding from fiery orange into a rich molten gold.
Each jagged peak, once a stark silhouette, now began to reveal its true form: ancient, weathered rock faces scarred by time, dark pines clinging precariously to impossible slopes.
Long, inky shadows stretched from the mountain bases, slowly retreating as the light intensified, revealing hidden valleys still shrouded in mist.
I sat in my parking spot and just observed for a few minutes. For the first time in several days, I could feel my confidence rising with the sun and I knew without a doubt everything was panning out the way it was meant to be.
A car pulled up and parked next to me, I glanced over to see Arlo jamming out.
When he looked over, we nodded at each other and then he proceeded to pound his hand into his fist. It was an attempt at being intimidating, but it didn’t work on me.
I was just looking forward to our sparring session this morning.
Stepping out of my car I inhaled deeply. The air, crisp with the lingering chill of night, entered my lungs and I slowly exhaled. “Ready to get your ass kicked?” I taunted Arlo as soon as his car door opened.
Arlo raised his brow. “Well, you sound chipper today.” We made our way to the back of our cars to grab our gym bags.
“I’ve got a new perspective.” I smiled and closed the hatch. “Full roster today?”
He grinned, probably impressed with my subject changing skills. “It’s a light day, I’ll probably give the guys some extra mat time. You?”
“A couple guys coming in this evening.” I looked forward to our training sessions. Since I had business to attend to during the day, I had to keep most of my sessions to the late afternoons into evening. “I’ve got an idea I’d like to run by you.”
“Let’s hear it.” Arlo sounded enthusiastic.
As we entered the building I explained to him an idea which had been brewing in my head over the last few weeks. We had a couple of guys we had started training around the same time. “What if we had them spar against each other before the open mat?” I paused and noticed Arlo’s wheels turning.
“It would give us a chance to practice coaching in our corners.” He nodded in agreement. “Then we’d know who the better coach was.”
His comment caught me off guard but once it clicked I couldn’t help but laugh. “The losing coach buys the other dinner? Remember, I like my steaks how I like my women… Rare.”
I stared at Arlo. “I just don’t think what you just said came across the way you meant for it to, man.”
He glared at me as we put our bags in our lockers. “See you on the mat.” He made the I’m watching you finger gesture, a definite challenge I was ready to make good on.
???
The drive home was quiet… Too quiet. I grasped my phone searching for a podcast to listen to, occasionally glancing up to make sure I wasn’t going to crash into anything…
or any one. With the way my luck was going lately, this was likely the last thing I should be doing.
Isabella’s words encapsulated my brain. You shouldn’t be on your phone while driving, you’re worth more to me alive than you are dead.
It wasn’t true. Had I died she would have received a nice sum of money between my savings and life insurance policy.
She didn’t know about either, but after we had been together for a couple of years, I put her on as a beneficiary in case.
The fact I hadn’t shared the information with her was probably another sign I was far from ready to commit to forever. That’s something you tell someone.
A horn blared as another driver zoomed past me. Between getting lost in thought and being on my phone, I had started to drift into the other lane. A brief thought crossed my mind about how maybe things would be better if I wasn’t around.
“Cut it out man.” I grasped my steering wheel until my knuckles turned a ghostly shade of white.
“This isn’t like you.” I hoped my little pep talk would get me out of my head and back onto the mat, mentally going over moves.
“It wasn’t supposed to be, so what? You can’t just give up.
It’s time to live, to do the things you’ve dreamed of.
” I took a deep breath and eased it out slowly.
“And eventually you’ll meet someone out there who is going to love you, support you and your dreams, to the fullest.”
I just need to focus on myself now.